De-railed?!?

Last night was horrendous! She was up every hour. She went down easy at 8:20p and got up at 11, 12:45, 2, 3:20, 4:50, 6. I'm taking notes during our 10day plan. Night one went so well and then last night was horrible.

Mike pointed out that kids are always making progress and then regressing. I started wondering if Riley was missing nursing during the day so much she was getting up every hour because she knows I nurse her at night. I started letting her nurse every other time by the 3rd time. It was a victory in that Mike and I worked as a team and did not give up and bring her to our bed.

I was very tired by the time her first nap rolled around and anxious that she wouldn't go down and everything would get increasingly difficult all day. She went down rubbing her eyes at 9:02 and screamed for 30min. I changed her, nursed her and rocked her and put her back down. She slept 9:40-11:08 which is pretty respectable.

By second nap I was running on fumes. I tried to put her down at her usual 1:30 and she cried off and on until 1:58. I was so relieved when she fell asleep, but it only lasted 30min. According to the book anything under an hour doesn't count. I went in and rocked and nursed her and put her back in the crib. I stood next to the crib stroking her hair for 10min. Nothing worked. I gave up. At this point I felt like a failure and was completely homicidal because of sleep deprivation and frustration. I kept thinking if I have to disconnect the doorbell and make the boys spend the day in a tent in the yard to get a descent nap out of this baby, so help me...At that point Mike asked me if I was "giving up" on Riley's nap and I burst into tears and told him I needed a break.

I went into the bedroom and shut the door and cried myself to sleep. I laid there crying about what a miserable failure I was and how Riley would never sleep through the night again and all the while I worried Mike would forget to give Riley a snack or to read with Isaac. When I woke up 2hrs later poor Mike was juggling both kids and a work call. I opened the door and heard him said "Oh, good she's awake!"

Everything got done in my absence and although I continue to be hard on myself at least my resolve to stick it out with the plan was back.