Surg-er-yyyy Day

Last minutes snags rained down on me, but I was determined to be positive. Grandma's car broke down eliminating our plan b to pick up Isaac. Boo came down with a rash and was waiting to hear whether she was contagious possibly eliminating Riley's plans. It turned out Boo was ok. Just as I breathed a sigh of relief Riley peed on the floor in front of potty and Isaac annoyed his friend right out the door. Sigh, not the restful night I hoped for.

I super hydrated all night to prevent the cottonmouth I woke up with last time. I got up before the alarm thank you time change. Riley was thrilled to be up before the sun. She was stunned that Mommy wasn't sending her back to bed. She was totally trilled that today was her slumber party with Boo. After a hiccup getting my car started we were underway.

My long goodbye made Riley's brow furrow, but she's a tough cookie. Isaac bounded up to my dad's promising to be extra helpful while I was gone. Go team. We got to the hospital just before 7:30am. After paper work we went up to Pre-Op waiting. This was the first time I'd been in there without Riley. When I saw all the people waiting I was overwhelmed. Luckily, the nurse I had the last two times was my nurse again. It was comforting, even if this is not the place I wanted to be a regular.

As usual I was last in line. They didn't come to get me until 11:00am. So many hours of waiting with an empty stomach. I remember "ok now's the the time for hugs and kisses" and then nothing.

When I woke up I was in a room and Mike was by my side. I could hear everyone in the room, but my eyes were having a hard time focusing. Mike read something to me I haven't clue what. I begged him not to go. After that my mom came by and I called Riley to say good night. It's all blur after that.

The Eve of Surgery

I'm so tired today. Part of it is the time change, but mostly I'm a ball of nerves over the surgery. I slept pretty well, but I was up super early. We took the kids to a playground and then we all went to lunch. It was nice. I'm going to miss the kids so much. To avoid my emotions and for practical reasons we came home and cleaned. I got all the dishes done and toys picked up. Mike took down and stored all the Halloween odds and ends.

I blogged for a few minutes before Riley was up from her nap. I was so grateful for the distraction when she woke up. I painted her toe nails pink as per her request. After that Mike took the kids for a bike ride and I packed Riley's bag. She'll be staying overnight with Boo on Monday and coming home after their dance class Tuesday. I needed to do it so that I felt like she was ready. I also really didn't want her to be ready because that would mean it was really happening. The extra hour is miserable I keep thinking it's so much later than it is!

I put like items in gallon ziplocs:

• Pajamas: Bug Night Gown, Piggy PJs and Castle PJs (She'll be wearing one pair over Monday morning and I wanted her to be able to choose that night.)
• Outfits: I packed 3 pants/shirt combinations, a dress and one pair of spare shorts. I listed what went with what on the outside of the bag. Just for variety sake. Miss Roo can be particular about her clothes.
• Undies: 4pairs in a sandwich size bag
• Socks: 4pairs, 2 solid color non-slips and 2 patterned pars
• Shoes: 2pairs, sneakers and slip-ons
• Hair clips: I put them in a snack baggie. I also packed her brush and de-tangler spray.
• Toothbrush and Toothpaste: I'll also pack them in a snack baggie after she brushes her teeth tonight. I left the labeled baggie out where I could see it with a post it reminding me to also grab piggy pillow and Yogi (the bear her Grandpa gave her that she sleeps with).
• Wearing there: She'll wear her jammies, kitty flip flops and her hooded sweatshirt over in the morning.

I'm so sad about not seeing her for two days, but so proud of my highly organized overnight bag.

The first time I had surgery I asked people to bring Riley everyday. She was 8mos and still breastfeeding when they shoved the rod in my spine. Isaac came twice, but it was too scary for him. His reaction made me feel guilty. The next time when they pulled the pins out of my hip Riley was 14mo old and weaned. She hung out with Boo a lot, but not overnight. I asked Mike not to bring Isaac at all that time.

This time Riley is 2yrs 2mo old and very independent. I've asked that niether of the kids come to the hospital until I'm discharged. I hope I'm up to phone calls the first night. I'm planning on being in and out a day or two. Fingers crossed.

