Follow Up...Wait, I Had Something For This...

I had been eagerly counting the days until I saw the shoulder doctor again. I was sure it would mark the end of physical therapy. I thought he'd come in and ask if it was better I'd say it was and he'd send me on my way. I thought if I promised to keep up with my exercises it would be the end of the whole shoulder ordeal. Have I mentioned that I'm wrong a lot?

He did come in and ask if was better, but instead of sending me on my way he insisted I finish out my last two PT appointments. He then went on to tell me that it would be a minimum of SIX MONTHS (minimum not total) of daily commitment to this exercise program before it heals properly. I'm sure my expression was aghast because he repeated this tidbit two more times. He kept telling me how important it was to make sure I was solid on these exercises so I can continue them for the next six months on my own. He even said he was "harping on it, but only because it's so important." It was especially important for me he said with a sideways glance at the crutches. Then he said there were surgical options, but he didn't think that would work for me since it would force me to be one armed for a few months. I assured him surgery wasn't on the table no matter how long or short recovery would be. He was fine with that and probably only brought it up because of my shock at the timeline.

I left the Ortho's office and popped into PT to make my last two appointments. When we got in the car I explained it to Isaac this way:
Imagine you stubbed your toe. Really, really stubbed it so badly you went to the doctor. Which was annoying because, you're at the doctor for a stubbed toe. The doctor tells to to go to physical therapy for it. You think, "for a toe?!?" You go and your toe starts to feel better. At which point you're sure it's a problem-solved-situation. You go back to the doctor and he tells you it'll be a minimum of six months before your toe is healed and he this it's imperative that it heals properly.

I hate that everyone acknowledges the crutches as a big factor in the problem AND points to them as the reason why I have to fix it. F*&^ the crutches. I HATE them. I spent the better part of my life without mobility devices (excluding the wheelchair as needed). The crutches are annoying, they are inconvenient and they are hurting me. I say it's time to ditch them. Time will tell...

Something New at the Ortho...

I called my "back liberation squad" after the second back attack to report it. I informed the nurse that I was a genius who only needed two severe pain episodes that started suddenly and lasted hours to figure out their cause. I explained the shoulder blade connection, smugly. I wish I had more exciting things to be smug over. She promised to relay the info and I hung up. As long as my feet-dragging lasted I had finally done the right thing. Good job, me. Now there would surely be a return call applauding my deduction and a decree to "take it easy" (yeah. right.)

The response was, "We'd like you to see our shoulder guy, immediately." Now I was full on throwing a toddler style tantrum internally because: It's NOT fair! They scheduled me with the shoulder guy less than 48hrs after the phone call. Those jerks! Were did they get off! Being all concerned about this? Dammit. Damn, damn, damn. Here I was all "I just have to not pop my shoulder blades out." Then they're all "cause for concern...blah...see the specialist?" Who has time for all that noise? Geez.

Seriously, I start to unravel at the suggestion. What if the loose hardware windshield wiper-ing my soft tissues left more than just scar tissue behind? What if this is serious? What if they can take the shoulder blade pain away (after four long years)? What if it's another fracture? What if it's a spinal tumor? Ok, seriously why do doctors always feel compelled to share worse case scenarios with me all the time? Their horror stories haunt me at times like these.

It was an unusually long wait, over an hour. I was cold and I'd forgotten my book. I read all the anatomy charts on the walls (not good for my run away imagination). My mom texted me at this point and asked where I was. I told her the Ortho and followed that with "I live here now." She asked if we'd be holding my sister's birthday party there. "Of course", I replied, "we'll have a cast pinata and ace bandage streamers! It'll be perfect." Shortly after this conversation ended I was finally lead to radiology.

My appointment finally began with some more bone modeling. I have to say shoulder x-rays are the advanced class! Back x-ray: stand with your back to the board. Hip x-ray: lay down and turn your foot out. Shoulder x-ray? Stand here, a little more to your left, good. Now point your feet this way, but keep your torso straight. Now turn slightly to your right, not that far, a little more, good. Now put your left arm across your body and rest your hand on your waist. Higher, too high...there! Now hold your breath and don't move!!

X-rays looked good. Range of motion looked good. For a minute I thought he'd say "take it easy" and send me home. No dice. The x-ray process flared up the pain and the exam made it worse. Stupid shoulder blade, everyone knows once you make the doctor appointment the pain is supposed to go away! Duh. Anyway, he claims I have a muscle imbalance which seems likely. Then he writes me a prescription for four weeks of shoulder physical therapy. SIGH! There goes the ignore it for another 4 years approach.

Back Attack

Over the weekend I was typing and my whole left leg went numb. It didn't fall asleep. There weren't pins and needles, I just couldn't feel it. I stood up and after a few minutes I felt burning in the bottom of my foot. Mike rubbed my leg while I tried my best to stomp my foot. Stomping has never been easy for me, bad balance. It was a long time before the burning spread up my calf. Once the burning ended I had feeling in my leg again in time for it to be hella sore! After an hour or so I was fine and I almost forgot about it entirely.

