Closer Together, Farther Apart

Things have changed so much between my childhood and raising my children. It's completely confusing. Our social interactions are nothing like they once were. The internet brought so much convenience to our lives, but it altered the way relationships are conducted on some levels. For good and bad. I reconnected with my husband via cyberspace. On the other hand I've looked in on some ghosts from past I should not have. I've been bullied and hurt by strangers I have never met. I've formed support systems that have gotten me through some dark days. The passiveness and anonymity are hard to resist sometimes. I've derailed a bit, but attention span is part of it too. Everything interpersonal is different. Especially, the delivery of bad news.

I remember an Outer Limits episode more eloquently stating that technology allows us to get farther away from one another. We physically move apart because we can rely on technology to keep us "connected". It's not the same as physically being near one another at all. I would have certainly lost touch with almost everyone I went to high school with without social media. The trade off is that their lives are reduced to an infrequent collection of far away bits of information and images. Will I ever choose to pick up the phone and call them and actually hear their voice when I can read their page instead? In most cases, no.

All I could think as I stared at the horrible news, actual. horrible. news. in my news feed was how alone I was with it. Someone who I remembered for his kindness had suffered a tragedy that made front page news across the country. I wept for him, but other than sharing the donations page I couldn't do anything. Someone I hadn't seen in years had been through something awful. Truly, horrifying.

I turned to Mike for someone to talk to and realized how strange it all was. Someone I knew who hasn't been part of my day to day life for years, that you've never met, has had something horrible happen. What could he say? When I was younger you would get a phone call. The caller would ask you to sit down and they would give you the bad news. At which point you would discuss what happened with the messenger and begin to process the information. Even better they'd tell you in person not just offering an empathetic ear, but a hug or hand to hold.

Now we are connected enough to hear and share the news sometimes, but not to connected enough to discuss it with someone else who would understand. I felt the same way each time one of my college professors passed away. There was all this sadness and no one to share my grief with or even be nostalgic with. Maybe it would be worse not to know at all. Maybe it would be better in some cases? Connected and disconnected all at the same time. Such a strange way to live.