What Exactly is Your Persuasion on the Big Man?

I was absolutely correct about last year being my last chance for a picture of both kids with Santa. I was prepared so I didn't even flinch when Isaac opted out this year. I know the magic isn't completely gone for him, but it's not cool to take Santa photos when you're a twelve year old boy. He still fretted about being on the nice list when his yearly video message from Santa arrived. He was still up for almost all our Christmas traditions. The boy lives for Norad tracks Santa.

Last year Isaac started gently questioning Santa. I told him he was free to believe whatever he chooses, but I reminded him it sure is a lot more fun when you believe. I also told him that no matter what he believes he has no right to take it away from anyone else. That was all I needed to say, he never questioned me again. I've always told my kids that anyone who dresses as Santa is doing it to not to trick anyone, but to make children happy. Santa's busy and a lot of kind people give him a hand during the holidays.

The silver lining is that Santa pictures are now a girls' tradition. There'a nothing like quality time with my little girl. She wrote her own list this year. Santa read all four items with a huge grin on his face. She was a bit star struck, but they had a lovely visit. It's nice now that she can remember a few Christmases. I look forward to all the Christmas magic ahead of her.

I'm Not a Fan of 5...

I got a phone call yesterday that Miss Roo's glasses were ready to be picked up. It was good news, but five had already proven to be an extremely difficult year. I love my kids dearly, but certain phases are painful for everyone involved. The beginning of three certainly comes to mind. I thought we were bracing for Isaac's difficult transition to middle school, but it was smooth sailing. Riley however became melodramatic, mean, dishonest and unpredictable. The world made no sense to me when the behavior started. I know now that I gave her way to much sway with the school transition and her cram packed month of birthday festivities. I just kept waiting for things to "go back to normal." Normal is not static, it is fluid and often changes as soon as you have a handle on it.

I started to feel like I didn't even know this person. I reported things she told me to her teacher only to find out they were completely untrue. So embarrassing, how could I have known when prior to now she had always been truthful? She wasn't so drastically different at home, but I started feeling the old tingling-of-the-Spidey-Senses. I was suddenly overcome with anxiety that Miss Roo was misbehaving at school. Could she be...a bad kid? After everything we went through at the beginning of the school year I thought her strange behavior was over. Wrong-O.

I soon became overwhelmed by her nightly fits at bedtime. To clarify: throwing herself to ground, screaming, kicking, saying nasty things fits, every night. I was blind-sided. I reacted badly at first, feeding into the drama (oops). After a few night I made some adjustments gave her new incentives to go to bed peacefully and enlisted Mike for back up. Once we were out of the woods (phew) at home my Spidy Sense about school grew. Sure enough I went to pick her up thinking we'd grab her glasses on the way home and had my suspicion confirmed.

I arrived as they were finishing up lunch. Roo's greeting was over-enthusiastic and I knew something was up. When I approached her teacher it was obvious something had just gone down. Miss K had an incident report for me to sign, ugh! Apparently, Riley decided she didn't want to eat anything in her lunch except the fruit snacks. Now these are the healthy natural fruit snacks, but they are still "a treat" and Miss K told her (as Mom would have) that she needed to eat a few bites of her sandwich first. Riley's response was to throw herself from her chair to the ground so hard she was injured.

I mean really! Who IS this kid? Where did my sweet, logical little problem solver go? I bit my lip and tried not to cry from frustration. Next, even though I knew the answer I asked if this had happened before. I felt sick. I told her about the bedtime issues we'd recently resolved. We agreed we needed to be in communication about the "fit issue." She'd always been such a good kid. I was so frustrated and afraid I'd caused this by putting her in the bad environment, not taking her out sooner or not reacting to it properly when it started. Nonetheless, things had changed it was time for a new strategy. It felt like three all over again, maybe worse.

We went straight home (without a stop for her glasses) and talked about her choices. I said the things I've said a hundred times "Did the fit solve the problem? Did it make things better? Did it make anybody happy?" "You have to use your words to solve problems." And so on. I made a sticker chart so we could keep track of days without fits. I devised a whole reward system with emphasis on the positive reinforcement. I was sure knowing that the teacher and I were communicating would go a long way. I knew we could nip this nasty habit right in the bud if we handled it well.

It's never linear though this growing up stuff. I dropped off her beautiful Frozen themed sticker chart this morning with high hopes, but I know this like everything else will be a process. After school today there was a note instead of a sticker and I was totally bummed. We picked up Riley's glasses on the way home. She looks gorgeous in them, but it's a tangible reminder of all the change.

There's always time to make better choices, Miss Roo. Let's do this.

Conversations With Cute: Endearing Epigrams

During our Disney trip:
Me: Riley do you know the names of Ursula's pets?
Roo: Yeah! Flap Some and Get Some!!
(Flotsam and Jetsam are their names, as in what floats up from a shipwreck)

Roo: Mom, when I grow up I want to be a Disney bus driver!
Me: That sounds like fun, driving people to Disney all day!
Roo: Yeah, I'll be a ballerina, a paleontologist and a Disney bus driver!

