Day 2 of the Pump and Dump 2010

So, I'm giving fair warning this post isn't for the faint of heart (aka boys may stop here).

I got through the hours after my appointment yesterday and felt like I was hanging by a thread. I slept like a rock and speaking of rocks...I have NEVER woken up so engorged in my life. My right breast was so painful my eyes teared up. I wasn't expecting that since I pumped every two hours after the appointment.

I also had some very painful blocked ducts (like golf balls under your skin) on the outside. Every time I lifted my arm the skin tugged. After making it through 6mo of breastfeeding without mastitis the thought that it could happen when I'm not even feeding the baby seemed totally ridiculous and entirely possible.

It hadn't occurred to me that feeding the baby and pumping leading up to the appointment would amp up my production big time. Just in time for me not to be able to keep any of it! So, pumping and pumping and 4 phone calls to the lactation department at the hospital later I'm feeling better. At least the ducts are clear, two overflowing storage bottles onto myself and the carpet later. ):

It's still depressing, her prolonged hunger cry still tears me up and I realized the extra sleepiness I've been complaining about for weeks may be my body trying to fight this infection. I'm super on edge today and have spent more of the day in tears than not.

But there was this beautiful moment where I was sitting in bed with Riley in my lap while she had her bottle watching last night's Project Runway. It wasn't as intimate as breastfeeding her but I felt close to her. I stroked her cheek and watched the sunlight coming through the bed room window reflect in her wet eyelashes. Maybe we'll make it through this beautiful moment to beautiful moment.