What It's Like In Here

My guard is on its way down now that the kids are snugly sleeping
All day I've fought it back and now it's creeping in...
The night is still, but my nerves buzz with unpleasant sensation.
He zooms around me like a fly completely unaware
I throw him the angry glance I wish I could give my pain
He's still talking but I can't take anything in.
The weight of my body on the bed is overwhelming.
Now he's beside me and the room's quiet.
"You don't know what it's like in here!", I scream at him.
His eyes widen at my volume, but return to normal when he realizes he's heard it before.
Then he nods "No. I don't."
We are silent for a long moment because there isn't anything else to say.
The TV comes to life, I am happy for the distraction.
We settle into ourselves and the shades of normal deepen all around.
Nothing is constant except for change.
I fought it all day, but not tonight.
I am warm and for these hours the world is only the four of us.

100 Happy Days: Third Ten

For those of you unfamiliar with the sunny little campaign that's making the rounds on social media click here.

Here's round three of my daily happy. In case you missed one through ten they're here and the here is the second set. Ready, set...round three of looking on the bright side.

Here's twenty one through thirty:

Little Ones!

This little lady is my one year old niece

My big kids!

I fully admit that the end of 5th Grade/ End of Preschool events have me emotional about them growing up, but thank goodness for big kids. I love their strange little minds and never know what they'll say or do next!

Puppy play dates!

This is Leeloo's doggie friend Mimi, she's a sweetie!

The first time I've been able to paint my own toes in four years, since the back surgery! Sooo much happy!

The base is "What's With the Cattitude" by Opi and I don't recall the sparkly one I put over top. It was inspired by Elsa from Frozen.

Pretty nails & a cold Coke!

Reading to Riley's class! It's my steady-est performance gig these days. (:

The roses that climb up to my bedroom window & bloom to wish me good morning.

Happy-est Place on Earth!!

Disney Pictures!!

Rainy Days when I've already dropped off the kids and I don't have to leave for hours.

100 Days of Happy: Second Ten

For those of you unfamiliar with the sunny little campaign that's making the rounds on social media click here.

Here's round two of my daily happy. In case you missed one through ten they're here. Please don't misunderstand, there has been plenty of sadness, disappointment, frustration and pain in the last almost three weeks these are the bight spots. In all honesty, most days I had trouble deciding which happy moment should represent the day. It has an amazing effect on your perspective. Also, once I got in the habit of sharing daily happy moments it was much harder to complain publicly.

Here's eleven through twenty:

The kids & I are off to see the Wizard! Next weekend (:

This was extra special because not only do I love the theater and the Wizard of Oz, but an old friend from college was one of the musicians for this run of the show!

Puppy Cuddles!

She's always there for me when I have a rough day. I just love her so much.

Booked a movie date.

Opportunity, kicked in the door and I knew it was time to use the gift card my lovely sister gave us for Christmas. We're going to see Transcendence with Johnny Depp and Morgan Freeman. Woohoo, date night!

Face painting!

When they offered face painting at school the parents all had to sign a permission slip. The teacher started to say "sign this if she wants her face..." then laughed and said "here." Obviously, Roo was over the moon. Isn't face painting great? I wish there were more opportunities for it.

Being Appreciated!

It was parent appreciation day at Roo's school. This little bag had a "seven minute breakfast" it was a juice box, small banana and a pastry. I loved it, especially the little owl note.

Donuts!

A great night at the theater!

The show was amazing! I'm so glad the kids and I got to see it. Breathtaking. I hope it becomes a cherished memory for the kids it certainly will be one of mine. I'm so glad I didn't give up on finding tickets we could afford, where's there'a will there's a way!

Flowers!

Volunteering at Riley's school makes me happy! I love these guys!

I'm tempted to write the word "massage" and leave it at that but it wouldn't be accurate. What makes me happy is knowing I'm taking care of myself and naturally managing my pain.

