I should rest, but the kids need me. I should walk more around the house, but it's impossible to grab a speeding two year old when your hands are full of a walker. I want to re-organize my room, sleep, work on the wedding details, but instead I'm up early chasing the kids around until bedtime. I often get breakfast, morning snack and lunch for Riley before I ever eat a bite. The line gets blurred. I'm doing for others or doing nothing productive a lot.
I want to do my physical therapy and then take a nap. It never works because Riley sleeps during my therapy and then I feel bad and want to take her outside even though I'm exhausted. Under normal circumstances I'd tough it out a few days and then tag Mike in or call my mom, but it's not a couple of days at this point. I have a hip operation healing, a two year old who manages to be demanding and independent at completely inconvenient times, a 9 year old displaying all the attitude and angst of a teenager and a wedding in just over 2mo.
There are no breaks. I struggle with taking care of me on a normal day, but right now I am failing. I am doing what I have always done, I am pushing through. I just hope I don't do any damage in the process.
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