I have found I have about a two hour limit away from Riley before I become physically (thanks breastfeeding) and emotionally ready to see her again. Even in my worst moments when I want everyone and everything to go away I want to be with Riley. This past week Mike got invited to sing with his boss's band on Wednesday night. I was never a bar person even when I was single and Wednesday is right in the middle of the week. So here I was just recovered from camping, tired and coming down with a cold going to a bar on a Wednesday night.
Riley was sound asleep and unquestionably out for the night. I sucked it up and left his mom to sit with the sleeping kids. I was excited to be out with just Mike and to video his performance like the supportive girl I am. Not to mention it had been at least a year since we heard live music.
It was fun, too smokey but a nice change of pace. I was sad the whole time, but it was a small sadness and it didn't ruin my night. However, when it struck two hours I basically chased Mike out the door.
I knew Riley would be soundly sleeping and not even know I was gone. Two hours is just my emotional limit for now. When she came home from the hospital it was about 5min and by December I could handle an hour and now I'm up to two. They tell me someday I'll be glad for a break and I believe them even if I can't imagine it now.
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