Monday, May 19, 2014

Stalked: Inaction & Reaction

I dragged my feet about ending it (also not typical for me) for all the reasons 20-year-olds do: I needed a ride to the airport, he owed me money...etc and yes, I was also a little scared. At the time I couldn't quantify my fear though.

One day he called me while I was out with friends and I told him I'd meet up with him later. Maybe he was picking up on the fact that I was over the situation or maybe he was just bored, but by the time I saw him a few hours later he was in quite a state. He hurled such insulting accusations at me and I realized, that was the last straw. Ok, the last straw had been a while ago, but I couldn't put it off anymore. I told him that we were done. I said I didn't have any interest in being with someone who didn't trust or respect me. I told him to get out and he did.

I felt a thousand pounds lift from my shoulders and sucked all the oxygen in the room into my lungs for the first time in weeks. As I recall nothing else happened that night.

The next day the calls started...he called all day. When I answered and told him to stop, the calls increased in frequency. He filled my voice mail box. He sent me dozens of texts along the lines of "talk 2 me", "Y R U doin' this?", "where r u?", "who r u with?" etc. I remember always being slightly irritated by his lazy short hand texts, but when you receive twelve in a row they're super annoying. He started showing up outside my apartment at all hours (early in the morning when I was leaving for work, mid-day, late at night).

One day he saw me walking to my car with a male friend and he followed us shouting horrible things. It's unnerving to be shouted at, but profanity being hurled at you and an innocent bystander outside your own home is horrible. The next day he called me and I answered. He was drunk and screaming at me calling me a "slut", etc. The whole time I could hear his friend in the background trying to calm him down saying "you're scaring her, man" He was right it. It was scary. I had officially become afraid of what he would do next.

My friends were scared to visit me at my place. I didn't want to be there either, I stayed with friends as much as possible. At the time I didn't have the ability to block calls from a specific number, but I told him I had.

He showed up at my room mate's work and made a scene. I was afraid I'd loose my apartment over this, but I assured my room mate I'd do something. I was tired all the time, tensions were high between my room mate and I and I was getting in trouble at work. Not answering his calls and telling him I'd blocked him only made him inundate my email and myspace with messages. I couldn't think of any other ways to say "go away!" It was getting completely out of control.

I think part of me was still in shock. It didn't seem possible for an adult I only dated briefly to be reacting this way.

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