Conversations With Cute: Endearing Epigrams

During our Disney trip:
Me: Riley do you know the names of Ursula's pets?
Roo: Yeah! Flap Some and Get Some!!
(Flotsam and Jetsam are their names, as in what floats up from a shipwreck)

Roo: Mom, when I grow up I want to be a Disney bus driver!
Me: That sounds like fun, driving people to Disney all day!
Roo: Yeah, I'll be a ballerina, a paleontologist and a Disney bus driver!

Roo: (Washing her hands in the bathroom) Oh...it doesn't come on by itself here...No Disney Magic, huh?
Me: Nope we left that at Disney
Roo: Next time let's catch some (Disney Magic)!

Roo: (Sigh) Mom?
Me: What, Riley?
Roo: I just want to know why my Ariel doesn't come alive and flop around here. (referring to their toys coming alive and moving by Disney magic (aka housekeeping) when we left the hotel)

Me: What did you do at school today?
Roo: Made a letter S snake! With black pola dots.
Me: That sounds awesome
Roo: Yeah. Mom? What does awkward mean?
Me: Not quite right, doesn't fit in.
Roo: Mine is awesome, but my friends were...awkward, but I didn't tell them

Miss Roo recently regained possession of her Barbie Shoes.
Roo: I'll hang on to these shoes!
Me: Good idea, you don't want to loose them now that you have them back
Roo: Yeah! That would be unpleasant.

Me: I need you to clear your place, Riley
Roo: Ugh, stop criticizing!

Riley goes out to visit her dad while he's working in the yard. She runs back into the house and gets a quarter.
Roo:(gives the quarter to her dad) You're working hard, here's a tip

Half pjs half play clothes after nap.
Me: What's going on with your outfit?
Roo: The top half is adorable, the bottom is completely awkward

At her cousin's birthday Riley's aunt opens a new dress
Roo: That's exquisite!
(Various adult react, surprised)
(leaning in closer to her aunt) It's divine.

Playing Barbies in her room
Roo: Ok, concert time! (singing) Let it Go! Let it Go!
(A few minutes go by)
Roo: (singing) I got a bucket! Got a bucket full of sunshine! I got a bucket! Got a bucket! Bucket full of sunshine.

(Last Year's Haunted Hike)

Me: You're going to be good this year, right? You had a fit in the car last year and we almost missed it.
Roo: Yeah (thinks), if you're not good at the Haunted Hike Jack will tell Santa!
Me: You're right they totally know each other.
Roo: Yeah, they totally know each other because Jack needed a hat.

What the Right Decision Looks Like

After three weeks of school I transferred Riley. The details aren't important because after three weeks at her new school it is clear I did the right thing. Thank God! My heart is overflowing with gratitude. Look at the evidence, I found my sweet happy girl again.

There was a new first day sign for our fresh start. She's collected leaves for a nature collage, learned new songs, discussed science topics, practiced her handwriting, made friends, made art, taken a field trip, befriended the stuffed dinosaur in the front office (Diney), learned about a different culture, practiced her musical scales, been to a party and danced a lot! The bulletin board inside the door says "You are artists! You are bright! You are explorers! You are loved! You are the reason we are here." Isn't that great? I'm glad she's happy and learning again.

Blogging for Books: Just My Typo

Time for another book review? More humor is just the ticket.

Just My Typo
By: Drummond Moir

Who doesn't love a good typo? I am a chronic misspell-er/coma miss-er. I quite enjoyed this collection of typos. My favorite hands down is the misprint in a cookbook's souffle instructions warning to "avoid peeing the oven. It may compromise the flavor." These priceless misprints kept me chuckling for the duration. There is nothing funnier than someone trying to be incredibly serious and failing, in my opinion. I was surprised by the quantity and variety of the typos in the book. Everything from legal documents, cell phone auto corrects gone wrong to kid's homework answers.

I recommend it to anyone looking for a light read and few good laughs. Read it, then lend it to a friend long enough to forget some, then re-read it.