Roo: (Washing her hands in the bathroom) Oh...it doesn't come on by itself here...No Disney Magic, huh?
Me: Nope we left that at Disney
Roo: Next time let's catch some (Disney Magic)!

Roo: (Sigh) Mom?
Me: What, Riley?
Roo: I just want to know why my Ariel doesn't come alive and flop around here. (referring to their toys coming alive and moving by Disney magic (aka housekeeping) when we left the hotel)

Me: What did you do at school today?
Roo: Made a letter S snake! With black pola dots.
Me: That sounds awesome
Roo: Yeah. Mom? What does awkward mean?
Me: Not quite right, doesn't fit in.
Roo: Mine is awesome, but my friends were...awkward, but I didn't tell them

Miss Roo recently regained possession of her Barbie Shoes.
Roo: I'll hang on to these shoes!
Me: Good idea, you don't want to loose them now that you have them back
Roo: Yeah! That would be unpleasant.

Me: I need you to clear your place, Riley
Roo: Ugh, stop criticizing!

Riley goes out to visit her dad while he's working in the yard. She runs back into the house and gets a quarter.
Roo:(gives the quarter to her dad) You're working hard, here's a tip

Half pjs half play clothes after nap.
Me: What's going on with your outfit?
Roo: The top half is adorable, the bottom is completely awkward

At her cousin's birthday Riley's aunt opens a new dress
Roo: That's exquisite!
(Various adult react, surprised)
(leaning in closer to her aunt) It's divine.

Playing Barbies in her room
Roo: Ok, concert time! (singing) Let it Go! Let it Go!
(A few minutes go by)
Roo: (singing) I got a bucket! Got a bucket full of sunshine! I got a bucket! Got a bucket! Bucket full of sunshine.

(Last Year's Haunted Hike)

Me: You're going to be good this year, right? You had a fit in the car last year and we almost missed it.
Roo: Yeah (thinks), if you're not good at the Haunted Hike Jack will tell Santa!
Me: You're right they totally know each other.
Roo: Yeah, they totally know each other because Jack needed a hat.

Conversations with Cute: Video Edition 2014

If you want to see previous cuteness click here: Three Year Old Video Interview and Last Year's Video.

What's your favorite color?
Red, Pink & Purple
Expanding her color horizons a bit

What's your favorite toy?
The penguin toy at my school.
What does it do?
It's a bobble head, You have to bobble it's head. It's a bobble head, when I pet one.

What's your favorite fruit?
My favorite fruit is...ah Dragon Fruit
He Dad brought one home the store the other day, the kids LOVED it.

What's your favorite tv show?
Everything is awesome.
Everything is awesome is not a tv show, Goose. It's from a movie. Is it Wild Kratts or Dora? Something with episodes.
Dora the Explorer.
(Daddy opens the door and Roo tells him he's going to be on the video)

What's your favorite food to eat for lunch?
I need to think a lot...steak (big smile)
It's news to me, We give it to her now and then, but she's never very excited about it.

What's your favorite clothes to wear?
I like to wear my Rapunzel dress. Yeah because I'm princess Rapunzel.

What's your favorite game to play? Is it the cupcake game?
Yes!!

What's your favorite snack?
Bread and cheese sticks

What's your favorite animal?
I like a sea otter

What's your favorite song?
Everything is Awesome!
(From the Lego Movie)

What's your favorite book?
Uh...bully goat
Llama Llama and the Bully Goat

Who's your favorite person to play with?
Savannah

What's your favorite food to eat for dinner?
(I have no idea what she said at first)
Isn't it chicken nuggets?
Chicken nuggets and meat
(Odd that she tacked meat in general on there)

What's your favorite thing to do outside?
Push the big blue ball into the slide so I can push it out again. I can slide down and push it out again.

What's your favorite thing to drink?
Um...Sprite
(She had her first Sprite last Christmas and hasn't had one since. Must have made an impression.)

Where's your favorite place to go?
Neverland

What do you like to do before bed?
Frangoline and the Midnight Dream I like to read that a lot!

What's your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?
Um..pancakes

What was your favorite thing you got for your birthday?
The Cupcake Game

What do you want to be when your all grown up?
A ballerina and a paleontologist. Paleontologists have to very serious.
Are you very serious?
No.
Do ballerinas have to be serious?
No.

Ok, look at Mommy, smile and say I'm 5!
I'm 5!

Five Year Check-Up!

First of all as much as I could live at Disney forever, it sure is nice to get back to normal! Riley's dinosaur friend in the front office was glad to have her back at school!

Right on the heals of our trip we had Miss Roo's five year check up! I knew she had her last round of shots for a long while, coming up. We discussed this as always in the 48hrs prior. She was pensive the whole morning and unusually quit. By the time I picked her up that afternoon to head to her appointment she was almost giddy. "I'll see you later, guys! I have to go get my shots! I'm going to get stickers and lollipops!" It was adorable, but not as adorable as when we walked into the doctor's office and she told the lady and the desk in her most excited voice "I'm ready for my shot!" The lady behind the desk laughed and insisted Roo give her a big high five.

