Bumps in the Road

This week didn't run as smoothly for the kids as last week. Nothing earth shattering, just not smooth. Isaac mistakenly went to the wrong class, but everybody has to do that once. He also took a spill off of his bike. You know how they say most accidents happen close to home? Yup, it was just up the block. He really enjoys ridding his bike to school. The independence has already done him good, I see him trying things on his own and taking responsibility more. When he came home Thursday he was obviously attempting to break the sound barrier (which is fine on an empty bike trail), but when he exited the trail into our neighborhood he didn't slow down. He went down the incline to fast, kicked the pedal backward to hard and derailed his bike chain. His bike flipped over, he tore his pants and skinned his knee.

He was shaken up, his pants are unsalvageable and his chain needed to be reattached, but otherwise he's fine. If Mike and I weren't 100% confident in his ability to get to and from school he wouldn't be ridding his bike. We know he can do this safely on his own. He's blessed to live so close to his school and have a bike trail from our neighborhood that runs part of the way to school. We live in a great neighborhood that's always abuzz with families walking to and from the elementary school and even though I don't know everyone's names, I know we all look out for each other's kids.

Once Isaac was cleaned up with Neosoporin on his scraps we had a serious talk about bike safety. I told him to think of it this way "You can drive 70mph down the highway for miles and miles, but when you hit the exit ramp if you don't slow your car down to 40mph you can hurt or kill someone or yourself." He fixed and tested his bike chain this morning by himself (and was beaming with pride). We discussed bike safety again this morning (with Mike this time) and made a concrete plan for where to meet us if it's raining to hard to bike home. I think that overturned bike and scrapped knee were a good reality check. I'm certainly proud of him for not giving up on ever ridding a bike again (as he would have in his younger days), but viewing it instead as a learning experience. I told him "It was caused by your bad decision, which is great news because it means you can prevent it from ever happening again." I don't think he realized how grown up he's becoming until he got a chance to dust himself off from that spill.

Miss Roo's week wasn't all sunshine and roses either. She was out of sorts most mornings this week. A fire drill during nap earlier in the week (thanks guys!) brought us the night of 100 meltdowns and threw off her schedule. She's been cranky, mean and not herself. Thursday morning was by far the worst. She refused to get up. Then she didn't want to get dressed and then her breakfast was all wrong. There were tears over the way I did her hair and not letting her bring toys to school. When we were ready to get in the car I had to enlist Mike to carry her kicking and complaining to her car seat because she wanted to play on the computer before school (that has NEVER been allowed for either kid). We chatted on the way to school and I tried all my usual tricks: made sure she had her listening ears on, asked her to throw bad attitude away, talked to her about all the fun things she was going to do, and even sang a song. When we got to school she had a fit in the parking lot (so embarrassing). I was sure she would get to her classroom and be all smiles (it had never failed before). Instead she had to be coaxed into the room for several minutes at which time she laid down on the floor and did her best Gandalf impression.

I hugged her and encouraged her to make good choices. I was completely certain that my leaving would inspire better behavior. For the most part she did alright from what I hear, but she had a bad note at the end of the day. It said "She had a lot of trouble cleaning up." That was a surprise because obviously she knows the drill and is usually a great helper. Then one of her friends told me she was crying during outside time. Riley claimed that she "missed Mommy." At the end of the school day on the playground? Nope, don't think so. One of her other friends chimed in that "It was because she said a bad word." The teacher in the room at the time wasn't the same teacher who had been on the playground with her, but she had heard about it. Roo and her buddy were trading silly insults "cheese buggers", etc and Roo apparently called out "ass". I imagine that it got quite a reaction from her friend and she repeated it to the delight/horror of her classmates. She was taken aside by the teacher who addressed how inappropriate the language was at which point Roo cried because she was afraid the teacher would tell me what she said.

