Today, I was still tired. So, tired that I put on a pair of Riley's socks by mistake and wore them ALL day. By the way, as it turns out you can only wear baby socks for 8hrs before your feet go numb from loss of circulation. You laugh, but I happen to have a similar pair of ankle socks. At least I'm making progress on the putting on my own shoes and socks front. I really lost hope for a while.
It'll be one year since my spinal fusion surgery in a few weeks. That marks the halfway point to a full recovery from that procedure. My fingers froze for a moment over the keys after I wrote that. Halfway? Can that be right? Must be.
This is going to sound ridiculous, but I can tell things are getting better because I'm falling a lot more. I'm being completely serious. It means first of all that I'm on my feet more. You have to get up to fall down. It also means I'm taking more risks balance-wise. Thinking about things a little less. Becoming more comfortable in my own skin.
After my surgery moving around in my altered body was a little driving a rental car with the emergency brake on for several miles. I have gone through the surgery and recovery process many times in my life, but never as an adult with a baby at home. I really had no idea what to expect from myself after such a major operation. I was very worried the pain would decrease, but I'd never get my mobility back.
Maybe it's the new house, but I feel more positive about things now. As my mom pointed out, more like the "old Katie". I don't feel like anything has changed, but everything feels different. Maybe, my psyche is leading the healing process now. I even made dinner for the first time in a long time. I made baked ziti in my new kitchen. It was amazing probably more than usual because I made it. Now if I can do that more than once a month that would be something. Baby steps.
More moving, more falling, more healing!
No comments:
Post a Comment