Garage Sale Day

Garage sale day or my last big distraction before surgery. Get up early on a Saturday, no problem I do that every week. Purge clothes and toys, needed to do that anyway. Haul two car loads of stuff and the kids over to the location, no problem they love to play with their cousins. Setting up ALL that stuff was when I began to wonder about my decision.

I had Mike drive over with me and unload. After that I sent him on his way and the kids and I took the first shift. It was a rather impressive amount of stuff between all of us. I was hoping to pocket a little money to go in the wedding fund, but mostly I just wanted to get rid of the stuff. Mike gave me some change this morning and said if I made more profit then the $20ish change he gave me he'd be shocked. I sent all kinds of toys and clothes to new homes. I sent all kinds of baby gear off with moms-to-be. I was happier to see it go than to make some money. However, I was thrilled to shock Mike with my take.

At lunch time Mike scooped up the kiddos. They had been well fed by then and were ready to crash. I stayed a few more hours before the waves of customers had slowed to less than a trickle. Then I was thoroughly depressed at the amount of crap I had to load up. I enlisted help to load the car. When I called home Mike remarked on how "beat" I sounded. I realized that he was very right. Although I had a grand plan of going by the clothing donation bin I didn't have the energy.

I came home and took a long nap. When I woke up I had the startling feeling that now there's only surgery to look forward to. Oh, no. What have I left undone? What horrible world shaking mistakes have I made? What consequences will my family suffer in my short absence? I feel completely depressed about my inadequacies and apathetic about things intermittently.

I'll do my best to blog from the hospital, but that didn't work out last time. We'll see.

Building Up...

Yesterday was the slowest day of my life. I had dinner ready and warming in the crock pot by 3:00pm. I was willing the minutes by. Today is the opposite. Where is it going? I've been pre-registered and now actually register and at 6am Monday they'll check me in for surgery.

I have a defiant toddler, a-slobby-work-obsessed-doesn't-know-how-to-react-to-my-stress partner, an eight year old with his eye on his birthday party and a feeling of being completely overwhelmed. It's awful how run down I feel from all the preparing. I'm just in slow motion today.

I really, really wanted to go to the toy store today. I hallucinated for a moment that I could take Riley, but that was not going to happen. I snunk away in the afternoon and wondered the aisles. It was fun. After today's trip we just need Isaac's big present which I think we have to order online and I earned a $10 gift card for today. My kids are essentially done and Mike and I aren't doing gifts for each other this year so I have get going on my DIY projects for the extended family.

Honestly, I could get each kid at least five more things, but I have to keep in check this year. I sent my annual wish list to the grandparents with a lot of the toys I'm not getting so I feel better. Speaking of toys people aren't getting there wasn't a single one of those dolls on the shelf in this store. It's a conspiracy. I'm glad I have one tucked away. Phew.

The Dr. B's office called when we were walking to meet Isaac and it turns out we don't have to be there as early as I thought, so that's something. Easier for kid drop off, harder on my poor empty belly.

Riley Makes Mommy Cry and Laugh

I've been trying to take everything in stride and remember I wouldn't see my baby for 48hrs very soon. There's been a lot of quality time and memory making moments overall. I really do love my girl. It's just tricky because we've entered the oppositional stage two-year-olds are famous for. I get that she needs to practice being assertive, but when it's aimed at you 12hrs a day for almost an entire week it wears thin.

She's usually so agreeable and sweet. This week she's been to time out more times than she has been in her whole short existence. For awful things like hitting Mommy. It's hard to take her places. I tried to bring her with me to the store for my stock up before surgery trip. Big Mistake. It went something like this:
Riley, do you what Blueberry or Apple nurti-grain bars (her favorite)?
No!
Oh, you don't want any. (walking away)
No. I don't like it. I don't! Go back.
Can you ask nicely?
Pleee-ase! nutri-grain bars.
(I put them in the cart)
(she reaches back and picks up the box)
Are you gonna hold them? Thank you helper.
(Pause)No!(she tosses them on the floor)
So much fun. Cryptic answers and erratic behavior really mess with your concentration. I must have made 3 round trips of that stupid store picking up stuff I forgot. Also, it is clear we are in a phase where it is no longer the best plan to get her a cookie at the bakery before we start shopping. I miss when she munched quietly and calmly through the store.

