Epcot on Wheels (aka Disney Round 2)

As you know from my last post I was pretty satisfied with my first trip to Animal Kingdom. It was a fun day and I did it without having to drag my grumpy husband. I was super tired the next couple days, but the pain was tolerable (nowhere near what I expected for such a long day). When my Disney partner in crime asked if I was interested in hitting Epcot's Flower & Garden Festival a mere seven days after our Animal Kingdom trip I was super excited. A lot of stressful stuff went on in February this year that I'd rather not talk about, but the night before our Epcot trip more than one person remarked that my stress level was "scaring them". I almost backed out of the trip I was so overwhelmed, but the consensus was that getting away for the day was the best thing I could do.

Not to worry the wheelchair gloves made it into the bag this time. I also hit up a Disney store sale with a gift card I'd been saving from Christmas and scored Roo an awesome Mulan dress. I figured since we were going to Epcot I'd break it out. I didn't tell her anything ahead of time this trip. I put her to bed like any other night. When I woke her up she complained "Mom it's still dark out!" and I said "That's because I thought we'd go to Disney today." I gave her a Minnie shirt and a jean skirt to wear and then told her to come get breakfast. I'd hung the Mulan dress in the kitchen. She was thrilled!

As we were driving there she slept. All the sudden about 10min before the Welcome sign Roo woke up and started fretting. She must have had a nightmare because she kept insisting "Mom! Mom! I forgot to wear clothes! There's nothing under my Mulan dress!" She was beside herself and laughing at her only made it worse. Poor pumpkin. Eventually, she woke up enough for me to reassure her and we were there.

Our Epcot day started off great! It was a no plans kind of trip. We were there when the park opened, no ticket issues this time and we had an amazing encounter with the some of our favorite celebrities at exactly 9am.

One of the reasons I love Epcot is because it absorbs crowds better than other parks. Which means I had no prolonged experiences where I was eye level with a sea of butts. No horrible back breaking inclines except the ramp into the building where The Land is. That thing is horrible! It was warm that day. I was over heated and tired by the time I tackled it. I will tell you halfway up that 409,879,239.2 mile beast someone stopped to give me push. Armed with my gloves getting around was much easier than my trip the week before though.

Now for some highlights:

Running into her best friend at Disney!

Riding the Nemo ride again, being eaten by a shark, talking to a turtle, visiting everyone's favorite small purple dragon, running into an old friend from our trip last summer, Disney magic and some treasure.

Visiting Mulan! She said "If I would have known you were going to wear my dress I would have worn one of yours." It was an adorable, amazing visit. Not just because Roo visited one of favorites in costume, but also because when we got to the line we were turned away and a teenage girl and her mother gave us their spot! Disney magic. Mulan even kissed her!

Roo also had a wonderful visit with Mommy's favorite.

One last highlight is actually a Disney milestone...Roo's first Mickey Bar! It's a huge deal because I am an all or nothing (usually nothing) person when it comes to theme park food. I always packs snacks and usually lunch too. My kids have only ever eaten one table service dinner inside a Disney park. Getting an ice cream bar was a big deal. How cute is this?

Animal Kingdom on Wheels

I am a life long Disney fan, of course. I haven't a clue exactly how many time I went from 3-21, but it has got to be a pretty decent number of times. When I was in college my boyfriend and I went every year between Christmas and New Years. We even debated getting annual passes so we could go every time I came home from collage. When I met Mike I hadn't been to Disney in a year or two. Between his issues with crowds, a poor economy and the fact that I was suddenly mom to a 5yr old I doubted if I'd ever get back there. It was a strange time and soon we had Riley.

Mike assured me that we'd go to Disney "someday". My hopes were not high. Then time passed and it seemed possible, but Mike insisted we wait until Riley was completely potty trained. I suspected he was stalling, but he had a point. Last summer we had an opportunity. I was stunned when he asked me to look into a Disney trip and blown away when he gave me the go ahead to plan it.

We had a great three day trip to Disney. We all enjoyed ourselves. Mike didn't enjoy some parts and I doubted if I'd ever get us back as a family. When I asked if he'd go back he reverted to his old answer of "someday". Again my hopes weren't high. I pressed on another seven months trying not to think about the "Happy-est Place on Earth."

It wasn't hard to be distracted from Disney dreams there was a lot to keep me busy. As 2014 started I decided we needed to plan another family vacation. When I looked into things I found a great Groupon for a theme park we'd been to before and liked (not Disney).

It was a wonderful way to celebrate Isaac's magnet middle school acceptance and academic achievements. We had a lovely day. I thought theme parks were behind me when I had the back surgery (Have I mentioned being wrong a lot?). It was so nice to have a theme park day with my family. I came away wanting more of them. In my mind theme park trips are one of the perks of your kids growing up. I worried that we just weren't a "theme park family" because Mike doesn't enjoy them as much as the kids and I.

