Irrational Fear

Some kids are afraid of the dark or the vacuum. Isaac had a phase when he was afraid of both. He 's a brave guy these days. Riley is pretty brave she sleeps with the light off and loves the vacuum. Both of the kids do well in the pool and love monsters. It's not them suffering because of fear around here lately, it's me.

I've been terrified. Not of the usual someone breaking in and killing us in our sleep kind of irrational fear. I'm not entirely crazy there are some real life factors pushing my buttons. I had my tubes tied when Riley was born. I've also been in serious pain for weeks because I didn't have my anti-inflammatory so trust me when I tell you there is zero chance. I've been very hormonal and I started to worry I was pregnant.

Really worry. Moody, food aversions, nausea and a horrible break out worried. Mike assured me I was being ridiculous. The more he assured me the more I became convinced I had another tumor. That path was even darker than the first. At the risk of working myself into a not functional state I decided to try to ignore the whole situation.

I wish I could get excited about the idea of another baby however far fetched, but reality is too sobering. I hate hormone fluctuations. It seems to be subsiding whatever it was. I really don't have time for hormonal instability this week with my big hip procedure test deal-y coming up on Thursday.