It's Not A Contest

So, whenever I go to the ortho I always over hear conversations in the waiting room that sound like this:

ACL?
Patella?
Yeah, 2 surgeries.
(shaking head) Me too. 3 surgeries.
Really? I have to have another one too.
Hurts like a @#$%^&* %^&*$
I can hardly move.
I had to stop driving.
...etc

Today someone tried to engage me in such a one-uping comparison of scars chat:

Morning.
Morning.
How long you been in that wheelchair?
On and off since birth.
Oh.
(Long Pause)

I hate those people. It occurred to me it was like a new money old/ money thing. When you've been dealing with orthopedic issues since birth you don't give a crap about their boo-boo that will heal in a month or two. I don't need to one up anyone with how many surgeries I've had (and I would certainly win that one) or the amount of pain I'm in. I don't need to wear my diagnosis on a t-shirt or get a badge of honor for not crawling in a hole to die. I'm not going to applaud your sports injury not ruining your life, sorry. Solicit pity from someone less knowledgeable.

There are always conversations with my mom friends about our pregnancy and labor experiences. Fascinating stuff. Inevitably there's one woman like those people in the ortho'swaiting room who wants to impress you with how many billions of hours of labor she endured or elicit sympathy for some circumstance or another.

I love my friends and I want to know what pregnancy and labor were like for them, but when it stops coming from a place of genuinely wanting to share your experiences with your friends and becomes some weird pissing contest count me out.

You're not going to shock me into thinking you deserve a prize. I've been through it. It's hard whether bed rest and the NICU are part of the equation or not. Besides what does validation from me do for you anyway? We've all got obstacles to overcome. If you want support or advise and your willing to let me cry on your shoulder too that's a different story.