When my best friend decided to grant her daughter's birthday candle wish of a trip to "princess land" aka Disney she asked me for tips. It really made me want to go back to Disney! I talked Disney with her, joined Disney Moms facebook groups and watched youtube videos of other people's Disney trips. That's when I decided to pitch Mike the idea of getting annual passes. He had some concerns and I pressed on offering varying ideas on the subject. In the end I agreed that Mike just wouldn't want to go that often. I was concerned whether I could handle taking the kids on my own. It boiled down to this: I could drive the kids to Disney and probably handle a day with them, but there's no way after all that I could get us home.

Ok, I give up. It's not realistic. There was no more to discuss. Then I found out about an amazing only-come-around-once-a-year deal. I could buy a 3 day ticket that equated to $43 a day! It didn't have to be used all at once either. I talked to Mike about it and we decided it would be ok for me to get Riley and I each a 3 day ticket. I would save one day to go with my sister, but I had two other trips to plan...

I was over the freaking moon to have such a problem. I called Mike's cousin's wife who has a pass and a 2yr old and she was planning a trip to Animal Kingdom that week! Hot Damn!! She was happy for the company and I was happy for the ride.

I definitely wouldn't have been able to do the round trip drive and all that Disney fun. I left my wheelchair gloves at home which made everything harder. Hello, friction burns. There was a particularly vicious hill I am not a fan of at all that is of course in a central area. It's hard enough to mount a steep incline on your own, but try it in a crowd with a 4yr old on your lap, Oye! Other than that I felt like I did better than I expected. Roo had an awesome day with her little cousin and Mommy got her Disney fix. Were there's will there's a way, right Mickey?"

Stranded

From time to time, I have been truly stranded. I have been stuck in a bed, a chair, in a room or some other place that I don't want to be, with no way to leave. I have woken up unable to to climb out of my bed. I have found myself on the couch unable to reach my crutches. I've had a child take off in my wheelchair and leave me stuck. I have crawled like a baby across rooms and been carried. It is a vulnerable thing to be stranded. Somehow, I never feel relaxed like a cartoon man in tattered clothes sunning himself on an island beach waiting for rescue. It is pure frustration to be stranded, stuck and stunted. It is the battle against my flawed body to accomplish my goals at it's extreme low.

I can forget where I put my crutches the same way someone else might misplace their phone or keys. Nothing like forgetting your legs, right? I expect on my worst of days to be besieged by frustration and I plan accordingly. The trouble is that sometimes it's a good day physically and something completely out of my control strands me. Those days knock the wind out of me.

It is hardest when an overly physical task sprung on me: a wet bed in middle of the night, a broken pipe under the sink or any of those day to day emergencies that happen to everyone. Things that wear on my joints and test the limits of my fused spine. I take them in stride, but they always cost me. I balance things as much as I can, because that's what Moms do.

I have a friend who left her wheelchair in the driveway when she transferred into the car and didn't realized she didn't have it in the car until she was pulling into a parking space at her destination. Stranded. Another disabled mom friend of mine recently went shopping prior to a snow storm and couldn't find an electric cart that functioned. Not one electric cart with a charge in the whole store and no one who cared. Stranded.

I had a similar experience recently with a happier resolution. I went to Target bright and early, grabbed a electric cart and went on my way. I picked up everything on my lengthy list working my way to the back of the store. It was there, of course that the battery died. There I was perched on a paperweight, in the back of this sprawling store. I was mildly irritated until I turned around and saw another woman in the same situation, a handful of aisles behind me. She was older and heavier than me, but she had a shopping companion. I'd say the competition for who was worse off was a draw. My basket was ridiculously full and I didn't want to abandon my haul to find help. I sat there scanning the aisles and debating whether to just walk out. I couldn't bear the thought of being stuck or giving up after my trip was all but done.

Finally, I saw someone coming and felt completely relieved- for about two seconds. He passed me on his way to rescue the other lady. He swapped her bum cart for a new one. I waved him over, now visibly upset, and he explained that he just gave her the last charged chart in the store. I looked from my cart to him in dismay, but before I could embarrass myself with any further emotional display he offered to fetch a cart. He said he would load and push it for me. While he was gone the rescued lady's second cart ran out of steam too! It was almost so ridiculous it was funny. That poor woman.

My hero followed through, cheerfully getting quite the cardio-workout placing all my stuff in a regular cart. He walked me through my last few items and on to the checkout line. He unloaded everything on to the belt and disappeared to save the other victim of the-day-all-the-batteries-died. The managers were appalled by the situation and my new friend even came back to help me get everything in the car.

