The End of the Magic?

2008, Our first Christms together

Isaac was just turning 5 when I came into his life. He was just leaving toddlerhood and full of enthusiasm for everything. While enthusiasm is just a part of his personality what elicits it has changed over the years. We used to load the DVR with Christmas movies all December long and watch them together. We used to decorate Santa's cookies together every year. He used to start his Christmas list before his birthday in November.

I really enjoyed my first Christmas as a mother. I really loved having an appreciative recipient for all my Christmas spirit (as a former elf it is considerable). I did find it a little sad that he was all by himself Christmas morning opening gifts. It just didn't seem like Christmas without a sibling. I guess Santa heard me because by the next Christmas Isaac had a sister.

Christmas 2009, Ta-da our tree

It was different the next year, but Riley was only three months so we still did the movie marathon, cookie decorating, tree decorating, Santa visits and all that fun stuff. It was a good year. It very much the Isaac show despite it being baby's first Christmas. I was glad to have a "big kid" to do crafts and cookies with.

Christmas 2010 decorating the tree with gusto

Last year Riley was 15mo old and much more aware. It was my first Christmas with two kids to do Christmasy stuff with. It was a really fun year, but I had no idea it was the last year Isaac would fully engage. He participated in everything with an ear to ear grin and a heart full of faith in all the magic of Christmas. Meanwhile Riley was vaugely aware.

This year's sour reaction to a Santa gift.

I know what they say about how fast children grow up and where expectations get you, but my fond hope was that Riley and Isaac would have one or two Christmas where they experienced the magic together. Their 7yr age difference means they'll never go to the same school or experience certain things for the first time together I understand that. I just didn't know this was the year it would start for Riley and end for Isaac.

This year Isaac had to be dragged from his room for the two or three Christmas movies I got him to watch. Even though they were picked for him (Unaccompanied Minors, Home Alone, Home Alone 2). He was rushing through tree decorating to get back to his computer or DS or whatever. He just isn't this little boy marvelling at the tree any more.

I already told you how he rushed through cookie decorating even with 3 other kids still hard at work. He visited Santa and was very worried about the naughty list situation. This year I talked to him about choosing to always hear the bell ring (Polar Express) and how I've visited Santa every year for 29yrs (even when I was single) even if it was just to say hello and thank you. I never let go of the magic of the whole experience but it's clear he has.

He was out for number one all weekend. He opened the Santa gift he suspected was his main request and turned his nose up at everything else. He opened that awesome ball blaster weapon and said "I didn't ask for this." When his turn came around again he opened a light up glow in the dark Slinkey and tossed it aside with a frown. I was heartbroken. I busted my butt making this Christmas special despite budget constraints with the wedding approaching and my limitations from surgery in November and now he was completely ungrateful. He'd turned his nose up at all the pre-Christmas activities and now he was acting like a brat. I was over forcing either of the kids (Riley was happily playing and didn't need any more toys at the moment) to open gifts.

It was the last piece of evidence I needed Christmas was forever changed for Isaac. There would be no bright eyed wonder next year, just greedy scanning of the packages under the tree. After a break we reconvened to finish opening gifts. Largely, due the fact that we didn't have batteries for Isaac's robot dog he engaged and was smiley and polite for the rest of the gifts.

It goes by so fast, especially because I missed his early Christmases. He'll be ten next year and in the fourth grade (woah!!) and honestly that's when I expected the shift. It was just hard timing, but it makes me appreciate how little Riley is. Riley has lots of magical Christmases left and lots of wonderful friends her own age to appreciate my baking and crafts for the next few years.