Real World Vs Cyperspace

Nerdiness aside I spend a lot of time on the computer. I spent a LONG time after the spinal fusion not able to leave the house. I got better by inches but my tolerance for being out very long is about on par with my toddler's. If I over do it I pay in either case. So, I got used to a pretty self-contained universe. As social as I am by nature, I adjusted by finding an online family of mommies to chat with. When Christmas came last year I did all my shopping on Ebay or Amazon. I started watching streaming movies. And recording my life in blog format.

Even with the tolerance of an almost two year old, I have begun venturing out again. Trips to the store, the mall or a restaurant. Non-doctor's appointment outings, finally. Better still in the last two weeks I have started to venture out for short trips without Riley. It's a whole new world all the sudden. A few times I have run an errand with Riley, she fell asleep in the car and I dropped her at home. She slumbered peacefully while Daddy worked and Mommy got to have lunch or something.

I'm just remembering the gratification of going into a store picking something out and bringing it home. For a long time I would have thought I need a dress for X and I would serve the web and order one without it ever crossing my mind to go in person. Today, I went for a pedicure near by while Riley slept and as I left the mall a dress caught my eye and then a bracelet, etc. I didn't buy anything by just to be inside an actual structure looking at real objects was gratifying. I miss watching movies in the theater with an audience (without kids running by or climbing on me).

I'm even reconnecting with some of my friends without kids, lately. Finding time to chat on the phone or even make plans to go places. It's incredible. I took a lot of freedom for granted when I was single. I'm just regaining small pieces of my shattered social life here and there. It's good to give Mike practice getting the kids dressed and out the door or bathed and in bed. Also 2yrs of two kids and no breaks fried some of my circuits.

In the outside world there is face to face interaction instead of instant message and email where inflections can be entirely miscommunicated. There are tactile and tangible experiences. There is instant gratification. It has it's pitfalls too, but having a baby you stay home with is like being institutionalized. I was used to a routine of snacks, naps, play times and meals, but I forgot there's a whole world of people who aren't. People who move freely and at will without worrying about getting home for naps. For an hour here and there I get to go out without worrying about someone else's needs.

Here's to baby steps out into the real world...