I came home from work one day and he was standing on the sidewalk outside my building. I was afraid to get out of the car. When I did, tears welling in my eyes, I told him he should leave. He was obviously drunk, he'd ridden a bike over. He followed me up the sidewalk my heart was pounding. I calculated how in the hell I could get inside the gate and close it without him following. He kept begging me to listen and I kept walking (wishing I could run). I warned him I'd call the cops. He persisted and I dialed 9-1-1, fingers trembling.
He lunged forward with his arm out like he'd grab me but stopped short. It terrified me. Even drunk, there was no way I could over power him. I told the 9-1-1 operator I needed help because my ex won't leave me alone. I was told they'd send someone. I desperately wanted to be on the other side of the gate. Maybe hearing my call gave him a moment's pause, who knows? For some reason he stopped at the steps.
He stood watching me and yelling at me as I went through the security gate and into my apartment. He didn't leave. He stayed at the front steps yelling. My apartment had a large front window that faced the street so I could see and hear him. I called my nearest male friends in a panic.
My friends arrived after 5 terrible minutes and tried to persuade him to leave. He refused even though they reminded him the cops were on the way. I have no idea how long I waited but it felt like days standing at the window while he yelled. It had to be at least 20min and then all the sudden it was quiet. I was afraid to look out the window, but sure enough he was pedaling away. Not 20seconds later the police arrived. I remember that the bike disappeared around the corner and I hadn't even gotten "he's gone" out before the police car arrived.
I explained the situation. There was nothing they could do. He hadn't assaulted me or trespassed (even if he'd come close to both). They asked for a picture and I showed them one. They agreed that I was being harassed and recommended I get a personal protection order. They gave me their card in case he came back. I cried while I quickly grabbed some things and left. No way I was sleeping there. I'm sure my neighbors hated me anyway after all the screaming and the police showing up. I spent the night with friends.
In the morning I went to the courthouse. I got a temporary order of protection that said he had to stay away from me and my roommate. He wasn't supposed to call or write messages either. I remember going cold when she asked "does he have a gun." I hadn't seen one, but he had talked about a gun and going to the gun range some time.
The next step was to serve him with the papers without actually going near him. I remember that you could have a sheriff do it or one of your friends. Someone (probably one of his friends) asked that I not send a sheriff because of how it would look...I wanted to anyway, but it would have taken several more days. I needed it done right away. I dropped my friend off in front of a restaurant where he was eating with friends and drove around the block to wait for her. I asked how he reacted. She said he took it and asked "Why is she doing this?" to which she had replied "You should probably leave her alone" and then she left.
I left a copy of the protection order at my apartment at all times in case my room mate had to call the police and gave a copy to work (where I was trying to mend fences after missing days, being tired and distracted). Part of me was hopeful I wouldn't hear from him and part of me hoped he'd show up so I could call the police. If he were arrested I'd know. The protection order was only temporary we still had to go before a judge to get a permanent one. Not only did I have to apologize for my behavior at work and give them a copy of the order, I had to request the court date off.
I was still uncomfortable in my own apartment or anywhere he might find me.
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