Pain Changer

I have been content, well content is too far...more like resigned to living with a degree of abdominal pain that would bring most grown-ups to an emergency room. Every month at least once sometimes two or even three times the pain level would turn up like the volume on an angry teenager's music. It felt like being stabbed in one spot. It was horrible and unrelenting for anywhere between 30min and an hour. I would get sweaty and stay bent over myself. It sucked. But now there's this appointment on the horizon so of course, it changed.

Today shortly before 2:00pm a different pain happened. This time it felt like there was metal in there and I couldn't sit up let alone bent over. Horrified, I called the Dr. My old "friend" the nurse answered and sighed. She told me there was nothing anyone could do for me until I had the ultrasound. She continued with "If you really can't stand it go to the emergency room." I didn't argue with any of this not because I agreed but because I was stunned. Then she said (and I'm positive that this is a direct quote) "If the Dr thought it was serious she'd have asked you to come in by now."

This is when I found my voice and replied "Do you think maybe this information might change her mind?" This is the point where she took down the information and told me she'd speak to the doctor and get back to me. The minutes stretched on for days as I waited with waves of pain crashing over me. Then as is custom when waiting for an important call, I missed it.

I left two tearful messages and hung up on her voice mail once, but still the time stretched out like a surrealist landscape. When I got her on the phone it was clear that emotions were running high on both sides. She told me the doctor can't do anything for me until I get an ultrasound and there isn't a single opening until my appointment in TWO DAYS. I said I could understand the doctor thinking that I'd made it a year so what's two more days, but I wasn't reporting my pain to anyone because they told me it was GI related and I didn't have a GI. Also, IT CHANGED. Hello! Consistent for a whole year and now it's different. Why am I the only one who cares?!?

I don't remember exactly what was said after that point, but the bottom line is I have to wait in pain for my appointment. If I go to the emergency room I will be told to see my Dr. and given a prescription for pain medicine (that I do not want) to the tune of a few hundred dollars. The nurse did offer me 800mg Motrin, but it's not worth the effort since I have Motrin at home. She did also tell me a horrible personal story that scared me more than comforted me. I just need to get one on one with the damn Dr. I have to admit it's surprising how little consideration they gave their misdiagnosis and my pain. It seems to me I should have seen the Dr. on Monday bright and early.

I did find someone to come with me to my horribly timed appointment from which I will be rushing to get Miss Roo from school, sigh. If only I could pause everything else and just deal with this.