Surgery and a Baby...

I've had 13 orthopedic surgeries, a fibroid removal and a c-section as far as major operations. I thought I was done. I even psyched myself up for the c-section by telling myself it was the very last time.

Everybody has baby nightmares, but my reoccurring bad dream was that I'd have to suddenly go to the hospital and be away from Riley. I was terrified my appendix would burst or something and I'd be rushed to the hospital where they would dope me up on meds that are no good for breastfeeding and not let me see Riley for a week.

I finally saw the orthopedic doctor the other day. He did an interview, exam and tons of x-rays. He says my hip needs to be replaced. Not a complete surprise, but a bummer none the less. I have a "malformed" hip socket on the left side from my Cerebral Palsy (since birth). That has been wearing down slowly add to that the bus that hit me crossing the street in college causing further damage to the joint and chronic pain. Because of those things I've had cortisone injections in the joint for inflammation a handful of times which all lead to "avascular necrosis" (no blood flow to the top of my femur).

So, here I am 28yrs old having suffered some degree of pain everyday for the last 7yrs in need of a new hip. Which they tell me will only last 30yrs at best. It makes me sick to think of it. Not that I have any fear of the procedure or doubt that it's the right thing to do just because it means time away from Riley.

I initially thought I'd postpone until Riley was weened completely so that breastfeeding wouldn't be an added concern. Today I talked with a lactation consultant at Bayfront (the hospital where I delivered) and she said I would be able to breastfeed and even keep Riley overnight with me as long as an adult stayed too. Most of my other mommy friends think waiting too long will make recovery harder because Riley will be a lot more mobile.

So, here we go again another one of those worst fear coming true moments...