Having gotten to the bottom of things I am certain she was overtired all day. I'm a little stunned that she used that word at all, but she was very rational about it on the way home. I suggested silly things to call our friends like "cotton headed ninny muggins" or "silly gilly gumble" and reminded her that no game that hurts someone's feelings is a good idea. That even if she didn't mean to hurt someone's feelings that's not a nice word and it isn't allowed at school. She chimed in saying "Yeah, no potty words at school." I explained that no one is allowed to use language like that at school not the parents, not the teachers, nobody. Then I asked her if she's ever heard a princess say that word. She hadn't and we agreed if princesses don't say it Roo shouldn't either.

Just like with her brother I wanted her to recognize her poor choices and then learn and move on. We didn't dwell on it after that conversation and I made a point of getting her to bed early that night. This morning she was herself again. Bubbly and reasonable (for an almost 5yr old). She promised to help clean up and only use nice words at school today.

To my independent, problem solving children: these are just bumps in the road, they won't be the last. I'm proud of you.

The Overnight Issue

So it seemed to me crate training was a bit like getting the baby to sleep in its crib. As far as potential stress, time commitment and rewards. All the expects agree it's a good idea, but they all seem to circulate the same vague information on how to achieve this. We were suprised last week that Mike's dad told us he had crated his puppy right from the start. The more I thought about it the more I figured most people don't have a choice. We knew that puppies bladder muscles don't mature until 12wks and up until then they have a 2-3hr bladder capacity at most. That worried us as well as the idea of rushing the whole crate idea.

At first everything we were reading was the same. The crate's their den-like quiet space it keeps them safe and helps house train them. Never use it as punishment. Make sure they get in voluntarily and have a pleasant experience. Ok, great...We tossed treats and toys in there. We only praised her when she's in the crate, never make a big deal coming out. Always let her out when she's calm never associate crying with being released. That was all fine, but how exactly to we get to the point of crating overnight?

This was the first video/article we found that described the progression. We had already diligently "introduced the crate". Now it was time to start feeding her in the crate. You put the dish in the back and shut the door while they eat. At first you open the door right away when they finish and you gradually increase to 10min after eating. She was doing so well with this during the day I decided to try crating her overnight. I worried that we waited too long. That it would be harder because we hadn't made her sleep in there with the door shut from the start.

We had moved her in there when she was sleeping and left the door open a few times. She's even gone in and laid down herself a few times with the door open. So after a rockstar day eating and hanging out in her crate with the door shut on Monday we decided to try overnight. We took her out to potty, played with her for awhile and then threw a treat in her "room". She settled down happily at first, but got anxious after about 6-7min. Mike laid on the floor next to her crate until she fell asleep. When she woke up to go potty in the night Mike took her out and didn't have the heart/wakefulness to put her back in and shut the door.

Yesterday, we continued to close her into her "room" to eat and hang out. She didn't do as well, but not terrible. We stayed up later last night than we had the night before. We took her out to potty and then praised her when she went in to her "room" and laid down. Mike and I were in sight in our bed watching a movie. After a few minutes of calmly laying down she sat up and tapped the door to be let out. Then she whined and cried. When we didn't respond she started barking it was awful pained barking. Then Mike got down on the floor next to the crate and she mellowed out. This time she woke up several times crying during the night it was terrible. After Mike took her out to potty during the night he put her back in and shut the door. I think she slept 20 more minutes, at least that's what it felt like. It was a horrible night.

We both dragged ourselves out of bed upset and exhausted. We agreed to do more research. We think moving her a little closer to us may help since she calms when someone is next to the crate. Other than that I re-read that first article, which didn't really get into overnight. I found this article. Right away, I felt better. They suggest increasing the time in the crate with the door shut up to 30mins slowly before leaving them home alone in the create. They also specifically discuss overnight saying you do have to take them out to go to the bathroom during the night which seemed obvious to us. They also say this about what happened to us last night:
If the whining continues after you've ignored him for several minutes, use the phrase he associates with going outside to eliminate. If he responds and becomes excited, take him outside. This should be a trip with a purpose, not play time. If you're convinced that your dog doesn't need to eliminate, the best response is to ignore him until he stops whining. Don't give in; if you do, you'll teach your dog to whine loud and long to get what he wants. If you've progressed gradually through the training steps and haven't done too much too fast, you'll be less likely to encounter this problem. If the problem becomes unmanageable, you may need to start the crate training process over again.

