Future Grandkids

Mike told me as I was dressing Riley this morning that he dreamed about "our house" last night. I distractedly muttered something along the lines of "that's nice" but his expression made me curious. "Was it this house, honey?" I inquired. He informed me that is was not. It was in fact a bigger, two story house near a lake. He said it wasn't always two story that we had build on. This was all interesting, but I didn't see what the big deal was.

Then he said that it had the "right floors", wood floors. Oh! You see when we first got together we both had dreams about the same house. It had wood floors and lots of sunshine. He saw himself rocking in a rocking chair with a little girl. I saw myself on the floor assembling a crib. When we told each other about the dreams it was the same house. I've actually had distress over the years because of those dreams. When I was pregnant with Riley and still in Mike's tiny two bedroom shoe box of a house I was distraught because it wasn't "right." I was supposed to assemble my baby's crib in the house I saw in the dream. Even looking at our house now (which I love) it came up that the floors weren't "right."

Here I was starting to believe those dreams were just a coincidence without any meaning at all and Mike has a new theory. He dreamed about rocking Isaac's daughter, our granddaughter in that house. Whoa. He says we had the timing wrong. Maybe I was assembling my grand daughter's crib on the floor. Hmmm... Whoa.

So, I'm digesting all this on not a lot of sleep and all emotional about kids having kids on the way to drop Isaac off at camp this morning. I told Isaac that Dad had dreamed about his daughter.

Why does that make you sad, Mom?
Oh, it's not sad that you'll have a baby one day really, but I feel sad to think of you being a grown up with your own family.
(silence)
I won't have one for a long time.
Good. Choose their mother very carefully, when you do. Ok?
Ok. I already have their names.
What?
My kids names, Hubble and Pandora.
(His tone was completely serious and excited)
Well don't forget that their mother will have strong opinions about names too. You may not get to use those.

On the drive home I called Mike laughing to tell him our grandchildren would be Hubble and Pandora. Wow. I think I'll try to persuade him to use those for future pets instead. I think Hubble is a great cat name.

Cheating Dreams

We fell asleep Valentines night watching TV and then I had this dream. I dreamt I was on a train and I had alot of luggage. I was anxious about how I was going to get all the luggage off the train. It was strange to be so worried about something like that in a dream. It was also strange that I had my crutches because I'm almost never disabled in my dreams.
Anyway, I'm riding this train somewhere near Boston and I'm sitting in the back row by myself. After a little while of worrying about all my luggage some guys get on. I think there were three of them, but it was a pretty nondescript group. They sat in the row in front of me expect for the blonde guy. He sat next to me and smiled warmly. I thought he was really cute and at that moment in the dream I wasn't sure if it was ok for me to do something about it.
He offered to carry some of my bags when the train got to the station. I was thrilled. He and his friends got off with my bags. When I was getting off my crutch fell between the train and the platform straight down onto the tracks. I was pretty freaked out. I got lucky and a maintenance guy walked by. I didn't dream the whole process of retrieving it, but I did start to worry that in all this time the stranger I entrusted with my bags had taken off with them.
When I finally got into the station there he was by himself with my bags. I was so relieved. He flashed me another smile and invited me to get some lunch. We're sitting in the little restaurant in the train station and he's sitting next to me on the same side of the table. We're talking and laughing and he says "Are you going to kiss me or what?" Although I didn't realize I was dreaming, I did know the rules were different here. So, I kissed him. It was a really good kiss.
After a few seconds of goofy smiling I decided I had to tell him, but I reasoned that it was ok because the rules were different here. "Listen, I need to tell you something. I'm not single. I have kids." He takes this in and instead of asking me to run away with him like any respectable dream guy, he freaks out. He starts yelling and screaming about how I'm unbelievable, etc
Even though things didn't go well in the dream I woke up feeling so guilty. I always feel guilty when I cheat in a dream and I'm always angry when Mike cheats in my dream. I've woken up and punched him in the arm a few times for being a jerk in my dream. Recently, I dreamt he was letting his ex-girlfriend inject him with heroin. I think I stayed mad for a week over that one.
According to Article Alley "In most cases, however, a dream about a cheating boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse is not about the spouse at all. Rather, the dream is most likely caused by insecurity, anxiety or guilt on the part of the dreamer."
I can buy that. We didn't have a very romantic V-day and I felt really bad about it. I went through the whole postpartum and post-weening body issue roller coaster while recovering from surgery so I had more than my share of insecurities. No matter how rational the reason behind these dreams they will continue to make me feel guilty or angry. I just hope I have a better reason to feel guilty next time.