Gravity vs The Disabled Bride

I know I've mentioned before how the logistics of my disability get lost in the fantasy of an event sometimes. I imagine the dress, the groom, the dancing, but not the horrible balance. I imagine tables full of guests, beautiful bridesmaids, but not needing my crutches or wheelchair. More accurately I imagined them off and on over the time I've been engaged. Now that we're just shy of two months away...Oy! Those considerations are on my mind.

I actually got an email from a blog fan (which I adore! I can't tell you how much it means to hear people read and appreciate the blogs) with her beautiful wedding pictures. She only used her wheelchair for the reception and said she only fell once. All the sudden it hit me, falling...Gosh Darn It. When I was in high school I did a lot of theatre and my mom always told me she'd spend shows anxious that I'd fall. I never fell on stage in high school, or college (maybe once or twice at an audition). Never-the-less, I'm suddenly anxious about a face plant in front of my guests.

I texted my bridesmaids and made them swear an oath that if I fell they wouldn't record it on their phones and upload it to YouTube. A million hits later I'm the "falling bride" for-ever! It would be beyond embarrassing. Suddenly, I worried that hiring a videographer was a bad plan. The girls promised, of course they're not the ones I really worry about. Then I decided if I go down they should all throw themselves to the ground to create a distraction! Perfect, solution: fake earthquake.

In all seriousness, I'm still getting used to my body since the surgery and I haven't a clue how likely a fall would be. I'm glad it occurred to me early so I could fret about it and get it out of my system now. I decided as always the biggest obstacle to staying on my feet will be fatigue. So, I'll get my new crutches Monday and practice with them a ton before the wedding. I'll have my wheelchair for back-up too. On the day of I plan not to be on my feet at all before the the ceremony. Thanks to the wheelchair, planning ahead and awesome bridesmaids I'm sure I can pull it off.

Here's hoping there's no nose dives, at least by the bride, on the wedding day. Any guests reading this feel free to throw yourselves on the ground in solidarity too.

***First Ever Cross Post! Read it here or Ready, Set, Happily Ever After: Ramblings of a Disabled Bride

New Crutches

Remember how I lost one of my crutches this summer? I Lost It! Well, I went went on using one crutch and holding Riley's hand, using the future to get around, etc for moths. When I had surgery I thought it'd be a good opportunity to ask the physical therapist to help me replace it. I wasn't in a rush though.

recently though I've become fed up with how limiting and cumbersome the damn walker is. Case in point, me on Christmas Day:

Unfortunately somewhere down the line someone abused their mobility device upgrades so now they have this iron clad rule about only replacing them every 5yrs. No exceptions, even when you loose one like a moron. Obviously, I can't do anything with one crutch in my current condition. I pressed my physical therapist to press the insurance, but we were getting no where.

After some dark thoughts about what would happen if I fell at the wedding and other disability related anxiety I was on a mission to find some crutches. A new pair is $139 if you pay out of pocket and you have to buy the pair. That would be fine normally but not post Christmas pre Wedding, no way. I started Googling and found some beautiful emerald green crutches which got my wheels turning. My current lone crutch is standard silver.

In the end Mike was the hero of the day. He found a pair on Craigslist that a nice lady who is about 5'2" old used for a brief period of time and was selling for $25. To me! They're white with pink tribal designs, but the designs peel off (stickers) and we can paint anything over the white.

I'm a little torn between going discreet (black, etc) or decorative and pretty (sparkly even?!?) We'll see. Mike's gonna pick them up Monday on his way home. I can't wait to try them out.

Nerding Out: Lessons From SG1, Doctor Who and The Gang

What can I say? I am a nerd. A big one. Normally I'm more of a theatre/movie & TV kind of nerd, but I dabble all over. I wanted to do a post about what we learn from SciFi Tv shows and here it is:

• You are NEVER really dead, hello Daniel Jackson (SG1)! What was it like 13 times? I think at least one member of all the good SciFi shows has been resurrected a time or two.
• Anyone can fall in love with anyone/anything: Samantha Carter (SG1), Ct Jack (Doctor Who/Torchwood), Cpt Kirk (If you need me too tell you then turn in your nerd id card right now), etc...
• Upgrades never are/come at a price: The Borg/Cybermen/Cylons...
• If you don't know what is DON'T touch it. I could do an entire post on this one. Humans are so arrogant messing around with technology we don't understand all over the darn universe and mucking things up.
• Reading people's minds sucks. It's not a gift it's a curse and it falls into the wrong hands a lot.
• Be nice to the neighbors. Every respectable show has an homage to The Day The Earth Stood Still
• You never profit from alien technology for long. It's kind of an extention of if you don't know what is don't touch it. You always pay in human life when you exploit the things you don't understand.
• People suck, or more aptly humanity on the whole is greedy and cruel, but there are small factions standing up for what's right in every crisis.
• Memory lies. Let's face it having your memory wiped or manipulated in some way is standard practice on SciFi Tv.
• The trip is never as short as you think it's going to be, (ahem Voyager)
• NEVER open the rift in space time. Like hotels forgotten by the interstate and parking garages in the movies nothing happy comes from there. Just leave it alone.
• All of history can be explained by alien intervention. From the great pyramids to the extinction of dinosaurs, aliens played a part.
• Not quite yourself today? Go see the doctor now! You could be mutating, carrying alien larva, suffering from a horribly contagious pathogen of alien origin, undead, etc

Happy Blog-A-Versary!