Conversations With Cute Spring 2014

In the car over the weekend Riley asked if she could watch Antz later. I thought it was pretty random, but I said sure. It never happened that day, but the next morning after breakfast she asked again.
Her brother put on Antz.
About 2 minutes of movie play...
"This isn't the right Antz!"
Mike tries to figure out what she means, he describes the later part of Antz.
"No, the one with the people in it"
He describes A Bugs Life, James and the Giant Peach, Fly Me to the Moon (she insists none of these are the movie she wants)
Riley thinks VERY hard for a few seconds... "Yellow Submarine!"
She was thinking of the "Beatles".

On the way home from school:
Don't let me pass our turn, ok Riley?
Ok mom. Just...just go straight and then...turn in the shape of the letter "L"
Ok thanks. This one?
Yes the brown one.
The one with eggs on the door?
Mom, who put those eggs there?
I did.
No, say like a joke that the Easter Bunny did.
Ok. Riley who put those there?
Who?
The Easter Bunny!
(Laughs)
Ok, now I'll tell you one...why did the Easter Bunny...um...poop on the eggs?
Ew, Riley. That's gross.
Oh
You should tell that joke to Isaac instead.
Oh, why? Does he like gross things?
Yes
Does he like poop?
Probably, it's gross
(Walks inside)Hey Isaac what do you like?
What?
She wants you to say poop.
What?
Say poop.
Isaac! What do you like?
Poop!
(Hysterical laughter)
(In an incredibly serious tone) Not really though, Riley. It's gross.

I went in to read to Riley's class yesterday. I got there early and watched their Greek lesson.
Greek Teacher: Who remembers what this song is about?
Riley: It's about bees that work very hard. They work hard to make their honey. Then a bear eats it! They get mad.
GT: Bravo, Riley
Another kid in Roo's class: Why does the bear eat the honey?
Roo's teacher: She made a mistake
Same kid: Oh, she made a mistake!
Different little boy: I LOVE steaks (he even licked his lips)
*I THINK he heard "she made him a steak", but who knows?

Riley are you excited to go see your friend's new house after school?
Yeah! I can't wait to use the bathroom!!
What?
Because it's Purple!
Oh, ok silly.

March-ing On Part 2

Jump in your time machines fellow travelers and let's go all the way back...to mid March! We'll all pretend I totally skipped almost two whole months of posts on purpose so I could do a few cute recap posts. Here we go...

We celebrated two years of marriage and almost seven years together (it'll be seven next month). We rang in this milestone in our usual super cool style...with board games! Cards against Humanity and such, chips and dips and some drinks. It was actually a lovely evening, not in the top ten most romantic nights of my life, but exactly what we were in the mood for. Here's to fifty or so more years!

Right on the heals of Isaac's character day Roo's school had fairy tale character day! It was conveniently the day after Epcot so she had just received her brand new Mulan dress (not that she has any shortage of options before that). I was thrilled that she wanted to be Mulan because I was sure the room would be full of Rapunzels and Belles, but she was bound to be the only Mulan. We found her a white flower from the garden for her hair, gave her some purple eye shadow and red lip gloss and even managed to find her "beads of jade". She looked perfect. Let's face it my kids kick butt at character days!

Scenes from Spring Break

I talked a lot about spring break an earlier post...But let's just sum up here as well. Children's Museum, library, movie nights, board games (Disney Sorry FTW), coloring, car sing-a-longs, play dates!, dress up, out to lunch, Easter decorating, playing "quietly", puzzles, books, running around in the backyard and making a pony at build-a-bear!

We snuck a date night into the mix right at the end our spring break. More board games and adult conversation for us. Good times.

The kids had their first and second night sleeping away from home about a week apart. Their grandparents took them out to dinner, to the Lego movie and then swimming the next morning. They gave them back happy and tired. The next weekend I asked Roo's Bestie's family to watch them so Mike and I could go out. She kindly volunteered to let them sleep over. It was very nice and super weird. It's odd, but when Mike and I are alone I always dream up all these fun things to do and then we end up happily doing nothing. I just always feel the full weight of being tired when I stop moving. It's why I don't stop moving too often if I can help it, so I can keep ignoring the tired. That being said I enjoyed my time off very much almost as much as I missed them.

Miss Roo and I took a stroll through one of the world's biggest Disney Stores and we found her the wig for her Halloween. It was late March and she just happened to demand her skeleton tights. My silly girl. She got compliments all day on them. Then we got home we tried on the whole ensemble. Amazing, right? Now we just have to wait seven months....

