Oh the memory. Pregnancy brain is no myth and no matter how excellent memory was before conception. But after the baby...(I'm shaking my head as I type thinking about it). It has to be the lack of sleep mixed with varying hormone levels.
It can be really embarrassing. For example I forget whether I asked a question out loud or only thought it. I forget the words for things. Recently I even locked my keys in my car twice in two weeks. I've only ever locked my keys in the car once in 4years up until now. Also, I just typed out the previous sentence without the final word it read "in 4 years up until." (Shaking head some more). Most days I have a lot of trouble with whether I put on deodorant or not. Sometimes I lose things and find them in weird places. My sunglasses are almost never where I think I left them and once I found my cell phone in the mailbox.
It's especially annoying because I've always had a great memory and losing things makes me nuts. But in typical mommy fashion I always remember to bundle the baby up when it's cold even if I forget my coat and to restock the diaper bag. (I just noticed I ended that sentence with a coma, geez). It's almost like the fatigue leaves me just enough energy to focus on one of us and Riley wins.
So funny to read this and remember back 25+ years to my own experience. I ultimately came to the conclusion that for me, this was about momma learning to be conscious for TWO human beings rather than just one. I don't mean conscious in a caretaker kind of way -- but simply approaching everything AS IF you are your baby. (If I didn't think that way, I feared I might miss something critically important). In my case it did take time to learn to split my consciousness that way ... but it did get much easier after a while!
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