Random Things

When the edits take longer than the original post took to write, hit delete.

Isaac had a splinter or something and it got infected. He has been terrified and obsessed with the little bump ever since. He was examining it the other night on the couch and Mike was sitting next to him.
Isaac staring at the bottom of his foot. Mike and I are talking
Suddenly Isaac's foot shoots acroos the couch narrowly missing Mike's nose.
"Dad! Look at my 'puss."
Mike and I stare at him slack jawed.
"You know that stuff that comes out of my foot!" Impaitiently shaking his foot in front of Mike's face. "my 'puss!"
Holding back laughter, Mike then corrects him, "the word you mean is "pus".

Today my mom and I took the kids to the library. I instructed Isaac to tie his shoe before he got out. While he was doing that my mom unloaded the chair, unbuckled the baby and we were situating her on my lap.
Suddenly, loudly
"I always have big nuts!"
Laughing "what?"
"In my laces." clearly irritated
"oh, knots."
"yeah."

Am I the only one who feels like a middle-aged fat smoker spiriting after the ice cream truck when I'm following the hostess to a table at a resturant? Why do they walk so fast? Just once I'd like to look composed when I sit to eat rather than like a heavily breathing weirdo.

I asked Isaac to pick up some goldfish crackers that spilled on the rug. He went over, knelt down and starting gathering them. Once he had a pile he looked up scanning the room for something. I tossed him the snack cup they had spilled out of.
He catches it. "oh."
"what's the matter?"
"Are these going in the trash?"
"yes"
"Then why don't we use a dustpan"
"Because the snack cup was right there and needs to go to the kitchen anyway."
"But we could have used a dustpan"
"yes"
He now takes the snack cup full of goldfish and shakes some out to sweep up
"Isaac! don't dump them out. They were already picked up."
"oh, but..(he starts picking them back up)"
"I'll give you something to sweep tomorrow. It's bed time any way."
"Yeah, because I'm...I'm a sweeper!"
"Give me a break and do this one thing the easy way please."
"ok, but I'm an inconvenient problem solver."
Yes, yes he is. As inconvenient as they come.

Am I the only who gets confused when people say they're going to take a _____ break? Like coffee break generally means break to drink coffee, but could mean break from drinking coffee like while pregnant. Sex break, break from something else to have sex or break from having sex? Dramatic difference.