Miss Roo is growing steadily, but is only in the 10th percentile for her age. Small for her age, but perfectly proportioned height to weight just like her mom. It's funny because she doesn't seem smaller than the other kids in her class. I only had two "concerns" going in: 1) Hemangioma 2) Vision. He checked her "baby button" and said it was breaking down and had become calloused. He recommend we put lotion on it at night.

Sidebar: A few days later Roo was in my room telling me a story: "One day I was trying to wash my hands and I thought the lotion was soap by accident! Ewww. I had to wash it off and start again! So Dun-Dun!" She did the funny-est gesture when she said the last part too. Super dramatic ending, hilarious.

He did agree with me that her eye was rolling in enough to cause concern just from observing her since he'd been in the room. He also did a simple exam and concluded "The left one rolls in significantly and the right one rolls in slightly as well." Yeesh. With both of her parents having vision problems and wearing glasses in childhood it was bound to happen. Unfortunately, the recent issues with Roo's now former school have fostered some serious trust issues for me so I do not relish the thought of finding a new doctor.

Then it was time for her last two shots until she turns eleven! She was raring to go. Dr. Jay told her that she could have 3 stickers AND 3 lollipops if she was brave and didn't cry. She was pretty excited. I pulled the long sleeve shirt she had insisted on wearing off her arms. I left it around her neck and turned a bit and said "Now you have a cape!" (we've always referred to getting shots as "getting your superpowers" in our house). She hopped up on my lap and I said "I know you don't need it, big girl, but I'm going to give you a gentle hug until it's done." She really didn't need the gentle hug. She sat still and only uttered a tiny "ouch" and immediately confirmed that didn't count as crying. "No Ma'am, it's ok to say ouch." She said ouch one more time and then it was over.

She hoped down and adjusted her shirt before I blinked. Dr Jay commented "Almost no one gets three lollipops, good job Riley." There was a quick high five as she had important business to attend to. She practically sprinted down the hall. She chose a Snow White sticker, Sofia the first sticker and a Sleeping Beauty sticker. Then she chose her three lollipops and humored Mom for a picture of my brave girl. As always I let her have a celebratory lollipop right away. She earned it.

Somebody's "A Whole Hand" Years Old

This year in lieu of my usual theme-a-poloza in honor of her birth I told Roo I'd take her on a birthday adventure. I brought Frozen pull apart cupcakes to school. I also made a special balloon run to surprise her before the class "party" (more Frozen, of course). Since we didn't have an official party theme I wanted her birthday shirt to be something not to fussy. Something fun rather than super girly. So I got "If you (picture of a mustache) I'm five!" from little hipster tees on Etsy. The crown with the sparkly 5 came out of a birthday card from grandparents, when your birthday's so early in the school year teachers rarely have it together enough to have a crown for you and for Roo that would be unacceptable.

We have a big family and a lot of close friends and without a party we wanted to make sure they didn't miss out on a chance to see the birthday girl on her special day. I skipped elaborate invites and sent a simple digital one letting everyone know which coffee shop we'd be hanging out in that morning and inviting them to swing by. We had a great morning, there was lots of love.

We also revealed that we'd be taking Miss Roo and her best-ie (whose birthday is 20 days later) to Disney. A princess-tastic birthday trip complete with princess make-overs and dinner in the castle! She was a bit overwhelmed at the time, but as the day wore on and it sunk in she got more and more excited.

After nap I gave her the last two presents from Mom and Dad. Isn't she stunning in that Elsa dress? She decided to wear that for her dinner with the princesses, can you blame her? Wow. Totally worth the website stalking it took to get it and the months of secrecy while it hung in my closet waiting for the big day! She also got an Ariel bed tent, is there anything cooler than sleeping in a tent and your own bed at the same time? I think not. It was a great day for me too. No frantic cleaning, no huge party to orchestrate or clean up and tons of quality time with Roo. We just played with new toys and hung out. Then after dinner she donned new jammies and another birthday crown and I put five candles in the four leftover cupcakes from the day before. We sang and after a few tries she blew them out. I can't imagine what was left to wish for...

Bumps in the Road

This week didn't run as smoothly for the kids as last week. Nothing earth shattering, just not smooth. Isaac mistakenly went to the wrong class, but everybody has to do that once. He also took a spill off of his bike. You know how they say most accidents happen close to home? Yup, it was just up the block. He really enjoys ridding his bike to school. The independence has already done him good, I see him trying things on his own and taking responsibility more. When he came home Thursday he was obviously attempting to break the sound barrier (which is fine on an empty bike trail), but when he exited the trail into our neighborhood he didn't slow down. He went down the incline to fast, kicked the pedal backward to hard and derailed his bike chain. His bike flipped over, he tore his pants and skinned his knee.