And now my friends you have been brought up to the present, hurray!

And Just Like That, The Tables Have Turned...

We built Riley's first ever big Lego set and by we, I mean mostly her. It's a little camper with a bike trailer that comes with a picnic table and grill. Totally adorable. Once it was done, Riley added every Lego mini figure and mega block Barbie figure she owns to this little party by piling them in the camper. Then, I suggest she ask Isaac to borrow one of his boy figures. I fully expected her to trot back to the living room with a ninja or a ghost...Nope.

She returns with mommy and baby dinosaurs! Now it's a scene from Jurassic Park! Dinosaurs pacing outside a camper full of people.

Just like that the dinos had been tamed and the girls were taking turns riding them!

I could not stop laughing! Talk about lemonade from lemons! Life lessons from a 4yr olds Lego imaginings.

If You Give a Mom Some Coffee

If you're unfamiliar with If You Give A Mouse A Cookie it's a wonderful children's book about how granting the Mouse's wish will lead to a string of other demands leading back to the one that started them all.

Here's my version:

If You Give A Mom A Coffee

by: Katie Calahan

If you give a Mom some coffee she's going to want to sit down

So, she'll have to clear the toys off the couch.

If she clears the toys off the couch, she'll need to put them away.

When she puts them away, she'll notice dirty clothes on the kids' bedroom floor

She'll need to put those in the hamper

If she puts the clothes in the hamper she will notice how full it is.

So, she'll start a load of wash.

If she starts a load of wash she'll check the dryer and notice some clean towels

She'll fold the towels and put them in the linen closet.

While she's in the linen closet the air vent above her will give her a chill

That's when she'll remember her coffee

She will go to the kitchen to re-heat her now cold coffee.

While it's reheating she'll notice crumbs on the counter and she'll need to wipe it down.

When she rinses the crumbs off the sponge she'll notice the breakfast dishes.

She'll be washing the dishes when she hears the washer stop.

She'll need to move the clothes to the dryer and put a new load in the wash.

When she finishes moving the laundry, the dog will need to go out.

While taking the dog out, she will notice the deep freezer and start planning dinner.

She will go back to the kitchen to check the fridge for dinner ingredients.

While she's in the kitchen she'll remember her coffee again and reheat it

Once it's warm she'll take a sip and someone will ask "What's for lunch?".

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 29

Day 29: I'm grateful that my kids are so gosh darn entertaining! It comes in especially handy when there home from school and over excited for several days in succession.

Me: Did you have a super day Riley?
Roo:Yes!
Me: What did you do?
Roo: I did everything you can think of!
Me: You did? Did you sing a song?
Roo: Yes. But I didn't sing TURKEY songs I sang "Who's Here Today"
Me: Oh, was everyone at school today?
Roo: Yes
Me: That's good!
Roo: Why?
Me: I like your school friends. They're all nice.
Roo: Um, no. They're not.
Me: They're not? Who isn't nice?
Roo: (thinking) All of them sometimes, but when they look into the future they're all nice.

While painting turkey plates:
Me: Here's brown Riley
Roo: Oh, for the turkey?
Me: Yes
Roo: For the live turkey? Because live turkeys are brown.
Me: Um, yes.
Roo: And pink for the dead ones.
(laughter)
We did not make any dead turkeys if you're wondering.

Me: Tonight we're going to toast S'mores!
(later that day)
Roo: (Obviously haven gotten her wires crossed) Mom, When are we going to smoke cigarettes?
Me: What?!? You mean, make S'mores?
Roo: Yeah, is it time?
Me: Not yet.
(Even later that day)
Roo: Mom, When are we going to smoke cigarettes?
Me: Make S'mores, honey
Roo: Yeah, is it time?
Me: Not yet.
(That night)
Roo: We're going to smoke cigarettes!
Me: Make S'mores, honey!
Roo: Yeah!