Easter

Our Easter party was a big success, as always. You can't go wrong with a house full of excited kids. The pancakes were yellow (bananas foster), blue (blueberry) and my favorite, pink (chocolate raspberry). This year we didn't have a single pancake left by the time we were ready to find those eggs. Lot's of happy full bellies after Mike's pancakes and all the yummy breakfast foods family brought. The Easter bunny had four dozen hard boiled and 173 plastic eggs to hide so it's a good thing Roo left him a snack. I let the kids out into the yard in 3 waves: babies/toddlers, preschoolers and then big kids. In years past I had big kids wait on the patio, but this time I kept them inside the house until Mike signaled me to send the next group. We get a little bit better at this party every year.

Happy Easter!!

Hippity Hoppity Easter on it's Way

Spring has sprung and Easter preparations are underway. I'm always excited for our annual gathering which has grown from four kiddos to somewhere in the neighborhood of fifteen. This party was one of the reasons we chose our house with its amazing backyard. I live for excuses to fill my house and yard with happy children. Every year we invite friends and family over for Easter egg pancakes and egg hunting.

Miss Roo filling eggs for her classmates.

The eggs we dyed and decorated

Treats and favors

Conversations With Cute Spring 2014

In the car over the weekend Riley asked if she could watch Antz later. I thought it was pretty random, but I said sure. It never happened that day, but the next morning after breakfast she asked again.
Her brother put on Antz.
About 2 minutes of movie play...
"This isn't the right Antz!"
Mike tries to figure out what she means, he describes the later part of Antz.
"No, the one with the people in it"
He describes A Bugs Life, James and the Giant Peach, Fly Me to the Moon (she insists none of these are the movie she wants)
Riley thinks VERY hard for a few seconds... "Yellow Submarine!"
She was thinking of the "Beatles".

On the way home from school:
Don't let me pass our turn, ok Riley?
Ok mom. Just...just go straight and then...turn in the shape of the letter "L"
Ok thanks. This one?
Yes the brown one.
The one with eggs on the door?
Mom, who put those eggs there?
I did.
No, say like a joke that the Easter Bunny did.
Ok. Riley who put those there?
Who?
The Easter Bunny!
(Laughs)
Ok, now I'll tell you one...why did the Easter Bunny...um...poop on the eggs?
Ew, Riley. That's gross.
Oh
You should tell that joke to Isaac instead.
Oh, why? Does he like gross things?
Yes
Does he like poop?
Probably, it's gross
(Walks inside)Hey Isaac what do you like?
What?
She wants you to say poop.
What?
Say poop.
Isaac! What do you like?
Poop!
(Hysterical laughter)
(In an incredibly serious tone) Not really though, Riley. It's gross.

I went in to read to Riley's class yesterday. I got there early and watched their Greek lesson.
Greek Teacher: Who remembers what this song is about?
Riley: It's about bees that work very hard. They work hard to make their honey. Then a bear eats it! They get mad.
GT: Bravo, Riley
Another kid in Roo's class: Why does the bear eat the honey?
Roo's teacher: She made a mistake
Same kid: Oh, she made a mistake!
Different little boy: I LOVE steaks (he even licked his lips)
*I THINK he heard "she made him a steak", but who knows?

Riley are you excited to go see your friend's new house after school?
Yeah! I can't wait to use the bathroom!!
What?
Because it's Purple!
Oh, ok silly.

100 Happy Days: First 10

For those of you unfamiliar with the sunny little campaign that's making the rounds on social media click here.

My first thought when I read that was, "71%?!? Unacceptable." So far I'm up to day 11, but the highest I've seen on my daily perusal of the other posts was someone on day 90 and that was 5 days ago. I hope she finishes! I hope so many of us make it to end that the numbers change.

Here's what I posted so far:

27 Days, fast passes booked!

I freaking did it! French braid success!

Puppy Visits!

I did it! My Easter table!

Princess hugs puppy.

Fridge gallery clear. I love a finished project.

Kid art!

Prepping for a shopping trip makes me feel like an athlete before a big game. Go team!

A hot breakfast that I don't have share with children. Amen.

Hair cut!

Do my a favor, if you are participating in 100HappyDays leave a comment or message me on the FB page and keep being awesome!!