He was shaken up, his pants are unsalvageable and his chain needed to be reattached, but otherwise he's fine. If Mike and I weren't 100% confident in his ability to get to and from school he wouldn't be ridding his bike. We know he can do this safely on his own. He's blessed to live so close to his school and have a bike trail from our neighborhood that runs part of the way to school. We live in a great neighborhood that's always abuzz with families walking to and from the elementary school and even though I don't know everyone's names, I know we all look out for each other's kids.

Once Isaac was cleaned up with Neosoporin on his scraps we had a serious talk about bike safety. I told him to think of it this way "You can drive 70mph down the highway for miles and miles, but when you hit the exit ramp if you don't slow your car down to 40mph you can hurt or kill someone or yourself." He fixed and tested his bike chain this morning by himself (and was beaming with pride). We discussed bike safety again this morning (with Mike this time) and made a concrete plan for where to meet us if it's raining to hard to bike home. I think that overturned bike and scrapped knee were a good reality check. I'm certainly proud of him for not giving up on ever ridding a bike again (as he would have in his younger days), but viewing it instead as a learning experience. I told him "It was caused by your bad decision, which is great news because it means you can prevent it from ever happening again." I don't think he realized how grown up he's becoming until he got a chance to dust himself off from that spill.

Miss Roo's week wasn't all sunshine and roses either. She was out of sorts most mornings this week. A fire drill during nap earlier in the week (thanks guys!) brought us the night of 100 meltdowns and threw off her schedule. She's been cranky, mean and not herself. Thursday morning was by far the worst. She refused to get up. Then she didn't want to get dressed and then her breakfast was all wrong. There were tears over the way I did her hair and not letting her bring toys to school. When we were ready to get in the car I had to enlist Mike to carry her kicking and complaining to her car seat because she wanted to play on the computer before school (that has NEVER been allowed for either kid). We chatted on the way to school and I tried all my usual tricks: made sure she had her listening ears on, asked her to throw bad attitude away, talked to her about all the fun things she was going to do, and even sang a song. When we got to school she had a fit in the parking lot (so embarrassing). I was sure she would get to her classroom and be all smiles (it had never failed before). Instead she had to be coaxed into the room for several minutes at which time she laid down on the floor and did her best Gandalf impression.

I hugged her and encouraged her to make good choices. I was completely certain that my leaving would inspire better behavior. For the most part she did alright from what I hear, but she had a bad note at the end of the day. It said "She had a lot of trouble cleaning up." That was a surprise because obviously she knows the drill and is usually a great helper. Then one of her friends told me she was crying during outside time. Riley claimed that she "missed Mommy." At the end of the school day on the playground? Nope, don't think so. One of her other friends chimed in that "It was because she said a bad word." The teacher in the room at the time wasn't the same teacher who had been on the playground with her, but she had heard about it. Roo and her buddy were trading silly insults "cheese buggers", etc and Roo apparently called out "ass". I imagine that it got quite a reaction from her friend and she repeated it to the delight/horror of her classmates. She was taken aside by the teacher who addressed how inappropriate the language was at which point Roo cried because she was afraid the teacher would tell me what she said.

Having gotten to the bottom of things I am certain she was overtired all day. I'm a little stunned that she used that word at all, but she was very rational about it on the way home. I suggested silly things to call our friends like "cotton headed ninny muggins" or "silly gilly gumble" and reminded her that no game that hurts someone's feelings is a good idea. That even if she didn't mean to hurt someone's feelings that's not a nice word and it isn't allowed at school. She chimed in saying "Yeah, no potty words at school." I explained that no one is allowed to use language like that at school not the parents, not the teachers, nobody. Then I asked her if she's ever heard a princess say that word. She hadn't and we agreed if princesses don't say it Roo shouldn't either.

Just like with her brother I wanted her to recognize her poor choices and then learn and move on. We didn't dwell on it after that conversation and I made a point of getting her to bed early that night. This morning she was herself again. Bubbly and reasonable (for an almost 5yr old). She promised to help clean up and only use nice words at school today.

To my independent, problem solving children: these are just bumps in the road, they won't be the last. I'm proud of you.

Kindergarten Have We Got A Spot...Or Not?!?

The Waiting Place...
...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No

You may remember me mentioning in this summer wrap up that enrollment for the 2015/2016 school year kindergarten class started in the beginning of August. I fired off my application that same afternoon. After a week or two enrollment closed and I inquired when we would hear something. I was told I'd hear by mid-September. So, I kept waiting. Today I got the news that Miss Roo is on the wait list for a spot in her current school's kindergarten class. So....we keep waiting I suppose.

It's anticlimactic to wait only to be told to wait some more for sure. That's the way the cookie crumbles. What makes me sad is that during these first weeks of school I am forced to think about splitting up these kids. It breaks my heart. I love Riley's class so much and so does she. It's traumatic to consider. It's been so hard on everyone losing both the PreK and the VPK teachers, but at least the kids were still together. It's the only reason some of parents didn't follow our beloved teachers to their new campus. We wanted the kids to stay together.