This morning when I put Leeloo's breakfast down and she went in and I shut the door, but she didn't eat. This time instead of leaving her in there the 5-10min and then releasing her I just let her out when she calmly indicated she was ready. Then I took the food dish out and set it on top of the crate and left the door open. The prior two days she was going back in and eating with the door open until someone noticed on occasion. After 20min she went looking for her breakfast and I put the bowl back in. She went in and ate with door closed at that point. Mental note: this is the way to go. Hopefully, if we play our cards right during the day (when she almost never whines or cries with the door shut) and make a few adjustments at night maybe she'll do better.

Although letting her "cry it out" was suggested most of my research indicates it simply isn't necessary if you do it right. They say crying indicates you increased time with the door shut too quickly and to just back up a bit. They also suggest a little crying the "first few" nights is ok. Which implies to me she'll be done fussing after a week of this. It's hard, just as hard as listening to Riley cry when she was 2mos old. At this point all though we were ready to, as dawn found us with more fingers on one hand than hours of sleep, give up we will persevere. I worry about her getting bigger and harder to contain at night and getting hurt. Parenting is so hard even when it's a furry baby. Wish us a peaceful night.

A Time to Lean

My wheelchair has been in need of new tires since February. It just seemed like something that could wait until after the wedding. I got through everything on bald tires and then gave up on using the chair. I liked that I didn't have the choice, but I've wanted to sit lately. On the other hand I should be able do to everything I did pre-surgery without compliant, right? It's been five months.

I'm healed enough to get around, but not to abandon using the wheelchair inside the house occasionally. I haven't been using it. I haven't been resting at all. I have been attempting to use one cructh or use the furniture to hobble around a lot more. Today Riley handed me a crutch and said "Here Mommy. There's your crutches. You use them so you don't say ouch. Hold the handles." My little helper. She's probably right. Maybe I should use them both more often. Maybe I'm pushing too hard.

PS: I pulled a tendon in my hip

The Lasts

Today was my last therapy appointment before the wedding. I think they doubled up on everything because they knew that. Instead of two sets of twenty she had me doing two sets of forty for everything. I actually had a terrible back spasm and had to stop on the last exercise. I am so sore and tired.

It doesn't help that I left therapy picked up my Mom and hit the mall. I returned Mike's shirt to Macy's, walking. Then we went to lunch, still walking. After all that exercise I was craving protien. I had a steak. Then we both got our underthings for the wedding day squared away, in the wheelchair. After that we hit Target (where I used my chair since I was too tired to walk to an electric cart) to return Mike's bathing suit. It was a good thing because all the thank you cards were on clearance. I got a pack with pretty wedding dresses on the front and a box of white with silver script for about $3 for both. Score!

After that I hit the party store, walking again. I got a few small things. I used three different Amex giftcards with a dollar and change. I figured that was a low traffic place where my doing so wouldn't cause a riot. I still didn't come with everything I set out for, but I'm done now. No more therapy or shopping from now until the wedding.

I even sent Riley home with my Mom after dinner so I could sleep later then 7am tomorrow. Which is totally bizare. It's so different to send Isaac to bed and then have time to myself. I guess I've forgotten what having one kid is like.

Nightmares

I have been besieged by bad dreams lately. I wake up around 3am and spend 45min-2hrs trying to fall back asleep. Never since late pregnancy and having a newborn have I slept so poorly. I think I've crossed the threshold from exhausted to certifiably insane. It's bad.

On a typical Monday I get Riley ready and out the door. Then I work alongside my cleaning help up tidying up so she can do floors. Then I write, do laundry and put away clothes until Isaac comes home from school. I assist homework and go about my domestic chores and so on until Mike and Riley come home. Then it's dinner, bath and bed for kiddos.

Today I stayed in bed while Mike dressed Riley, I did pull her up on the bed and put a barrette in for her. Then I laid in bed. Instead of my typical anxiety when my friend was texting that she'd be late I was relieved. Once she arrived she cleaned I laid in bed. After she left I got up and ate and got back in bed.

