Finding Oz

We recently watched a Star Trek Deep Space Nine episode in which the main character was "disabled." Technically, all disability and disease has been eradicated at this point in the future. This woman is native to a planet with very low gravity which makes it very physically exhausting to get around in normal gravity. I know how she feels, Damn Gravity! Seriously, I love the idea that a low gravity planet exists! I would love to go there. When I was a little girl I always wished I could live underwater.

So, this capable young woman finds the station's doctor smitten with her and of course he has a plan to fix her. Collective groan from my disabled readers. Although not as overdone or ridiculous the sitcom stand by of meeting a girl you like and then finding out she's (gasp!) disabled and having angst about perusing her, this plot's been done. My favorite example of this plot is actually a subplot in The Poisonwood Bible. A book that when presented to me as a gift bore the inscription "Can't wait to see you play Ada in the movie." Ada's is the disabled character who falls for a neurologist. Her doctor succeeds in "fixing" her and then one of my favorite audition monologues ensues. The gist is that she's not sure who she is anymore and how arrogant the able-bodied are always trying to "fix" people.

In Star Trek's version the doctor falls for her before he tries to fix her unlike the the asshole in the book. Other than that it's fairly similar. She undergoes the first round of treatment and experiences euphoria at her temporary change. Then she feels all the discomfort that goes hand and hand with a major change to your physicality and she starts to doubt herself. I emphasized with her struggle. She is already a strong beautiful woman who's struggles have made who she is, in her case a Star Fleet officer. In her situation though there is the added element of never being able to return to her home planet for any length of time once the changes are permanent. Another character compares her to the Little Mermaid which is funny after my underwater comparison, but completely apt. All the sacrifice and pain to be other than you are (each step is like walking on broken glass in the original fairy tale)and you can never go home.

I enjoyed the episode other than a fleeting moment or two of yelling at the screen. I understood her. I, like her have never asked to be "fixed", but there were some moving moments related to this in Oz the Great and Powerful (not spoilers). As he's performing magic tricks a wheelchair bound girl in the audience asks him to make her walk. He refuses, apologizes and flees the theater. At that early point in the film I was attempting to roll my eyes at the cliche, but his reaction to it was so human, I couldn't. Later, in Oz, he meets a little China doll whose legs have broken off. He produces super glue and that girl does walk. Again, I wanted to roll my eyes, but it was so real (feelings not circumstances) I couldn't. It is a shallow victory because she has her legs, but she's lost everyone she loved.

The china doll was a character I could relate to. Only her body was fragile, everything else about her was tough. She was braver and more resilient than most. She becomes an important part of the group, but the Star Trek character like so many disabled TV characters leaves the show after one episode. I think the it would have been fascinating if the doctor had married her. Than they would have had to navigate being military, living in space and her unique physicality. On top of which the doctor would allows be trying to fix her and it would cause all kinds of tension.

I'm not saying I would watch a show because it had a disabled character. I'm just saying we have lives and adventures too. It would be nice if television used disabled characters to further interesting plot lines and complicate character relationships rather than as token minorities for "movie of the week" style writing.

Happy Birthday, Leeloo!

My furry baby is one! Happy birthday big lady!

The Pre-School Precipice

I toured a preschool today. It was entirely different than the kindergarten last week. I felt more confident and not at all out of place. It was their job to impress me. I didn't worry much. It would work out or it wouldn't. I was hoping it would go well, but I knew I'd figure it out. I've been spoiled for a long time which makes a difficult task that much more frustrating. You simply can not replace the irreplaceable. You can only move forward even if it's at a limping pace.

When I did my research I was optimistic. The phone call that followed confirmed this was a possible option. I even spoke to a few parents who have/had kids in this program.
Their website describes them thus:

The [Someone I've Never Heard Of]Approach guides children’s learning through the use of a negotiated curriculum directed by the interests of the child, with an emphasis on ongoing projects. This model is based upon the following; children must have some control over the direction of their learning, must be able to learn through the experiences of touching, moving, seeing, and hearing, and must have endless ways and opportunities to express themselves.

I arrived right on time for my tour. Most of my questions had to do with class size and logistics. The kids seemed happy and engaged. Most of the classroom had 3-4 small groups working on different activities. The rooms all had wonderful artwork and craft projects on display. It seemed like a fun place to learn. So fun in fact that there wasn't a single opening in Riley's age group. The max class size is 15 and all the rooms had at least two teachers.

I had assumed when I told her on the phone that I was looking for something right away and she didn't immediately tell me that was a problem that there was a spot. It turned out there was one coming up, but nothing now. I deflated like a balloon. I thought the distance and adjustment to a 5 day a week school schedule were going to be the only obstacles. I pressed on with my questions, but felt discouraged. I wanted to run away crying, but I shook her hand and promised to get back to her shortly.

I bemoaned not knowing where Riley would be in a few weeks and then started to go over the options we'd already ruled out in my head. March is an awkward time to change schools because the academic year is almost over and summer session is a few months away. I decided to pick up Riley early again. Part of me was glad she won't be away from me five days a week anytime soon. I like our routine and I enjoy Riley's company so much.