I understand most children leave their preschool friends behind to go to kindergarten, but it's a big transition. Being on the wait list isn't the worst news, but being in limbo isn't anyone's first choice. Mike keeps telling me not to worry, she'll get a spot or she won't. I'm just sad to leave the kids, parents and some of the staff behind. Growing up is one thing, but this feels like a break-up. We're parting ways with so many people we care about.

It's still up in the air,
And very confuzled
We'll just have to see where
When all is un-muddled and un-fuzzled
The wubulous kindergarten journey of Miss Roo unfolds
And the places she'll go...to school.

So Long, Summer Camp!

Miss Roo

Monday: Dragons

Some cardboard, masking tape, a few glittery brads, and sliver spray paint later, Lady Riley! Much thanks to big brother for lending her the sword and shield.

The cutest knight in all the land!

Tuesday: Princesses & Pirates

Riley went as Zarina the pirate fairy. I had this costume in the closet for Christmas, but I had to let her have it when I heard they were having a pirate day. Can you blame me? The adorable was off the charts.

Wednesday: Circus, but she stayed home to see Rio 2

Thursday: Superheros!

For superhero day we decided Riley should be Princess Presto from Super Why. I re-purposed her Princess Sofia dress and shoes. Riley made me promise not to anything I couldn't undo (I wouldn't have of course). I printed tiny Princess Prestos to cover the Sofias on the dress and shoes. I made some green accents with ribbon and safety pins. I used fabric glue to attach green sequins to her purple star wand. She already had a cardboard Princess Presto crown from a cereal box. Mike drew the Super Why logo on a spare purple curtain to make her cape. It turned into a bigger project than I imagined, but she looked amazing.

Friday: Favorite Character

Riley went as Princess Belle. She had a lovely last day.

In order for Riley to continue to continue on to kindergarten at her school she has to be drawn in their lottery. I've know that was the procedure since we enrolled in PreK3. When I got home I had an email informing me that the application process for kindergarten for the 2015/2016 had begun. I was stunned! Needless to say I submitted her application lickety-split. Unfortunately, along with the dose of suspense turning in her application brought there was certainly a dose of reality for me. When did she get so grown up?

Isaac

Wednesday was a big day this week. I kept Riley home from school and we all went to see Rio 2. It was the last free kids movie of the summer. I told the kids that they had to earn the movie and if they where super listeners we'd get snacks at the movie. My children have never been to the concession stand with their parents before so this was huge. During summer kids movies they have a special deal, the kids get popcorn, fruit snacks and a small drink. The trays have little dinosaurs on them! They felt so special having their own popcorn to season as they pleased. Isaac dumped the nacho cheese seasoning on. I also smuggled in a small candy bar for each of them. As we were leaving the kids were given free Guardian of the Galaxy comic books, it made Isaac's day! After nap that same day I took them out for free root bear floats too.

Week Nine Video Wrap Up

Weekly Wrap Up Questions
1. What did you learn that you didn't know before?
2. What was the worst part of your week?
3. What was the best part of your week?
4. What was your favorite meal?
5. What was the weather mostly like?
6. What was your favorite activity/project?
7. How many books did you read?
8. What were they called?
9. Which book was your favorite?
10. Where are some places you went this week?

Thanks, Mom

Today I woke up to a mysteriously injured hip. The old rage, at everything unfair, was inflamed as my hip joint. I had rested after a long week of birthday fun. I rested more than I normally would and still I woke up in agony. Granted, I ran around quite a bit this week and then took the kids to a theme park over the weekend (in celebration of Isaac getting into his first choice magnet middle school), but 48 full hours later the pain was all in one joint. Do you know what it's like when your "good hip" hurts? Oye. Unfortunately, I have to severely limit my use of over the counter anti-inflammatory medicine so as not to upset another medical issue. It made for a long weepy morning and I am no wuss.

I ran around and wore myself out, than ran around with the kids (in the wheelchair) and I rested almost a full 12hrs prior to today. I was fine for a a whole day. The day it didn't matter. The day it was up to me what I got done. Now, the day after that one I get out of bed unable to bear weight on my right leg at all. Minimum doses of anti-inflammatory later, no change. I was frustrated and scared. What if I had really done it? What if my I'd blown out my good hip? It was too terrible to consider.

I confessed the gravity of the situation to Mike, but I wasn't about to give up on my day. Especially, after I gave my ungrateful punk of a body yesterday "off." No dice. I had plans to volunteer at an event at Riley's school. The hip pain would NOT win. It was the same situation I've been through a million times except I wasn't just tired or just in pain I couldn't step down on my good hip. Again, how is this at all fair? I over did it, then rested, then over did it and then rested. How can it hurt this much? Why today?

I babied it earlier in the day. By the time I had to head out I discovered wearing my braces and shoes helped a bit. I sucked it up, and hobbled to Riley's school with more weight on my crutches than either leg. I don't think anyone noticed my wincing or perspiration given all the hustle and bustle. I was able to slide into a tiny chair and craft my way to distraction. It was school-wide hub bub so there was a lot to take my mind off the evil presence in my joint. Nobody seemed the wiser, especially Riley.