Then on Tuesday night I was sitting on the edge of the bed helping Miss Roo turn her pajama shirt right side in when I was struck by the most intense pain. My eyes welled up with tears and I had to lay down. It was a deep spasm, somewhere in between my back and my stomach. I'm not a wimp. I've had back spasms tons of times, but these were serious buggars! They just keep going all evening, waking me up during the night and on into the morning hours.

My back was raw when they stopped. I always have pain after I've had spasms. I call it the "spasm hangover". After an involuntary 10 hour workout...sore doesn't even touch it. I sucked it up and got the kids off to camp, but by the afternoon it was clear my normal coping technique of ignoring it wasn't working so well. I called the orthopedic while I waited in the car for Isaac. To my astonishment, after a little financial business was concluded, they got me an appointment for 48hrs later! Unheard of.

Their concern and prompt appointment slot kind of scared me. Later that night I wondered for the first time if my leg issue over the weekend could be related. Pinched nerve? Had I broken something? Then again, maybe it was nothing. I was still hurting when I marched into the doctor's office with Isaac in tow Friday morning. I waited ten minutes past my appointment time, nothing serious. The x-ray tech was amused because not only was I completely metal-free in my attire, but I assumed the position for each x-ray without any instructions. "I guess you've done this before." Yeah, once or twice.

The ortho said everything looked good bone-wise. Phew. He said his "red flag was slightly raised", but for now I just needed to calm the pain down and let him know if it happens again. I sure hope not. There's a possibility of something else going on that wouldn't be visible on an x-ray, but he seemed happy which made me feel better. He gave me a prescription for something new. A topical anti-inflammatory/muscle relaxer cream. I don't take pills if it can be at all avoided. I don't like to feel dopey. I'm a mother of two I have to be alert. The idea of circumventing the conventional pill sending medicine soup into the bloodstream (and long term damage the kidneys or liver), but a cream that absorbs into the effected area is exciting. He assures me only 10% gets into your bloodstream. The downside is it's very new and has to be specially made so I have to wait for it to come in the mail.

Ortho Follow Up

Before I begin this post in ernst let me just take a moment to aplogize for the boring titles! October has been so spectacularly busy and I just haven't gotten into the title grove as I play catch up editing posts I started in October and am finally publishing in November! Sigh...

Today, fresh off the excitement of Fall Family Fun Night at Isaac's school we were up and out the door early. Mike had a normal work day. Miss Roo gets to hang out with her class AND the class next door on days when the big kids' teachers are off. Isaac got to go to a school's out program called Spooky Science. The lucky duck! They're going to meet creepy creatures, make static ghosts and have a mummy race among other things. What about me, you ask? I get to go to my whatever week post op follow up. Did you catch that? I lost count of how long it has been. It means I'm recovering or that I've been insanely busy and overdoing it. So, I knew this appointment could go either way...

It was kind of a blur honestly, but my only concern was that I've been having chest pain. A lot of it since coming from the hospital. I assumed, it was stress and said nothing. After awhile I complained to Mike, but refused to it discuss with my doctor. Then I got scared and decided I'd bring it up at this appointment. When Mike and I discussed it last night we realized (of course!) that it hadn't happened since I decided to tell my doctor about it, but it was still worth mentioning.

I asked the doctor if chest pain could be a result of position during surgery or something of that nature. He said no, but after a longer chat on the subject we decided that lots of laying flat and Advil were giving me acid reflux which can cause chest pain. So, it was probably stress/anxiety and acid reflux causing the issue. Especially, since it almost disappeared once I stopped laying down and Advil almost entirely.

Other than that issue though the doctor was pretty pleased with my progress. We both agree the surgery was the right thing to do. The part of my back that bothers me most is apparently the area with the "most movement" and I still need to adjust, Isn't that weird. He says I'm dismissed, basically if I need anything give them a call, but that's it. The back hardware removal process is of for the orthopedic surgeons.

To The Ortho: The Next Generation

It was Isaac's turn to visit the Othro today. He'd grown out of (and destroyed) his brace and I was hoping to circumvent a full fledged check up and just swing through the brace shop, but apparently he was over-do. So, we picked him up early from school and arrived late for his 2:30pm appointment. We didn't leave the waiting room until 5pm, but they made up for it by giving us A WHOLE BOX of thin mints!! Number 5,004 on the list of reasons kids' orthopedic appointments are better than grown ups.

We waited so long for the Doctor they felt bad and gave us a box of Samoas as well. The good news doesn't end with girl scout cookies though. The doctor was pleased with Isaac's muscle development, growth, etc. She decided to downgrade him from his AFO to an arch support. He could not have been more thrilled. She wants him to try it for 4-6mo and then she'll re-evaluate. The picture above is him pressing his foot into foam to make a mold for the arch support. The woman doing it has known me since I was Riley's age and made many of my braces.