In Home Depot Roo and I got separated from Mike and Isaac.
Me: Riley, do you see Daddy?
Roo: Um...no
Me: Me either...hmmm...Maybe he went to the Christmas lights
Roo: No, I know where he is!
Me: (Looking around) Where?
Roo: (without hesitation) He got arrested by an old guy,
Me: (laughing) I don't think so
Roo: Yeah, he got arrested by Old Nick

Me: Isaac, check the living room and see if there are any toys that need to be put away
Isaac: It looks like Santa came early. There's a stocking full of toys in here.
Me: Oh, I gave Riley an extra one to play with. Just set it in her room.
Roo: Yeah, Santa had to come early. He had to come to early because he got fired and he needed to tell us!

30 Days of Gratitude: Days 8, 9, & 10

Day 8: I'm grateful for bad jokes! Like milk through the nose in front of a crowded lunch table stuff. The jokes that reassured you that your once charming boyfriend had truly transformed into someone's dad (oh, the puns!). Those terrible jokes that snap you out of reality for just a moment. The jokes that really should be followed by wah-waaah, but you're so taken aback you laugh. You're not really laughing at at the joke, but at the person who actually said that out loud! Those jokes.

Day 9: I'm grateful for dress up clothes and the silly girls who wear them!

Day 10: Childhood best friends! Honestly, what would we do without them? You'd never make it to adulthood without them. I feel as blessed by my own as I do by my children's. I mean, is there anything more wonderful? No judgments, no expectations just fun and silliness. Just thinking about it makes me want to watch The Sandlot (or it could be the s'mores we had the other night-I'm thankful for them too).

Conversations With Cute

This is a picture of Miss Roo excitedly perched on top of the box containing the cotton candy machine we got for her birthday. I'm pretty sure she was just planning to live there until the party.

Playing in the bathtub:
Roo: Mommy, be a mermaid too!
Me: But if I'm a mermaid who will be the mommy?
Roo: It's ok. One of us can be the mommy mermaid and one of us can be the baby.
(pause) (very thoughtfully)That's how life changes, you know.

On the potty
Roo: Mom?
Me: What?
Roo: How come the poop always goes with pee?
Me: Excuse me?
Roo: They're like sidekicks!
(I'm laughing)
Roo: What's a sidekick?

After dropping my phone and detaching the case she apologetically fixes it.
Roo: It has an ah-touch-ment, Mom. And I touched it
Translation- It has an attachment and I attached it!

To distract her while brushing her hair I asked her to spell her name
Roo: R-I-L...
Me: E
Roo: (Whispering) It has a quiet e, but it's there.
Me: Ok then what?
Roo: (suspicious I wasn't listening) Um, it has a quiet e! I told you.
Me: No, I meant Y
Roo: Um, that's how you say Y in french
Me: A quiet e?
Roo: Yes!

On the way in the door of school on the first day Riley was greeted by several friendly folks, but was uncharacteristically non-responsive to their greetings. When I asked her why she was so quiet she said:
I have...a lot right now, Mom. And I'm...um..not...open right now.
I clarified that she was thinking about things and didn't want to talk what a nut!

On a school day in the morning in the car:
Roo:Hand me my back pack as soon as I'm buckled.
Me:Ok
Roo:It's just very important that I hold it.
Me: Ok, here (handing it to her)
Roo: Now shut the door!
Me: Ok (starting to wonder...)
(As soon as I sit behind the wheel)
Roo:Don't turn around mom
That's when I knew she was up to something. She was trying to sneak Snow White into school with her! Silly girl.

This morning after two pieces of cinnamon raisin french toast, two pieces of turkey bacon, orange juice and a bite of my eggs.
Roo:Can I have a piece of your bacon?
Me:You had your own bacon already
Roo:Mom! I can't find evil on an empty stomach
How could I say no to that?

Father's Day Crafts & Cards Recap

We did a really simple craft for the kids' gifts to Mike. Duct tape frames, which are exactly what they sound like. They gave the kids simple wooden frames and a pile of decorative duct tape to choose from.

Those were the crafts and these are the cards:

Click the images to enlarge. The front says: "First Class Dad" and he drew a plane. My favorite it the one that says: "Dad doesn't like" to which Isaac wrote "Being yelled at by Mom." Nice! It's no Sci-Fi haiku, but he definitely spent some time on it.

Here's Riley's card it had a few pages. The front matched my father's day banner. There was a photo page and a foot print/poem page and then some original artwork.

Good Work, Kiddos!