By the end of the day I was able to work out Riley's situation and convince Mike that the distance would actually work in our favor. I'm calling in morning to let her know we're taking the spot. I'm so grateful that I will have a transition period before both my kids are at school all week. Don't you love/hate being on the verge of things changing forever?

Nerd in Training

Riley dressed herself head to toe this morning. She picked out and put on everything you see in the picture. She even got those tights on correctly. When I told her she looked cute she said "Oh, good! I so wanted to wear my star wars shirt!"

Unfortunately Mommy wasn't as on the ball as little Roo this morning. It wasn't until walking through the library doors that I remembered there was no story time this week.So, we picked out some books and then headed out to the playground since it was such a nice day.

Riley made some new friends and seemed to really enjoy herself. At one point she was chasing her friend around the playground yelling "I'm a Jedi!I'm a Jedi!"

To The Ortho: The Next Generation

It was Isaac's turn to visit the Othro today. He'd grown out of (and destroyed) his brace and I was hoping to circumvent a full fledged check up and just swing through the brace shop, but apparently he was over-do. So, we picked him up early from school and arrived late for his 2:30pm appointment. We didn't leave the waiting room until 5pm, but they made up for it by giving us A WHOLE BOX of thin mints!! Number 5,004 on the list of reasons kids' orthopedic appointments are better than grown ups.

We waited so long for the Doctor they felt bad and gave us a box of Samoas as well. The good news doesn't end with girl scout cookies though. The doctor was pleased with Isaac's muscle development, growth, etc. She decided to downgrade him from his AFO to an arch support. He could not have been more thrilled. She wants him to try it for 4-6mo and then she'll re-evaluate. The picture above is him pressing his foot into foam to make a mold for the arch support. The woman doing it has known me since I was Riley's age and made many of my braces.

Speaking of "Over the years" I spotted myself not once, but three times on the photo collages in the waiting room.

Can you say early 90's school picture, anyone? Oh! The bangs!

I wasn't much oldr than Riley is now in this one. I think I'm holding up a book of children's prayers, but I am postive that I am rocking some pink sweat pants.

NERD ALERT! The glasses years. I was wearing a dress the same color as my pink wheelchair in this one. Look at those cheesey colored lights in the background, those were so cool.

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss!!

We woke up and excitedly dawned our Seuss-y-est attire. Riley wore her Cat in the Hat dress and I borrowed Mike's Grinch shirt. First, we headed off to the Dr. Seuss Book Bash at our library.

After the festivities there, we went home for lunch. The menu? You guessed it. Green eggs and ham!!

We read One Fish Two Fish before nap. After nap we made Oobelck! Click for the recipe. It's very easy and fast to make, but dried corn starch takes awhile to clean up. It's not difficult to clean up just time consuming. I'm told you can save it and reconstitute it with a little water, but I didn't try it.

It was A LOT of fun. We added a splash of extract to the recipe so it smelled nice too. Riley made pink coconut scented Oobleck. Isaac decided to stay true to the book and make his green. He attempted to make his smell like root beer, but it was subtle.

Today was good.
Today was fun.
Tomorrow is another one

Into the Future!

I toured my first choice option for Riley's kindergarten. I was a nervous wreck. I had that feeling I remember from touring my collage while I was still a senior in High School. The feeling of being a fraud. I can't really be thinking about my baby's Elementary school career. It was completely surreal. I fussed over what to wear the entire day before and then thanks to the chilly weather this morning I had to go back to the drawing board. I went from a cute skirt to jeans dressed up with ballet flats and a cute top. Did I look like someone's mom? Did they see me and think I was lost on my way to high school? I don't know...

I arrived about 10mins early which gave me time to wolf down a granola bar and check that Riley had gotten off to school ok. I found the drive pleasant enough. It'll take us about 15-20min each way on school days, but it's not a terrible route. I liked how tucked away the school itself was. A few blocks in from any major roads in a quiet neighborhood. Feeling very much like I'd snuck backstage at a concert I headed up the sidewalk towards the bright red door. I was greeted by a friendly woman who said "Oh! Good Morning, you must be our visitor." She found the teacher I was meeting and I got a quick tour of the whole school (It's not a big place)as the kids settled in. The first thing I noticed was that they allowed the parents to walk their kids into their classrooms and say goodbye. Wonderful. At Isaac's old school they allowed it for the first week of kindergarten ONLY. You were treated like a criminal for even attempting to walk past the front gates after that.

I enjoyed the children in the kindergarten classroom very much. They reminded me of my kids, they were bright and inquisitive and very silly. There a was mutual respect between children and adults I found very reassuring. I loved the intimate class sizes and the way they nurtured creativity. It seemed like a wonderful place to learn. It is still my first choice for Riley, no question.

After a few hours I felt very anxious to get home. Maybe it was that weird feeling of being a fraud or maybe I was just tired. I hated feeling so secure in what will happen down the road, but not a clue where Riley will be next month. More than anything I just missed her. I didn't see her in the morning and than I spent time with all these 5yr olds (who seem huge compared to Roo) and I just wanted to see her. I picked her up early today.