Frustration

The best laid plans, etc... I wanted to get all the surgical stuff behind me before Riley turned one. For those of you who don't remember I was originally supposed to have my hip replaced and it was only at the last minute that the dr decided to operate on my back. Before my back surgery it was clear that my hip needed to come out as soon as possible. It was also impossible to tell which pain was coming from my back and which was coming from my hip.

Now I'm 2mo post-op so the surgical pain has subsided. Since the surgery I no longer have constant unrelenting back pain so I can pinpoint the origins of my pain with much less difficulty. I can tell you without a doubt my hips hurt. Since the first time I stood up after surgery my hip pain has been substantial.

I went for a follow up visit with the ortho. He was very pleased with how my back is healing. When I was in the hospital I was told if I was healing well we could replace my hip in 6-8wks. At this appointment he explained that "surgery is a tremendous insult to the body" and we should wait until at least October to replace my hip.

I think he never reads the chart before he comes in the room. I formulated this theory when he insisted after being told my left foot kept going numb that I was too young to have issues with circulation. Um, hello! Remember 13 orthopedic surgeries and avascular necrosis of the hip? Sigh, read the chart. Anyway, this time he went on and on about giving it time and then said "we have to get the hip and all that." Nope. You already have the hip we were ready to operate and you changed the plan a week before, remember? Read the chart. Or listen when I correct you.

October?!? We'll see. So, other than that gem he also informed me "all restrictions are lifted." I decided to take a crack at driving. Mike and I went out to the car and spent 20min adjusting the seat, etc once I was comfortable enough I attempted to put my foot on the petal. I failed. My leg was weak and initially it hurt. With some persistence I made a few practice trips around the block and then I cautiously went on my first drive. By the time I got where I was going I was completely exhausted after an hour of sitting I was afraid I wouldn't have the energy to drive home. I got home just fine, but decided I wasn't really ready for driving, yet.

Come on body, heal faster!

Diaper Rashes and Guilt

Riley had a rash that wouldn't go away. It started around the time her first two teeth made their appearance. We thought it was just from all the swallowed drool that comes with teeth. I remember wishing Riley could run around diaperless like the little African baby form the Babies movie so we'd never have to deal with diaper rashes. Time wore on an the rash got worse and she was uncharacteristically fussy especially in the car.

Finally, I decided it was time to call the dr (or more accurately instead of deciding to call the dr and then thinking "it looks like it's getting better" or completely forgetting until after 5 I actually did it). They had us come in and I kept thinking why didn't I ask him to look at it at her last check up? Woulda, coulda, shoulda... I worry about being an over reacting new mom, but at this point I knew something was wrong.

Turns out it was a yeast infection! Poor baby. All the screaming in the car was because it was getting sweaty was irritating it, the weird diaper grab and bounce was because it itched and the middle of the night freak outs were because it was hurting. I felt so awful. How could I have not figured this out sooner?

It's also further proof of what an amazing baby Riley is because aside from the uncharacteristic meltdowns she was still her calm, sweet little self. Also, she just doesn't make a fuss for no reason. Every time I think "what fuss over nothing" I come to find out she's hurt or has exploded poop out of her diaper up her back and all over her clothes or you know has had a yeast infection for over a month.

So, on top of my guilt over the infection the dr says use the prescription cream 3x a day and our regular diaper cream the rest of the time. We ran out of her Dr. Smith's cream so Mike was using powder on her. I come to find out that the pure cornstarch powder was feeding the infection! I felt horrible now I knew what was wrong and I was making it worse. I'm a horrible person, but when I tearfully confessed this to Mike he laughed.

It's true babies get yeast infections in the summer because it's hot. I'd never seen one on a baby before and now I know what to look for now. We didn't use copious amounts of powder for an extended period of time and again now I know. I think Mike had the right idea a sense of humor is important.

It just hurts to know your baby's hurting and it's frustrating not to be able to communicate better with your little one. I guess if major surgery isn't a good excuse to get distracted I don't know what is.

4th of July

Riley's first taste of fireworks. I was so excited all day. Riley had a daytime outfit with a blue and white star tank top and bloomers with red ruffles on the straps. She sported that look to a birthday party in the afternoon. It was one of those moments where I marveled had how much she's grown. At the last family gathering she was just starting to sit up and now she was crawling around and eating real food.

So of course it started raining just as we left the party for our super secret awesome firework viewing spot. I changed Riley into her evening look of a white eyelet shirt with a red strawberry on it and blue jeans. It was super cute and immediately got drenched so it was back to her morning look.

We met our friends with kids there and starting claiming our spot. We all had camping chairs the grown ups and the big kids. The little girl we were with had a little green chair with a frog face on it. We put Riley in it and she sat there looking all proud with her sippy cup in the cup holder for about 10 seconds. After which she was curious and escaped the chair so she could examine it. She was not a fan of the frog face and upon discovering it literally leapt into her daddy's arms. We made a handful of attempts to reconcile Riley and the frog chair, but they remain estranged.

