Judgey Wudgey Bear

As we approach the holiday season, I'd love to clear the air as much as a lowly little mommy blogger like myself could ever clear the air. Here's the thing, one of those teeth brushing epiphanies, I don't judge other moms even a tenth as much as I perceive them to be judging me. I'm definitely weird on many fronts, but I have to assume, after some reflection, I'm not being judged as much as I think I am. Obviously, there is judgement, let's be honest it's just human nature. I'm just saying we may project our fear of being judged more often than we actually are judged. A+ if you're still with me, phew.

When you don't feed your kid an 100% organic locally sourced diet not only do I not judge you, I don't care. Same goes for what kind of diapers you use. Let's just be perfectly clear, unless your reading reviews as a new mom, no one in the history of humanity even cared what anyone else's baby poops in. Especially when your own kids are potty trained, just saying. As long as your kids seems happy and functional your parenting is okay by me. If they're alive/growing I'm not going to tsk, tsk over what you fed them for lunch or whether it was presented in a themed bento box. Lord knows, it's a small miracle to get food in them AT ALL some days. I do look at your lunch meat panda munching a celery bamboo stick picture on Facebook and think "that's cute." That is not however the same as judging other moms, my self included, for not embarking on an around the world Pinterest worthy lunch adventure. Although, I probably will judge myself momentarily for the uncrustable I threw in the lunchbox this morning, I'll get over it.

We're all doing our best in an incredibly challenging situation. Don't worry about flack from me because you allow your kids to watch television. I grew up in the 80's we watched a lot of great, at least when viewed through a nostalgic filter, children's programming. I don't talk about my kids viewing habits with other moms for fear of judgement. I'm not raising couch potatoes, I monitor what and how much they watch. I know how wildly different kids personalities can be and I allow entertainment suited to them. Guess what? I trust that most parents are doing the same. Call me crazy, but I'm fairly certain in this technical age most of us figured out what worked for our lifestyles and our children pretty quick. So, the end, right? I still avoid the subjects of politics, religion and screen time in unfamiliar (and sometimes familiar) company.

Everyone's got their hot button issues about parenting. I personally, see one of my hot button issues every now and then. I immediately vent to my bestie or spouse for a bit. After that, I have more of a feeling that we're "different kinds of moms" more than a condemnation of anyone's lifestyle. I probably file certain moms in this category to avoid them judging me for our differences than anything else. I'm not an insecure person in general, but there's nothing like pouring your heart and soul into something and then receiving harsh criticism. There's no harder job than raising tiny humans.

I also understand that it is so easy to take things out of context. I don't know a lot...scratch that ANYONE in my exact parenting situation. Peeking in from the outside at someone else it's likely that what I perceive may be entirely incorrect.

When do I judge? When I see a happy kid having a good time. A kid in mismatched clothes, in a cardboard fort in the backyard beaming up at the camera with a chocolate milk mustache. That's when I think "Wow there's some good parenting." It's all about those happy childhood memories. It's about feeling loved intensely, because you are. It's all about growing up knowing who you are because it was always ok to be yourself.

I don't know many people who go to therapy to discuss what their mom packed in their lunch, how their mom decorated their room or any of the other nonsense that seems so important since social media. Oh Boy! If I'm wrong and we're raising that generation they'll have proof of everything!

Keep doing your best for the smaller humans Moms & Dads and don't worry about what I think (because most of the time I think you're doing better than me!).