I was living Llama Llama Mad At Momma today. It was bad, but I'm fairly confident it will pass. She is a sweet one at heart. On a lighter note Riley's been watching my old VHS copy of The My Little Pony Movie and apparently she picked up some phrases. Yesterday at the coffee shop while waiting for “Grandma Dorween” she exclaimed "What will become of us." It was pretty stinking cute, but I'm glad I recognized the context. At the store today she said "Never break promise, never!" Ponies strike again. She delivers these with perfect emotion and inflection. She does her actress Mommy proud. I laughed so hard I cried.

The "IT" Toy

Ok, I fully admit before I had kids I remember thinking the people trampling each other for Tickle Me Elmo were certifiable. I also remember a Christmas or two as a kid where I either didn't get my heart's desire or it didn't work. Somewhere between a childless person's lack of understanding and a child's disappointment when the magic of Christmas lets them down is the true reality of a parent on the trail of their child's desired toy at Christmas.

Last year it was the Mickey Mouse that danced. People were getting twice what he retailed for on Ebay. Greedy soulless people who went to toy stores in September/October and bought toys so they could exploit desperate parents in the holiday season. I looked for him earlier in the year, but there were never any on the shelf. I was going to skip it, but I ended up buying one on Ebay. What can I say? I love Christmas and it was such a cool toy. We'd had a rough end to the year that year the kids deserved a big Christmas.

The year before that Isaac wanted this stupid wrist watch thingy that figures snapped onto and lit up. To find it and the figures that went with it took months and was so stressful. We're talking multiple WalMart trips in December (shudder). We didn't have resort to Ebay in this case. By the time we found it I would've paid more to have been able to skip all the work.

This year Riley wanted a certain doll. I bought her early because I'm trying to spread out Christmas expenses and keep them in check. Plus I was there and she was on sale, yay! When I bought her she was one of only two on the shelf, in October. Maybe they'll get five more shipments before December, but somehow I doubt it. When I got home I looked up a different toy and found people selling the doll I'd just purchased for two and even three times what I had just paid. Where do they get off?

Do the toy companies do this on purpose? Are they controlling supply to drive up prices like with diamonds? I bet they do. It's endlessly frustrating and a little cruel.

The kicker is that the stupid Omnitrix thing we tracked down for Isaac was broken a month later.

Post Halloween

In the post sugar and excitement light of morning Riley woke up and exclaimed "More goblins coming tonight!" She was a little put out that Halloween has ended. She decided the consolation price to more Trick-Or-Treating would be candy for breakfast. She was sad when I did not agree with that plan. Instead I agreed to let her wear her costume and submitted to her request for Mac and Cheese and chocolate milk for breakfast. So, she sat happily munching her cheesy noodles in Rainbow Brite attire while watching Tangled. Don't you wish you were two?

I cleaned out her clothes and toys yesterday in preparation for the garage sale (and surgery). I re-organized her room and more importantly her play kitchen in the living room. Now there's a whole toy bin for play food in the corner and no huge tub of miscellaneous toys in the living room, yay! I also stacked all her dishes in the cabinet and put all her pots and pans in the oven. She and Isaac were in full hamster mode checking out all the changes. It was cute. Even though there's nothing new it was like Christmas watching them re-discover toys that had been buried in bins previously or on closet shelves.

House-wise, I've gotten most of what I wanted accomplished done. The kids' rooms are clean and orderly. Mike's closet is functional and I even cleaned out my car. I'd still like to re-organize the kitchen and I must re-organize the bedroom shelves. Tick, tock. Wasn't I just saying I had two weeks? Now I have 6 days. They called and pre-registered me for surgery yesterday.

The only way I know to cope is to stay to busy and not think about it too much. I'm focused on the garage sale this coming weekend and Isaac's party the weekend after surgery is just an appointment I have in between. Sigh...