Almost the Right Time and Place...

Morning baths are never a good sign, but Riley enjoys an occasional upset in the routine. She loves baths and really any excuse to be in the forbidden bathroom. We've been slowly introducing the idea of the potty for months at this point, because well, why not? So, this morning she comes in and hands me her potty seat right away so I swiftly un-diaper her and place her for potty usage.

As usual she gleams at me as if I've set her atop a golden, jewel encrusted throne. It's probably her beloved Sesame Street potty seat that fills her with joy, but she is getting the idea. I'm positive it's sinking in because she makes a peeing sound and points into the toilet bowl while sitting there as if to say "see Mom I know how it's supposed to go."

Today was no different. She sat happily making her sound effects while I undressed her the rest of the way telling her what a big girl she was up on the potty. I think for me potty training is alot like the idea of labor while I was pregnant, some part of me understands it will come and has strong emotion about it, but mostly I am in complete denial.

Now completely naked Riley stretches up her arms signing "all done" having done nothing but sit and then brings her arms down around me to lower herself to the ground. She'd prefer to get down by herself, but past attempts ended with her foot in toilet water and Mommy mad, so she waits now.

She toddles over to the big bathroom mirror to admire herself sans clothes and perhaps make a few bath toy selections while I begin filling her tub. I hear her "talking" to herself and giggling and then she goes quiet. I immediately feel concerned, but nothing appears to be amiss except that when I call her to get in the bath she doesn't move. One of this girl's first words was bath, it's a highlight of her day. Something is weird here.

I turn back to the tub and shut off the water and that's when I hear her grunt. "No!" I think to myself "she won't." I turned back to see my beautiful naked little girl, who just got off the potty standing next to a pile of her own poop.

I made sure she hadn't touched it and with ninja like precision get it into the potty explaining "No, no Riley we don't go poopy on the floor. It goes in the potty. See?" She came closer, but didn't look in. "Now it's time to flush it away. Say bye, bye poopy in the potty." She waves in the direction of the toilet. She finally takes a good look once the flushing starts. As soon as she recovers from her awe Riley  heads for the tub with the enthusiasm of a skydiver exiting a plane.

I guess we're off to a running start now. I was just glad she didn't wait until I put her in the tub to go.

Please Explain This "According to Plan"

Even though it's Sunday and that is supposed to mean I sleep in and Mike gets up with kids, he did not. Even though the plan was for Riley to stay in her own bed come hell or high water last night, she did not. Even though my computer was supposed to be fixed and ready for me to complete my current photo project for my online mommy group (that I have to finish before my surgery), it is not. Even though I thought (probably assumed without asking) that maybe my mom would stay the night again tonight and be here for my dreaded Monday morning, she isn't. Even though every reason I have for not weaning sounds perfectly logical to me and Mike should understand, he does not.

Today dragged from the first moment I opened my eyes. I tried to enjoy the quiet Sunday morning with the kids and my mom, but I was just so darn tired. Around 11:30 my sleepy, but peaceful attitude was shattered by a malfunctioning VCR (you heard me! I have 20+ years of kids movies built up from my childhood so we have a VCR). It was suddenly infuriating that Mike was still in bed. So, even though the plan was to cook at home until Mike's next paycheck, I decided not to. After the VCR was fixed, the movie over and Riley had napped I had to get out. Mom, Riley and I ran out to grab lunch at McDonalds for everybody so I could regroup.

After lunch Mom left and Riley took another nap. I was antsy and tired of being home so even though it was a school night I jumped at a chance to take Riley to her friend's house to play at 5pm. I knew they would feed us so I instructed Mike to make the pizza in the freezer for Isaac and himself. Again, that plan did not happen.

Riley and I had a great time visiting our friends, but at dinner my usually amazing eater, wasn't. She screamed and screeched and threw food back at me. She has never done that before. When we investigated we found she had one of countless poopy diapers that day, but more disturbing that was her bright red, swollen skin. Even though I had just told the pediatrician with unimaginable relief that she'd been all clear down there for a while, now she wasn't. I could have cried.

When Mike came to pick us up I found myself in the Taco Bell drive through at 9pm with a screaming, tired, rashy baby in the back seat because the boys lost track of time and never ate the pizza. So not the plan.

In the end everyone was fed and in bed by 9:30. There's pizza for another night. The world did not end as a result of not a single thing going according to plan. I was tired, but what's new?