Napping hadn't helped much yesterday and didn't seem to be happening for me today. Later in the afternoon I decided to get a hot shower to get my blood pumping. I thought maybe I could shake the tired. Wrong.

I got clean, dressed and productive. Way productive. Isaac had a good day so he was cheerful and helpful. I got a lot done probably a day's worth of work at least, but I couldn't shake the tired. I've been taking vitamins and not skipping meals. Aside from the nightmares and waking up at night nothing's different. Unless you count wedding planning. Grumble.

Now I'm worried I might be getting sick or something. It's probably just wedding stress and over activity. Fingers crossed tonight's better.

Hindsight is Twenty, Twenty

I should not have walked the combined square footage of three stores in between physical therapy appointments. I should have spaced out the trips. The trouble is my wedding is two weeks away and my groom just decided what the boys were wearing this weekend. All that walking and then home empty handed mid-week, but the weekend was worse.

I should have rested before the baby shower. I should not have run errands first. I certainly should not have gone to the mall afterward! I was so disappointed about not finding anything during the week I made some not great choices. Isaac wears a size 8 and he needs brown dress pants. I checked online, Target, Kohls and Ross, Nada. Apparently, little boys ONLY wear black or navy dress pants EVER. Also, brown pants were plentiful in toddler sizes and mens sizes so that's the only age window it isn't done I guess. I shall have to file a grievance with the prepubescent boys union about this.

Aside from Isaac's pants, he's a groomsman, I needed to see if the shirt I liked for Mike was available in store to save us the $10 shipping and I needed shoes to get married in. Now, I escaped without kids having had Mike load the wheelchair into the back of my station wagon for me. I never go to the mall on weekends I always go early on weekdays. There's a good reason for that. Not only was every handicapped space gone, but every space near the store I wanted in general. I should have thought about what that crowded of a parking lot meant and gone home.

I got a descent space, used my crutches to get to the back of the car and then pulled on my wheelchair until it kind of fell out. I left my crutches in the back and wheeled in to Macy's (I should also mention I really hate department store). They did not have the shirt in the color I needed for Mike. They had a similar one (also on sale), but it wasn't in the size he told me. I pondered that and called him to discuss while I searched the boys department. Mike told me to get the size smaller shirt.

LOOOOOOOOOONG story short, that was all I came home with. There were no brown pants in Isaac's size. I found several shoe options, but none in my size/the right color. It was a bust. I dragged my tired butt back to the car after those fruitless hours of searching and could not remember how I'd been able to load my wheelchair up by myself before. I took my crutches out of the back, folded up the wheelchair and then made several comical attempts to put it in. Basically, I have to tip it back in a giant wheelie until the front wheels are in the car. Then I have to reposition (and brace) myself so I can push it up it enough force to get it in. Once it's standing up in the back I just tug it until it's on it's side and shut the door.

I got home beyond tired to discover the shirt didn't fit Mike at all. It has to be returned. I just put all the cardboard and pins in a bag because I have no idea how to redo them. He also got the wrong size bathing suit at Target earlier in the day so that has to go back. It gets better. I went to order my plan b shoe choice online and it was sold out!

It was so stressful. I did order Isaac the only pair of brown dress pants in his size in all of creation. They better fit. Other than that I busted my butt on minimal sleep (been having nightmares)for almost nothing!

You're Welcome...

You're welcome family. You are welcome for the tidy house you all came home to after you left a messy one behind. You're welcome children for the Valentines I took the time to provide you. You're welcome for all the questions I answered today and for the example I led. You're welcome for putting you first. You're welcome for the homework help, the pee pee clean up, the bathes and the stories

This was a day I could have really used a thank you. Maybe tomorrow I'll race off to therapy before you're awake, return your library books and chauffeur you around without a second thought, but today...Today I got blank stares and defiance. I got ignored and criticized. You all came home in your own worlds and it never crossed your minds that all the laundry didn't do itself. Today you are kind and sweet as ever, but not grateful. Today I feel wrung out and tired.