I've been lucky a few times and not so lucky many more times. I think everyone has those moments, but they are more routine when you have mobility issues. I find being prepared: shopping early so the carts are still plugged in from the night before, not patronizing stores that are too hard to manage, stocking up on things when I'm out so that if I can't get out later we have them, being very vocal with management when there's an issue in hopes it won't happen again...and so on. Somethings are just beyond our control even if we do everything we can to prepare there will always be surprises. "Pick, yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again..."

Using Other People's Bathrooms

In my normal (aka not post op) life I don't have any anxiety about using the facilities anywhere I go. I don't often even use the handicapped stall when I'm out and about and not freshly healing from something. As I started venturing out to visit friends, enjoy family events and so on it became clear not all bathrooms are created equal.

At home I cane wheel right up to one toilet and there's a conveniently located washing machine to brace myself on, beside it. The other bathroom's doorway is too narrow. I pull as far in as I can manage, brace myself on the door frame, lean in and use the counter to lower myself onto the potty. At home I can always choose to just walk in with my walker too.

I'm not usually picky about where I do my business with one exception, I will walk over hot coals to avoid the (SHUDDER) bed pan. I digress when I'm out and about I rarely have my wheelchair and walker. Usually, I just bring my chair erring on the side of caution especially if Riley's with me.

I was was at someone elses's house a few weeks ago. I was able to wheel in and close the bathroom door, but the height of the counter and toilet were different. I was having trouble spinning around. I knocked the paper onto the floor and couldn't bend to pick it up. It was as I was dropping myself onto the toilet seat that Riley barged in and left again without even helping me reach the toilet paper. Sigh. I broke the bending rule because I didn't have a choice.

I managed to do what I needed to do, replace the paper and get out of there, but it was a sobering experience. Just because I can hobble around the house doesn't mean the world's my oyster. Thank God this challenge will fade as I heal.

Get Out of my Space

Can you tell what kind of day I had? Generally, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but some people really flaunt their inconsiderateness. I've only been out of the house a handful of times since I can't drive. Today Mike was off (he worked Friday) and the kids were away so we ran a few errands.

I live in a state heavily populated by the elderly so it's not uncommon to have trouble getting a close space. I've been glared or even yelled at for parking in a disabled space because at first glance they only see a young mom. I'm glad they care whether the privilege is being abused, but let's go over this again: Everyone listening?
Not all handicapped people are old.
Some of us have nice cars.
Some of us have families.
We do not live in parking lots, but we sure do use them!
I digress, I understand that it's hard to tell when a disabled space is being abused in some cases, but there doesn't seem to be anyone checking for this abuse. Mike read me an article about how many people admit to using a relative or spous's permit. There were also people granted temporary tags that renewed them. Why was it so easy for the paper to get this information, but no law enforcement agency seems to be able to do it?

We circled the parking lot for about 5mins before we pulled into an open space, the farthest row from the curb. I unfolded my walker and scooted my non-weight bearing butt out of the car. As I hopped past the full disabled spaces I noticed at least 3 vehicles with no disabled tags of any kind. Give me a break. One sure footed gentlemen clammered into a large van. Mike sneered and spat "he doesn't look disabled." Wait a minute, it might be on the license plate. It was.

What does that prove? Just that the registered owner of the car is permanently disabled. Is that him? No idea. Could he have been suffering from a heart defect or other less visible affliction making it difficult for him to march 100ft to that door? Maybe. I on the other hand am 3wks post op and all the hopping is making my leg cramp. Once I did get to the building there were people smoking outside so I was holding my breath as I hopped, not easy. When my bussiness was complete it was a long hop back to the curb and by the time I got there tears were welling up in my eyes. Mike pulled the car around for me.

What Mike and I think would help would be some sort of priority rating. Top level within 3 weeks of major surgery, severe physical limitations, severe heart issues, etc. Next Level less severe versions of all of these. So on down the line they could be color coded and arranged with degrees of closeness. For people whose conditions would be improved from walking a few feet put them a few more spaces down.

What about people using grandma's tag? Report them! If it's obivous (in my state your driver's license number is printed on the permit) or there's a serious doubt don't let them get away with it. Please don't put yourself in danger. Get their plates to the authorities or tell someone who works in the building the parking lot is for and let them tow them. People have been clearly warned about being fined or towed when they park there so don't feel bad. You're saving someone like me an afternoon in bed recovering from an unnecessary over exertion instead of playing with her kids (or being any part of their day).

Having it All

I called the city about that sidewalk and things are in motion. Yay! Disabled mom blogger keeps all the parents and younger siblings from walking in the road. Which made me feel like I was endowed with super powers. Then I reminded myself it was only a brief phone call and I felt sad that it had been the highlight of my day...er week. I was pondering this when my day...er life (or at least outlook) changed.

