Pumping and the Beginning of the End

Every breast feeding mom I know loathes pumping and does as little as possible. I had to pump every time I fed Riley while she was in the NICU and for the first few days she was home. After that Riley's pediatrician suggested we start a bottle a day at a month if we wanted her to take bottles. Not every new mother is told that there is a window for introducing the bottle between 4-6weeks and with some baby's that's it.

Even though I wasn't on maternity leave and planning to rush back to work I wanted Riley to be able to take bottles so that we could have babysitters and also so they could get some daddy daughter time in. I never took a break I always pumped while she had her bottle for the next one. Breast milk gets heavier as it gets later in the day (to help baby sleep at night) so I wanted her to get the evening milk in the evening and keep my body on her eating schedule.

We did that for quite awhile and then it fell away somehow in favor of pumping when I needed it (like the baby fell asleep early and I'm gonna pop) or in anticipation of leaving Riley with a sitter. I had always intended to keep up the once a day pumping until I was done breastfeeding, but the best of intentions only go so far when you have a baby.

So, here I am 48hrs prior to my bone scan trying to pump in my every free moment to build up enough for the 48-72hrs I will not be allowed to feed Riley after the test. I also have to pump every time she eats and dump the milk for that whole time. Such a sad scenario. We're hoping to be able to get through with 1/2 and 1/2 bottles, but she may end up on full bottles of formula by the end. I hope we can resume business as usual on Sunday.

Beyond the test I am facing a possible 6-8wks of antibiotics which would mean supplementing some feedings with formula to protect Riley's tummy. After that is done I'm looking at 3 surgeries so who knows how that will all affect breastfeeding. I'll be a trooper and keep my pump next to my hospital bed if I need to, but reality is that Riley's 6mo now and it's going to be pretty traumatic on my body by the end of this process and it may be over.

I hoped to keep giving Riley breast milk until she was a year (pumped in bottles at least), but I may not be able to. Honestly as determined and active as she is I have a feeling Riley would be done before a year no matter what. Who knows.

So, there you go pumping sucks, but is a necessary evil. I love my breastfeeding time with Riley and knowing she's my one and only makes it that much harder to imagine giving it up.