I smiled as I guided her classmates through my craft station and the merrily escorted Riley through the others. In my head, however, it was a checklist: Craft One-check, You can do this. Breathe, Craft Two-check, Ok, wrapping it up. Turn in Card-check, Pick up Book-check, Hang in there. Breathe. Pick up Cookie-check and We're outta Here-check. I made it, without cheating Riley or her classmates out of any part of the experience. I got home, dictated some directions and collapsed until bath time.

It wasn't the first time and it won't be the last. It was just a more extreme example. I prefer to fight through pain that comes and goes or can be largely ignored, but when your eyes well up with tears every time you take a step it's a whole other level of pushing through. I suspect, all mothers have a sense that their children have no idea how much they fight and sacrifice for them.

I remember going through some nasty pre-term labor with Riley and a good friend assuring me she'd be happy to recant all I went through to bring this kid into existence when she's an ungrateful teenager. My children have no idea how many times I've wanted to check out and instead found myself in an "above-and-beyond" situation. They shouldn't know about it, not when I can fight and be there. Now and then they need, to know that I need my feet up or a request is just too much at the moment, but I don't want them to ever feel guilty for wanting me around. Someday they won't. I'll never be sorry for overdoing it, if I've been able to make memories with my rapidly growing kids. Now, cleaning is a different story...no one wants basketball sized swollen knees from scrubbing floors and tubs. I pick my battles, not always as well as I should, but I do.

For now happy faces have to be my thanks.

Four Year Check Up

When I told Riley we were going to see Dr. J she said "woohoo." I told her this was a very important check up because she would get her "4yr old super powers" (vaccines). I had to reschedule from last week because of the surgery, but I bet they get that all the time since you schedule the check ups so far in advance.

Miss Roo is in the 19th percentile for height and weight. Inching right along on the old growth chart. We only had one visit in between check ups this year, not bad at all. She's a happy healthy girl. When the big moment came she climbed up in my lap. Dr. J told her there were lollipops and stickers for brave girls. I reminded her about how lucky she was to get her superpowers AND lollipops! Dr. J said you get one lollipop for each poke and an extra one if you're brave and don't cry. Three lollipops AND stickers, Riley was excited to hear that.

I told her I needed to give her a little hug. I held her around the arms just in case, but it wasn't necessary. The Dr and I kept even tones. One poke, band aid time, almost done. Last poke, band aid time, all done!! She hopped right down and headed for the lollipops. She picked out the three she earned and two stickers. She got a Despicable Me minion and a Pickalicious ballerina sticker.

The best part was she got to straight to school afterward and tell her friends all about it! It was adorable how excited her friends were overjoyed to see her. She'd never been late to school before. There were lots of hugs and smiles! It was heart warming. My big brave girl.

Huge thanks to my Mom for the ride and for running back to drop of her blanket. It was so nice to be able to visit with Riley's teacher for a minute. I felt beck to normal for a minute.

A Good Fit

I feel like Jane Goodall, but I'm observing baby nerds. Ten year old boys in their natural habitat, building with Legos and discussing computer games. Old enough to care about impressing each other, but not cool enough to succeed.

These are my son's peers in every way. This is the first time I am on hand to witness him "fitting in". Their social aggressiveness is painting him as the quiet one (HA!!).

Build and socialize and savor this moment of being perfectly matched. Their conflicts arise and dissipate so naturally. Like tiny waves of testosrone breaking, most often, on a shore of laughter. Delightfully discovering commonalities among a group of uncommons.

It makes me wonder when the first time I felt socially matched was. My first impulse is to say the drama office backstage in high school. Honestly, I probably did "fit" better there than anywhere else at that time, but I think the place where I felt the euphoric sense of being with people who understood me (and part of me hates to admit it!) was the teen lounge in the orthopedic hospital where I "grew up."

Don't get me wrong I'm not opting for the segregation of the disabled (although I could probably make a compelling case for teenagers!). I've always been quite at ease around the non-gimpy population. There's just so much pressure in adolescence. It was nice to find myself around people who "get it." That old elephant got to take some time off. We just existed in our microcosm without stares, tiresome explanations or being told how "brave" we were. There was a peace. We had drama over boys, broke rules and stayed up late.

When the slumber party ended I went back to being the "one" who walks funny and that was ok. I remember feeling at home with my nerdy video store "family" later and much later with my mommy group, but nothing touches the lounge. Perhaps it resonates louder in these days when the changes in my kids make my path a place full of opportunities again. What kindred spirits will line the road on the next leg of my adventure?

First Day of Preschool!!

She was too excited to sleep last night, but she sprang out of bed happily. I got to wake her up for a change. We'd laid out her clothes last night and her backpack was already packed by the door. While she ate breakfast I packed her lunch and two healthy snacks. I would have loved to do it last night, but our fridge is broken so I had no way to keep a whole lunchbox cold. She did ask at least 3 times if she could go back to bed, but other than that was very chipper.