Deep Breath, no time to dwell not today. We can't it's Rex Manning Day...er tomorrow's Monday.

PS-added 9/14: As I sat editing this Miss Roo was happily having naked time to air out the rash and won herself an early bath by pooping all over herself. It was defiantly not in the plan for the evening, nor did it fit in our bedtime routine. Babies!!

Adventures Out In The World

Tuesdays were always mommy group days. Because of the surgery I missed a few weeks and was just itching to get out of the house in general. My amazing mommy group friends had been so supportive and helpful delivering meals, visiting, helping with Riley. One of the girls offered to drive me to group this week. I was thrilled I even put on jeans for the first time since surgery for the occasion.

She pulled up in her four runner and swiftly buckled Riley's carseat into the backseat next to her little man who was snoozing despite kids sing along songs music playing just on the back speakers. Then I pulled myself into the passenger seat while my wheelchair was loaded in the back and we were off. I forgot my parking permit so we parked in the parking garage. It was the last space before the structure went up a floor so it was at a pretty extreme incline, but I was so excited to be there it didn't occur to me to worry.

She unloaded my wheelchair first as Riley stubbornly trying to converse with her sleeping friend in the backseat. I got out of the car and into the chair easily enough. She handed Riley over and we strapped her into the Ergo. She made sure we were settled for a moment and went to get her little one on the other side of the car. I felt the chair starting to tip and focused on keeping my face and voice relaxed for Riley's sake. "Uh-oh" I uttered quietly as I grabbed her head and pressed it to my chest. I braced myself and when we hit the ground I exhaled and looked at Riley who was grinning from ear to ear. Satisfied that she was unharmed and still wanting not to alarm her I called my friend and simply said "we tipped over."

She said "What?!?" dropped her bag and flew around the car. I had been joking the day before if I fell at this point I'd be like a turtle on it's back flailing pointlessly. I was correct. She asked what she should do and I laughed because I had no idea what to tell her. She put Riley back in her carseat and we started with my legs since I could move those and the whole chair was to heavy and at an awkward angle to lift. Then I rolled on my side so she could pull the chair out from under me. I managed to get to my hands and knees and at that point she lifted me into standing position.

Now, back in the chair Riley strapped on and my friend pushing the wheelchair with her little guy on her hip we pressed on. Everyone was so happy to see me and it felt so good to be back. It's astonishing how quickly time passes. Riley is now one of the "older babies" one of her friends from group turned one and the little guy we rode with is walking. As group wore on towards the 2hr mark I felt myself spacing out. My friend approached to inform me I looked pale and she was gonna pull the car around.

As soon as we had loaded up the sky opened up. Good timing. She offered me some chocolate covered almonds which I happily accepted. I've been having blood sugar issues I thinking it just takes a lot of nutrients to heal a wound this big. We sat in my driveway waiting for the rain to let up with two soundly sleeping babies in the back and chatted.

Once I was inside slightly damp with baby in my lap I noticed some "unusual" pain. Mike rushed into another room to take a crisis call from work and Riley who was still dressed in her beautiful white outfit had a diaper explosion. She wanted of course to get off my lap and get poop on whatever she could find, but I fought her and restrained her. The universe loves to overwhelm me. Mike managed to toss me a diaper and a wipes box. The wipes box was empty, ha ha universe. I continued to restrain the baby and breath through pain, but now I was started to lose my calm.

Once I had wipes I held Riley across my legs on her tummy, unfastened her diaper wiped her back, pulled off her bloomers and shirt and then wiped her butt. Once I had her butt clean I pulled the diaper out and rolled her over. Diaper changing without the ability to bend, think about it. I tried to get her to stand up so I could wipe her front, but in true toddler fashion she folded like a lawnchair repeatedly. Once she was clean to the best of my ability I put the diaper down open and tried to sit her on it. I can't support her weight so if she objects we have problems. I kept thinking the last thing I needed was to be peed on right now. Somehow I got her butt covered I laid her back and pulled it through her legs and fastened one side. At this point Riley is furious and the only thing she wants is to get down. Since I refuse to let her the only recourse left to her is to twist and turn like sheets on a clothesline in a hurricane so that I can not fasten the other side. Somehow I overcame my willful and indignant little girl.