Speaking of "Over the years" I spotted myself not once, but three times on the photo collages in the waiting room.

Can you say early 90's school picture, anyone? Oh! The bangs!

I wasn't much oldr than Riley is now in this one. I think I'm holding up a book of children's prayers, but I am postive that I am rocking some pink sweat pants.

NERD ALERT! The glasses years. I was wearing a dress the same color as my pink wheelchair in this one. Look at those cheesey colored lights in the background, those were so cool.

Hardware Removal 2012

I refused to think for even a moment about what was happening. I focused on holidays, day to day domestic stuff and well anything else. I gave it the smallest studio apartment in NYC amount of space with a month to month lease. It wasn't a surgical event it was just another thought knocking around in my brain. How'd that work? Well, I survived.

The night before I ran errands, ate a big late dinner of surf and turf (Can you call it that when it isn't lobster?) and drank water until the last second. Generally, we have to rush around before it's light out on surgery days, but this one was slated for noon. We got all the kids dropped off and still had time to kill.

Mike took me to Lowes in my pajamas (and belly rumbling)! We wondered around and picked up some little things. Mike found this pretty fiber optic Santa village, but the display was the last one in the store. We aren't really "Christmas village" people, so believe me when I say this one is special. My socially anxious husband sought out an employee and then waited while he raised himself up in a ladder bucket dealy to grab the box for us.

I was starting to panic (but also highly amused) as we left. "Sorry we're late doctor my husband just had to have a Santa village!" We made it on time and everything ran super smoothly. Through admitting, up to pre-op, checked in and changed by 10:50am. Then we sat undisturbed for an hour surfing cyber Monday sales and joking about being forgotten (a girl can hope).

In an unprecedented turn of events the surgeon was the first person we saw. He bounded in like we were in a coffee shop and marked my hip. They all have to write on you where they're going to operate since that guy lost the wrong leg a few years back. Then he asked if I wanted to go home afterwards. He smiled as he told Mike how he ordinarily keeps people overnight, but I could "handle it" because I'm "tough." I promised to be good. They always say "see you soon", but you don't ever see them because you're under so it's hard to know how to respond. I went with "ok."

It was the weirdest thing, the anesthesiologist appeared, the scrub nurse, the pre-op nurse all at once after all that quiet. I felt like a car descended on by a pit crew. Questions asked, IV in, drugs in IV and GO! GO! GO! I'm not complaining, it was a nice change of pace.

I had to stay in recovery for over an hour because I was cold. 94.4 degrees the nurse said. Weird. They kept covering me with blankets and taking my temperature. She asked about pain and I told her it just felt swollen, but I wasn't allowed ice for a while. It was back up to pre-op once I was living person temperature again. Mike was frazzled. He left to meet Isaac after school, but I had to stay an hour with no problems in order to be released.

It was the fast food style hospital visit, in and out. Strange. It was no fuss all the way around: no lengthy pre-surgery to do list, no scheduling drama, no admission, no begging to be discharged. I think most of my family forgot it was even happening, expect for my poor mom who had Riley last minute and got kidnapped on the way home from the hospital to help out. I also had a super thoughtful friend bring dinner and take Riley for a few hours Tuesday. Thank goodness for them both because the down side to not thinking about it is that I didn't make any plans for being incapacitated.

There weren't any messages or texts waiting for me when I got home (aka before the drugs wore off). so I made "check in" calls to a few people changed my status and passed out. It seems obvious already this is going to be more painful than I expected.

One Down...

Rejected Titles for This Post:

• Hip, Hip Boo!
• I'm a real Hip-ster.
• Hip me out here.
• Hip me baby one more time.
• It's Hip to be Square.
• It's a real Hip shot.
• Pelvis has left the building!
• The old ball and socket.
• Count me with the femurs...
• When you wish upon a scar...
• On pins and needles.
• Screw you, hip.
• Damn, HIPpies
• She's had her hips done.

You laughed at my horrible, horrible puns. Now you're vindicated for only clicking the link that brought you here to see if they were gonna cut me open again. Here's the dilly from today: I was right.

Also, before I get too cocky: I admit to being the idiot who made an 8am appt across town and no arrangements for Miss Roo. The Ortho's new scheduling lady wasn't in so I don't have a date, but we're yanking some screws. He said it's "no big deal" and "if I insisted" he could do it "day surgery" (no overnight admission). When I asked about weight bearing he said there are no restrictions. I'm relieved, but at the same time...last time they took hardware out my back broke. I'm sure in more capapble hands that kind of thing is less likely, but it's hard to shake.

That's all there is today. Hip surgery in the works for soon. Next update will contain less puns I promise.