Some miracle occurred and BOTH babies were awake when fireworks started. Riley started out on my lap, but soon enough had demanded a better view and was on daddy's shoulders. She was amazed by the fireworks and stayed on her perch a long time before coming back to my lap and falling sound asleep.

It was an awesome night. I love my adventurous little girl. We laughed all the way home that she'd been more scared of the chair than the fireworks :)

Surviving Surgery with a Baby

So many times through this ordeal I've kicked myself for not thinking of something sooner. Here lovely readers is the best survival guide I can muster.

Ask Questions-Never ever assume a doctor is thinking of your baby even if she's sitting in your lap. Even if they don't know anything about babies or breast feeding there are docs like my primary care that will look up things for you without complaint. My Ortho referred me to the lactation department at the hospital and then didn't want to hear what they said. I had the drug info faxed over in triplicate. Ask, ask, ask. Ask until you're blue the face. Refuse to stop asking until you have an answer. Make them repeat themselves until it makes sense even if you feel stupid or pushy because your baby is worth it.

Get Organized-Really, really organized. If someone comes over to help you be able to direct them in a clear and concise way to anything in the nursery. I organized her clothes, restocked diapers, etc but I regret not labeling drawers. Make sure sippy cups have lids, etc. It's one thing to dig through the 3 possible locations it might be yourself and completely another to make a kind hearted friend paw through all your kitchen drawers. Also, you may discover upon inventory that none of them have their lids any longer. (where do they go?)

Line Up Help-Two Words: Cleaning Lady. Best money I ever spent. Get her started before the surgery so the routine's established. Don't be afraid to ask for help from professionals (lactation consultants, cleaning lady, hospital staff, etc) as well as family and friends.

Eat-I lost a ton of weight. Hospital food is garbage plan accordingly. I was beyond lucky to have friends who dropped off dinners for the first two weeks. But I fell down on procuring snacks to keep handy during recovery. Snacks you can get yourself are key.

Stand Up For Yourself-With your doctor as well as the "helpy helpers." Be honest with them and yourself don't deny hep you clearly need, but if someone thinks help you're not comfortable is critical to your recovery let them know. A ton of people offered to babysit Riley for me, but for me it was important to me to have her with me so we could keep breastfeeding, but more so for my sanity. Post-op depression is a beast and I won't say Riley is the vaccine against it, but she sure kept it from doing much damage. Everyone's going to have an opinion make sure yours is heard. Most people want to do "what's best for you" not all of them will like it when you disagree, but recovering from surgery is hard enough without having to deal with extra stress. It was a totally valid point that weaning Riley and sending her with some formula bottles to babysitters may have been easier, but I'd never get better that way and I knew it.

Make it Work-It took me over a month to realize I could set up the baby gate up around my seat on the couch, duh! Just like when they tell you to make yourself a little nest when you bring your baby home from the hospital so you can nurse comfortably and heal quickly. Pick your spot grab diapers, sippy cup, puffs, etc and get comfy. You made need duplicates to make this work. Formula moms I have no clue how you'd make this work, sorry. I can pretty much plant myself on the couch all day with occasional trips to the bathroom thanks to lactating.

Hope this helps!

Not Exactly Spilled Milk

It was the last week of school. That useless craptastic time when the intensity of "not wanting to be heredness" is equal among student and teacher alike. Isaac had a pretty tough year and with first grade coming to a close he was frequently over tired and over excited.

It was about 7:45 in the morning and Isaac was at the table having his cereal while the rest of us laid in bed a few moments longer. Suddenly there was in quick succession an urgent knock on our bedroom door and slurred incoherent babble. I didn't understand anything except "milk." So, I turned to look at him. His face was red and tear stained. It was clear something had gone wrong in the standard Peanut Butter Puffs Cereal consumption procedure, but I'd be damned if I could understand what.

After two more emotional attempts to explain from which I only gleaned that it had something to do with milk I woke up Mike. I guessed maybe we were out of milk, but that wasn't it. I thought maybe he spilled some milk, but that was also wrong. The more he had to repeat his story the more agitated he got, which made it even harder to understand him.

When everything was revealed, this is what so unnerved our resourceful 7yr old: Apparently he poured his cereal into the bowl just fine, but he overdid the milk. He was really worried about the milk overage so he (this is a direct quote) "tried to put it back." Of course the milk container was meant to be one way so this attempt made a bit of a mess and he lost a few pieces of cereal into it. Having contaminated the whole gallon of milk he tried to fish them out with a tablespoon which he maneuvered in there with some amount of force and persistence and then promptly dropped into the milk container as well. Now he was panicking so he made not one, but two attempts with butter knives before finally enlisting our help.

I'll never forget Mike pouring the milk out and hearing all that silverware clang into the bowl. Kids!!