With the baby clean I called the Ortho's office and informed that I did my own stunts that morning. They asked me to present myself for x-rays. I called around for help and secured a ride and in one of numerous feats of baby juggling that day another mommy group friend got Riley and I to the Dr. Both babies dozed on her lap in the waiting room while I was subjected to multiple x-rays while the pain crashed in waves. I was in tears when the Dr finished his phone call and came to tell me everything looked fine. I was told to rest and come back if it wasn't better in a week, nice huh? A week.

We got home and after many thank yous I went to bed. Thank you my amazing mommy group, my baby jugglers, my creative diaper manuvers, my cell phone, Extra Strength Tylenol, will power, video on demand, and memory foam I survived.

Toddler, Already???

The cleaning lady comes every Monday. Floors are a big deal because of the baby so we always have her clean all the floors. Last week she had done all of them except the kitchen so Riley crawled in there and when she came out she was chewing something. It's always a trouble when you suddenly notice chewing. You say a silent prayer that it's a Cheerio, but you know it won't be. What could she possibly have you think to yourself all the floors are clean...a small white rock. That's right, a rock. I pulled 2 of them out of her mouth that day.

Later her first tooth appeared and I couldn't help laughing remembering the African baby from Babies teething on a rock. Her front bottom tooth showed up after a particularly bad reoccurring rash and some intermittent crankiness. It was very exciting. She had the tooth 48hrs before she tried to put a toy in her mouth while crawling and bit her lip! Poor pumpkin, bit her lip on her only tooth. She looked so shocked with her bloody lip.

So, other than the rocks Riley lusts after the cat's food. We had to put up a baby gate to deter her. Now she sits on the outside of the gate and watches the kitty eat. Riley loves the kitty. Everything the kitty does is fascinating. The other day the cat was chasing a little beetle and Riley crawled right over for a front row seat to the event. I look into the hallway from the bathroom to see Riley pick something up from the floor and put it in her mouth. I'm yelling at her to spit it out, but I can't get to her. Mike picked her up and ran over to me so I could fish it out. "Oh, a dead bug. Nice Ri...Live bug! live bug. As the beetle goes flying into the bath tub.

Along with teeth comes the disappearing reappearing diaper rash. It's really frustrating and painful. The best thing for it is air so the other day Mike let her play in her super yard diaperless. She was having a great time in there and then all the sudden she stood up yelled to get my attention and pooped right on the carpet.

She also wants to do everything herself and help you with whatever you're doing. She'll reach over and put her little hands on my back to "help" me get into bed and clap for me when I stand up from the couch. It has it's advantages, but the other day she wanted to help carry my phone. The keypad was locked when I handed it to her. She started dancing when it started ringing and I was laughing too hard to be in a hurry to answer it. It was 911 calling me back because Riley had called them and locked my phone in emergency mode. Sigh. Yeah, I think toodlerhood is here.

Funny Daddy

After a particularly gruesome diaper change: "That's what we call a 4wipe 2dipe situation."

When Riley sat up to look at my computer and stuck her thumb in her mouth: "See when she sticks her thumb in her mouth that's like her bowl of popcorn she wants to watch a movie."

He's not the only one either I caught my self singing during her bath the other day: "wash, wash wash. Wash, wash, wash. Wash your booty."

Baby Timing

As soon as you put on a fresh diaper, a fresh onesie or bathe a baby their little radar goes off and they decide to puke or poop. Every time.

The other day I changed Riley's diaper, put her in fresh pajamas and scooped her up in my arms and sat right down in the rocker to feed her and in those 30ish seconds she had a massive poop. I don't even think my butt touched the seat. On many, many occasions I pick out a beautiful outfit that I'm all excited about her wearing and she expresses her opinion about my choice by vomiting all over it. The trickiest part is that once I change her into the ho hum back-up onesie from the baby bag she never gets it dirty...

Not Just the Boys...

I babysat a ton growing up so I came to parenthood with a diaper changing strategy. I always put the new unfolded daiper under the butt before I unfasten the old one, just in case. Even when you get prepared, sometimes ninja like reflexes are required.

On one occasion while Riley was still in the hospital we had back to back diaper changes where daddy got peed on one day and a poop fountain the next! You heard me, poop fountain. It was amazing, it went over the side of the crib and hit the chair several inches away as well as the floor (and poor daddy). The NICU nurses who see this kind of thing all the time were still talking (and laughing) about it the next day. Too bad we didn't video that!

That's What She Laughs At!?!?