Yesterday was the two year anniversary of the Hedgehog Blog! Unbelievable how much has happened in two years. To celebrate I thought maybe I'd list the blog's greatest hits (according to number of views):

1. Unwanted Children, Undeserving Parents: 336 views since 2/19/2011
2. Riley's Mommy Walks Funny: 292 views since 4/21/2011
3. Cottonball Christmas Countdown: 222 views since 12/2/2011
4. Conversing With Cute: 160 views since 11/20/2011
5. We Don't Live in Parking Lots: 105 views since 4/26/2011

So, there you have my top five in the last 2yrs of posts. A little social commentary, some silly kid stuff, disabled mom perspective and crafts. It seems like a pretty good snap shot of what I get up to blog side to me. Full disclosure though, there were two with more views than number 5, but one was a contest entry and the other was pictures of Riley's new room so I skipped them.

This blog has given me a place to write, an excuse for time to myself and connected we with lots of other wonderful people who I am so lucky to have read my little old blog. Thank you, thank you. If you keep reading it, I keep writing. Here's to another two years!

Mother Goose Story Time

I think Riley and I started going to sing and dance and hear stories at the library when she was about 7mo old. We really enjoyed it. She obviously didn't participate much, but she enjoyed it and it got us out of the house. We've gone on and off since then. We hadn't been for months when I decided to brave the cold and take her today.

I took the walker to give my mom a break from loading and unloading the wheelchair. The walker is slow. So slow that we were on time when we parked, but by the time I got from the car to the reading room we'd missed the beginning. It was a good size group despite the cold. Riley was very skittish at first.

By the time laminated kitties were being handed out Riley was with the program. She presented her purple kitty on cue and put the bean bag on all the correct body parts during the beanbag song. She's so big now.

I had taken someone's seat when I walked in, well they gave it to me (thank goodness). I'm terrible at getting on and off the floor right now. I remember thinking this was a good group all around grownups and kids. I let Riley check out a cute little lift the flap book. At which point I spent 5 awkward minutes figuring out how to lift Riley to reach the water fountain while pushing the button. At which point we pottied in the "companion stall" and suited up to hit the playground.

A lot of the kiddos from story time where there probably for a while (walker=slow)when we arrived. All the kids were all bundled up and playing happily when we arrived. All the moms with their pretty sweaters that made me feel frumpy in my big red coat were standing in a circle chatting. We entered the gate and not 60 seconds later every one of them had evacuated. Did I imagine their hurry? Maybe it was the cold and my timing. I hate that it bothered me, but it did.

I want to be a pretty sweater mom chatting with my friends on the playground not a frumpy coat girl with a walker watching my mom (bless her) climb around with Riley. I hate this part. This almost, but not quite back to normal part. It's complete crap. I'm so happy we went today and for all the help I get, but I really want to wake up decide to take my kid somewhere and go.

I want to be one of the pretty, together moms. I'm tired of this crap. I don't want to observe my children I want to engage. Wah, wah, wah...Enough of that. Riley got on the swings at 2yrs and just shy of 4mos old and pumped her legs and made it go! I was so proud of her. It took Isaac until 6yr old to figure it out, but we didn't have swings in the back yard (or a backyard at all then).

Sick, but Sweet

I was the former, but the day was surprisingly the later. It happened yesterday, Mike started feeling lousy. I was thinking maybe I'd escape this round in the afternoon, but when we went to visit Mike's mom that evening she commented that I sounded a little congested and I knew I was in for it. Riley went to play at Boo's house this morning, thank goodness. I needed a break. Isaac spent his last day of break plugging away at his project.

It's hard when Mike and I are both sick because there's no one to take care of me. It always makes me stiff and tight which is super annoying considering the stage of heal my hip is in. Also, with Isaac's deadline approaching and cleaning help on the way I was afraid to sleep. Once afternoon rolled around and the house was quiet I dozed a bit. My mom dropped by with the last of the presents (warm jammies!) and then Mike and I snuggled, sniffling and watched Torchwood for a while.

It was nice to lay around. I realized how busy my days are normally when I lay around for a day or two. I'm so tired, but I think on the mend.

Howdy, 2012

Happy New Year From My Rockstars.

How do I begin? 2011 is over which isn't terribly emotional for me. 2012 however is. This is it, the year of my wedding. The year Isaac will turn 10! We will have been in the new house a year in April. Mike will have been at his job 2yrs this summer. Riley will have her first dance recital in June. Woah.

I have high hopes for complete recovery (and functionality)from this hip surgery in the very near future. I have some new opportunities on the horizon and I'm very excited. It just seems like all the struggle is starting to pay off. I don't want to whine and cry about how hard life has been, this isn't the year for that.

I'm optimistic and ready for the next chapter. I did my best to have a relaxed first day of the year, hoping the old "what you do one the first day of the year is what you'll do all year." I am very pleased to report that I slept until 10am! Well, I got up to help with pottying and breakfast and then got to lay down for most of the morning. I watched a movie and cuddled with poor sick Mike, which we didn't do nearly enough of last year. I had quite a few laughs with the kids, too.

I didn't even have to worry about dinner. We had a tradition of going to Mike's mom's for Hoppin' John (beans and rice) which is supposed to be good luck. It was a nice day with on exception Isaac (for the 3rd time in a row) just skipped a class project because he didn't feel like it. It's became a constant source of stress. He turned the other two in late for partial credit. This time it was assigned over Thanksgiving break and is due when he gets back and he didn't bring it up until after Christmas!

We've made it clear that he will complete ALL assignments whether it's too late to get credit or not. We've also been clear that we're not doing his work for him just because he waited until the last minute. Other people's procrastination is so stressful, but it's ten times as much when you're responsible for that person.

I resolve to be kinder to myself than I was last year. I also resolve to balance my time away from and with kids better. To remember my thank yous more than I forget them and to stop apologizing every time I get my way.