Have you ever gotten one of those calls? The communication equivalent to a flat tire on you're way out to dinner when you don't have a spare. You see where I'm going here, it changes the course of things in a significant way. More often than not in my life so far it's been bad news. Today it was good news via email.

I had an audition. A real audition. Not a student director or even an independent film maker, but a casting director for a television show contacted me. I'm still alive in the acting world! People find me. I'm going to tape an audition tonight and overnight back to the world I used to live in.

Whether or not I get the part is not the point (although it'd be amazing). The point is that maybe the secret to career and family is timing. Maybe Mike was right and if I wait until Riley's a little older my career will start falling into place again. In whatever form it chooses to take. All this time I thought the world had gotten bigger than my ambitions. I honestly believed there was something wrong with me for not wanting to let my old life die, but maybe I can have both.

Wheelchair Accessibility in the Home

Today I was tired. Bone tired. I decided (grumble, grumble) to use my wheelchair in the house. In the old house this was a miserable endeavor. The rooms were carpeted, crammed with furniture, doorways were small, etc. It's why I wanted to move before my surgery. Everything's different here.

The floors are tile, the rooms are open, and the furniture fits properly. The very best part though is the back bathroom. I can fit through the doorway! Amazing. I wheeled right up to the toilet and sink. Further proof that we're where we're supposed to be.

I simply went about my day in my wheelchair inside the house. It was liberating to know I truly have that choice. I started thinking about inviting my paraplegic mommy friend over for a play date. It wasn't option in the old house. For those of you who remember that post she's the one from the "we have wheels instead of feet" trick or treating incident. I have an accessible house and didn't even know it.

I took a nap when Riley slept and when I got up I had ants in my pants. I took Isaac on his bike and Riley on my lap to the bike trail. It was really nice. Shady and busy with bikers, but no cars to avoid. We took the trial all the way to Boo's neighborhood and then stopped in to play. It was a relief not to think about moving for the day.

We got a ride home later to our wonderful new home.

Kid Friendly, Not So Wheelchair Friendly

I took the kids to an Easter egg hunt at a church near our new house today, Boo's church. When I was growing up I went to a church up the road from my house with a few hundred members. Every year on Easter they put lattice in front of a wooden cross and everyone brought a flower to add to it. It was beautiful by the end of the service. After Sunday school all the kids, maybe 15 of us, would go out to a little grassy courtyard and find eggs.

When I say this event was on a larger scale I'm talking doozer to gorg folks. This church has multiple buildings, I think I counted four. There had to be a thousand people there at least. They had multiple egg hunt locations divided by age. They also had pony rides and bounce houses! It was not the chruch Easter egg hunt I grew up with.

We weren't anticipating the size of the event so we were a few minutes late and the under 4 egg hunt area had been picked clean. I couldn't go in in my wheelchair because in was a playground with sand and there were tons of toddlers. So, Isaac held Boo's hand and Riley went with Boo's mommy. Watching from the sideline through gaps in the crowd became the theme of the day.

Other kids kindly shared their eggs with the girls. Soon Riley was very pleased to have two eggs carry in her pink felt bunny basket. I laughed that the girls thought Easter was the the holiday when people hand you eggs. Riley was in my lap most of the day examining her empty plastic eggs. Between moving all week and the uneven, crowded, outdoor terrain I was really glad there were two other adults with us.

We didn't ride the ponies. Riley and I waited in line while everyone else went to get food, but she was acting skittish. Beyond that I don't think I could have put her up there by myself. Of course the people in line with us were exceedingly sweet so I'm sure someone would have lent a hand. After lunch we did go back and pet the ponies. Riley seemed to really enjoy that and my guess is she was thinking "how do you hug a doggie this big?"

The other thrill beyond thrills was the bounce houses. I hated those when I was a kid. I really wanted to like them. I'd get in there and "jump" a little, but ultimately I'd fall and the other kids would jump on me because I wouldn't be able to get up and my mom would have to come in after me. Anyway, the committee who planned this event knew their stuff. They had an over 5 bounce house and an under 5 one too. I let Isaac go to the big kid bounce house once I was satisfied his lunch was digested enough to avoid incident. He tore off his shoes in a frenzy and gleefully bounced for 3min and then his group came out and gave the other kids a turn and so on. Very impressive bounce house regulating. Boo's mom and aunt took the girls to the little bounce house. Riley was beyond thrilled. My guess there is that she thought "a bed I'm allowed to bounce on? Amazing!".

It was a great day, but I felt pretty ineffective as a parent. I thought more than once that the kids would have had the same experience without me there. Maybe it was my burning desire for a nap talking, but all I did was follow the kids around and watch for the most part. Everyone was very nice, the kids had a blast and I even bumped into an old friend. As far as events go it was impressive. As far as maybe going to a closer church to the new house goes I like my smaller church with one building and a few hundred people better.