We were out the door on time and early enough to school to wonder around confused for a bit. Signed in and off to play she barely waved to me before she was gone. Sigh, bless her independent little soul. As further confirmation that she'd be alright I bumped into her little friend going out the door. It's always nice to have an old friend your first day at a new place.

I came home teary-eyed to deal with fridge repairs, errands and the other kid. It's just that kind of surreal morning where my world has changed forever and everyone else is just going about the same old same old. I felt the same way the day I got my acceptance letter to college. Everything is different forever, but only for me. Strange.

I can't wait to hear about her cubbie, her cot, her new friends and her teachers! I still remember some happy pre-school times. Hazy images of my pink lunchbox, monkey bars and a Halloween party.

"t"s Crossed & "i"s Dotted

More then getting the offspring out of the house, their summer plans are milestones this year. I enjoyed having summer camp at home last summer, but this year my birdies will spend much more time out of the nest. As of this week the kids are all signed up/turned in/registered/deposited/squared away/sorted/set for the summer. There will be camps for big brother. He'll be splitting his summer between two different summer camps to make the most of their sciency offerings. He's been waiting a million years to be old enough for the Lego robotics course and his time has finally arrived! He's top dog now, going into 5th grade in the fall. So exciting! There will be preschool for Little Miss. Now that it's official all there is left to do is wait.

In just under a month things will be different forever. Emotionally, logistically and financially. There's no going back. Riley will be in school five days a week and Isaac will finish elementary school. My children are growing up. I will be driving them to opposite sides of town this summer instead of them being five minutes away. I will be missing my little Roo like crazy now that she'll have a big kid schedule. I'll have to pack two lunches starting this summer. With kindergarten and middle school on the horizon reality is not so much setting in as smacking me in the face.

With the water fowl lined up for the kids' plans I feel a lot of pressure to "figure it all out". What will I do with the opportunity to do more? What will it be like...For now I'm hoping to get some pressing medical issues tended to and go back to yoga. I'm not imagining any huge changes right away. I'm not worried about the kids at all, just me. I know we've made all the right decisions and the kids will have a lot of fun while learning and growing this summer. I plan to make the most of our time together too. I've written as many free activities as I could squeeze on the calendar in addition to their weekly schedules. I'm looking forward to the renewed sense of appreciation that time apart brings. I'm also, as ever, looking forward to our next adventure.

Preschool countdown, bah-na-ba-ba-bah!

Treasured Moments

A tragedy occurred and sucked all the oxygen from the world. A dear friend lost her child. She was 18 and starting college in the fall. She hadn't done anything wrong. She's just gone. It hurts me on every level as a mother, a friend and a human being. I started typing a long winded post as I wept into my keyboard, but I changed my mind. This isn't the time or place to grieve. We were lucky enough to spend the day with our little friend while his parents attended his sister's funeral.

These kids have known each since they were a few weeks old, but they're growing up and seeing each other less. A whole day together was such a gift. When I told Riley we would be spending the day with our friend she said "That's so special, Mom! That is specialing me out!!" It was wonderful.

Instead of focusing on the despair, I watched my favorite kids play on the playground. It was a beautiful sunny day (even if jackets were required). In a matter of days they'll start going their separate ways, but not today! Today they laughed and played. Today they enjoyed each other. That's the only way to survive being a parent, one happy playground moment to the next.

The Pre-School Precipice

I toured a preschool today. It was entirely different than the kindergarten last week. I felt more confident and not at all out of place. It was their job to impress me. I didn't worry much. It would work out or it wouldn't. I was hoping it would go well, but I knew I'd figure it out. I've been spoiled for a long time which makes a difficult task that much more frustrating. You simply can not replace the irreplaceable. You can only move forward even if it's at a limping pace.

When I did my research I was optimistic. The phone call that followed confirmed this was a possible option. I even spoke to a few parents who have/had kids in this program.
Their website describes them thus:

The [Someone I've Never Heard Of]Approach guides children’s learning through the use of a negotiated curriculum directed by the interests of the child, with an emphasis on ongoing projects. This model is based upon the following; children must have some control over the direction of their learning, must be able to learn through the experiences of touching, moving, seeing, and hearing, and must have endless ways and opportunities to express themselves.

I arrived right on time for my tour. Most of my questions had to do with class size and logistics. The kids seemed happy and engaged. Most of the classroom had 3-4 small groups working on different activities. The rooms all had wonderful artwork and craft projects on display. It seemed like a fun place to learn. So fun in fact that there wasn't a single opening in Riley's age group. The max class size is 15 and all the rooms had at least two teachers.

I had assumed when I told her on the phone that I was looking for something right away and she didn't immediately tell me that was a problem that there was a spot. It turned out there was one coming up, but nothing now. I deflated like a balloon. I thought the distance and adjustment to a 5 day a week school schedule were going to be the only obstacles. I pressed on with my questions, but felt discouraged. I wanted to run away crying, but I shook her hand and promised to get back to her shortly.

