The Age of Sometimes

From 18mos on there is a lot of sometimes in a toddler's world. Sometimes Riley sleeps in a crib sometimes she sleeps in a bed. Sometimes she eats in the high chair sometimes she eats at the table. Sometimes Mommy feeds her and sometimes she feeds herself. Sometimes with her fingers and sometimes with a fork. Sometimes she pees in a diaper and sometimes she pees in the potty. Sometimes she drinks from a sippy and sometimes you drink from a cup.

Sometimes is a strange kind of limbo to exist in. Sometimes she is still a baby and sometimes she's a big girl. Todderhood and adolescence are minefields that way. As a parent I often find myself habitually doing something and then thinking "she can do this." I find myself fighting instinct and watching her struggle. She is completely capable of making a clear verbal request for help.

It's confusing to be two feet tall and just starting to learn to communicate clearly. Consistency is only possible to a degree if you want an independent well adjusted child. She has to do things for herself and she wants to, but she also needs to know I'm here for her. Sometimes she puts on her purse and "goes to the store". It's an adorable game. Other days she brings me a "bank-kat" and says "baby". I wrap her up in the blanket and hold her and pretend she's a tiny baby. It never lasts more than a minute or two and it always makes me sad because it's a vivid reminder of how much she's grown.

Sometimes is difficult, but this time in her life is such an important investment in her future. Every time she struggles and figures something out without Mommy her confidence gets a little better. Every time she does something on her own she grows up a little bit. Every time she needs to be taken care of and I hold her and reassure her a sense of security grows in her. She feels loved and brave enough to try again. It's all about balance.