A Few Tips From A Disabled Housewife

We've been over how I feel about that term, but I can't think of a better one. Be that as it may, whenever I have a particularly domestic day I think of my ex-boyfriend's mom, S. We were together a long time and I spent a lot of time at his house. Sometimes I just hung out with his amazing mom waiting for him to get home or out of the shower or whatever. S. and my ex's dad were married almost 10yrs before they had children at which point she gave up her job to stay home with her kids. When I met her both of her kids were in their 20's so she had a lot of sage advice.

She told me to plan out a week's worth of dinners before I went to the store instead of just making a list of what I was out of. I fully admit to going to the store and trying to figure dinners out on the fly which usually means forgetting the bread or something. As a disabled mom it's much better to keep the grocery trips as efficient as possible. I like to get in and get out. Hopefully with the aid of an electric cart. I like to start at the opposite end from where I entered and work my way back to the door closest to my car. I know running back to produce is no big deal to most of you, but it could mean the difference between being able to make dinner after the groceries are put away or not for me.

Another thing S. told me was that to keep from being overwhelmed I should spread the housework over the week. This is the only way to stay functional for me. First of all, there are things I just can't do. Once a week help comes to do my floors and anything else I have trouble with. It's crucial to know your limits and ask for help. Wednesday is kind of a wash on anything long term because Isaac gets out of school early. There's only one thing I can do when both kids are home and that's laundry. They're actually pretty helpful helping me get clothes from the washer to the dryer. Isaac enjoys "delivering" stacks of folded clothes. Everything else falls to one of the other days.

What I get done is dramatically different from week to week. Some weeks I'm like a "normal" person others I quite literally do nothing. I'm at the mercy of my pain and fatigue levels (and two children's mood swings). On the subject of needing rest, we all do. Take a minute, take a breath. Start with nap time take 1/2 of it to read, write or watch tv that wasn't intended for toddlers. You can use the other half to be productive. There's also the option of alternating days Tues and Thurs nap time is me time, etc. Housework and family running never ends trying not to burn out or injure yourself is a full time concern.

The other trick to sanity is letting go. Sometimes you watch the kids destroy the living room and think "They'll only be this age once...". It'd be easy to obsess and take it personal, but you can't expect your spouse and children to care as much as you do. Just don't forget to stand up for yourself when lines are being crossed. Wallowing in self pity never got anyone anywhere. On the same note speak up when you need a break. The hours are long even the most detached partner should be able to grant you a night off from the kids now and then.

So, there you have it. As long as I'm a housewife I'd like to be the best I can. Thank you S. where ever you are for teaching me how to be efficient and supporting my dreams. That's the last thing don't stop being yourself that's not what your family wants. Mom's have dreams and aspirations too.