I bemoaned not knowing where Riley would be in a few weeks and then started to go over the options we'd already ruled out in my head. March is an awkward time to change schools because the academic year is almost over and summer session is a few months away. I decided to pick up Riley early again. Part of me was glad she won't be away from me five days a week anytime soon. I like our routine and I enjoy Riley's company so much.

By the end of the day I was able to work out Riley's situation and convince Mike that the distance would actually work in our favor. I'm calling in morning to let her know we're taking the spot. I'm so grateful that I will have a transition period before both my kids are at school all week. Don't you love/hate being on the verge of things changing forever?

Into the Future!

I toured my first choice option for Riley's kindergarten. I was a nervous wreck. I had that feeling I remember from touring my collage while I was still a senior in High School. The feeling of being a fraud. I can't really be thinking about my baby's Elementary school career. It was completely surreal. I fussed over what to wear the entire day before and then thanks to the chilly weather this morning I had to go back to the drawing board. I went from a cute skirt to jeans dressed up with ballet flats and a cute top. Did I look like someone's mom? Did they see me and think I was lost on my way to high school? I don't know...

I arrived about 10mins early which gave me time to wolf down a granola bar and check that Riley had gotten off to school ok. I found the drive pleasant enough. It'll take us about 15-20min each way on school days, but it's not a terrible route. I liked how tucked away the school itself was. A few blocks in from any major roads in a quiet neighborhood. Feeling very much like I'd snuck backstage at a concert I headed up the sidewalk towards the bright red door. I was greeted by a friendly woman who said "Oh! Good Morning, you must be our visitor." She found the teacher I was meeting and I got a quick tour of the whole school (It's not a big place)as the kids settled in. The first thing I noticed was that they allowed the parents to walk their kids into their classrooms and say goodbye. Wonderful. At Isaac's old school they allowed it for the first week of kindergarten ONLY. You were treated like a criminal for even attempting to walk past the front gates after that.

I enjoyed the children in the kindergarten classroom very much. They reminded me of my kids, they were bright and inquisitive and very silly. There a was mutual respect between children and adults I found very reassuring. I loved the intimate class sizes and the way they nurtured creativity. It seemed like a wonderful place to learn. It is still my first choice for Riley, no question.

After a few hours I felt very anxious to get home. Maybe it was that weird feeling of being a fraud or maybe I was just tired. I hated feeling so secure in what will happen down the road, but not a clue where Riley will be next month. More than anything I just missed her. I didn't see her in the morning and than I spent time with all these 5yr olds (who seem huge compared to Roo) and I just wanted to see her. I picked her up early today.

Changes...

Huge changes have been taking place. At least they feel huge to me. We've seen a huge drop in Isaac's over emotional outbursts and Riley's begun to treasure her independence much more. I had been considering kindergarten and middle school options as they're coming up fast. I told myself I'd investigate after our theme park trip. Sure enough the very next day Riley's wonderful daycare provider/teacher informed me she was going to stop providing care at the end of the month. To say I'd been spoiled is an understatement. Riley has been 10min away in the care of someone we consider family. She's gone to school part time with two of her best friends (they've literally known each other their whole lives) for years. I've never had to worry or second guess. All good things, you know.

I found myself contacting a kindergarten and a pre-school in the same day. Woah! Holy emotional mom, Batman! I want to make the right choices for my kids, but it's so hard to accept change when it forces you to see how much they've grown up. The preschool I like considers her an "older 3." Woah! It is a bit of a drive, but I'm trying to work out a schedule so grandma picks up or drops off part of the time. I've had the ideal scenario a long time so I was prepared for compromises (on convenience not level of care). I'm touring the pre-school a week from Wednesday. If we like it she can stay through VPK.

I was very impressed with the kindergarten (over the phone) and I'll go see it on Friday. I know it's a long way off, but it feels important to be prepared. I want her to love school. In the midst of school choosing she informs me in a very grown-up girl way she'd like to get a hair cut. What?!? Riding theme parks rides alone, getting ready for a new school AND a haircut? There's no baby here. Sigh.

Isaac's trickier because I really like his regular teachers and his school in general, but his gifted teacher is a joke. He's bored and I'm afraid he'll burn out. He never has behavior issues when he does science camp over the summers. I'm hoping to find him a magnet program that will engage him like science camp. Middle school is tough and I want him to have common ground with his peers. Again, I know it's a while off, but like Riley's kindergarten it feels like a huge decision. Probably because it is.

I feel like I spend a good deal of time wishing my kids would just "grow up" and a significant amount of time wishing I could keep them the way they are longer. It's strange that I'll have one going into kindergarten and one going into middle school soon. I was so new to parenting when Isaac started kindergarten. Now he's getting ready to finish elementary school all together. Where did all that time go? Any day now he'll be dating and asking to borrow the car...

Kindergarten

4th Garde