You don't care about the things I did today. Only not doing them, would have been noticed. My head aches. I want to skip dinner and sleep. I want someone to put their arms around me and say "good job". That person doesn't live here today and perhaps I won't need them to tomorrow.

A Sudden Shift

Today, I got up and showered and got dressed to leave the house. Hurray! I took Riley over to play with her friends. I had a nice visit with D. and then I ran over to the mall to pick something up. When I got home it was quiet. Messy and over run with laundry, but quiet. I made a start on cleaning and laundry. More importantly I ate an uninterrupted and unshared lunch and watched something that wasn't Dora the Explorer. Aaaahhh....

I started editing all the blogs that had piled up in my draft box while Riley was sick. What a whiny bunch of writing. Sorry, blog fans. The back to back mall walks have really sapped my energy. I really put some miles on those crutches. Unfortunately, today was also my last physical therapy home visit. He was supposed to come at noon, he called me at 4:30pm. Ugh. I did find somewhere to go for out patient therapy, but it's a hike. Mike is really worried about me driving that far three times a week.

It's been a little intense around here with Riley's illness and the wedding looming. I'm feeling almost manic lately. I'm either so excited and happy about life and the wedding or I'm down in the dumps. Maybe I need more sleep. Yeah, that goes on the list more sleep, more money and more hours in the day, please!

Stage 5 Clinger!!

My kids have been sooooo needy over the last two weeks. I thought incorrectly that all the holiday goings on and then new toys would keep them busy. I also thought, as they had in the past whenever Isaac was off from school, they would play together. Things have been very different this time. School and dance classes ended and Riley became my shadow. Meanwhile, Isaac became a disembodied voice from another room.

Nothing I did or said made Riley want to leave my side. I even got dragged out of the bathroom once or twice. Isaac on the other hand, must have gone into his room that first night to discover his legs had fallen off. Between his computer, 3DS and all those new books he had little use for us girls. It was really maddening at times. The age difference strikes again. I think they played together less than 15min in the last week and a half. Bah.

I am partially to blame, I wasn't physically up for the backyard or driving so that seriously limited the activities this go round. It was also hard because the friends they normally play with on weekends were otherwise engaged or out of town so there wasn't a lot of the normal social time to break things up for us either. I can't wait for Riley to start spending time with her friends and going to dance class again! As for Isaac he needs his routine. He is super grouchy without his schedule. His regular homework was done the first week of break because I made him do a page a day during his lunch time computer hiatus. There was a "forgotten" gifted project has had me kicking his butt for a few days. I'm tired, I can't wait for school to start.

I know it sounds funny, but I miss the predictability of our day to day schedules. I love my kids and quality time has been great, but I still don't feel recovered from the weekend yet. I need a break.

It's The First Thing To Go

Oh the memory. Pregnancy brain is no myth and no matter how excellent memory was before conception. But after the baby...(I'm shaking my head as I type thinking about it). It has to be the lack of sleep mixed with varying hormone levels.

It can be really embarrassing. For example I forget whether I asked a question out loud or only thought it. I forget the words for things. Recently I even locked my keys in my car twice in two weeks. I've only ever locked my keys in the car once in 4years up until now. Also, I just typed out the previous sentence without the final word it read "in 4 years up until." (Shaking head some more). Most days I have a lot of trouble with whether I put on deodorant or not. Sometimes I lose things and find them in weird places. My sunglasses are almost never where I think I left them and once I found my cell phone in the mailbox.

It's especially annoying because I've always had a great memory and losing things makes me nuts. But in typical mommy fashion I always remember to bundle the baby up when it's cold even if I forget my coat and to restock the diaper bag. (I just noticed I ended that sentence with a coma, geez). It's almost like the fatigue leaves me just enough energy to focus on one of us and Riley wins.

Tired Daddy=Comedy

One night I asked Mike at the 4am feeding if he would put the dirty diaper in the Diaper Genie and the dirty onesie in the hamper. When I got up at 7am to feed the baby I discovered the onesie in the Diaper Genie! Oops.