Tuesday we went to my mommy group. My friends all wanted to help and show support. They kept asking me what they could do.
I hate that question in general, I never know what to say. By Tuesday I really felt like my brain had blown a fuse. The logistics of the kids, Mike's work, drug/breastfeeding interactions, pain/mobility issues, scheduling, the house and so on... I stared blankly and they decided the default "we'll drop off dinner" would be the plan for now.
I enjoyed socializing and not talking about the surgery for a few hours. I was relaxing a little when a grumpy hungry Mike called and asked why I didn't tell him I was getting lunch with my friends. I thought informing him of the sweet offer my friends had made would cheer him up, wrong. He got all offended because he thought I meant that my friends didn't believe he was capable of fending for himself while I was in the hospital. I unruffled his feathers and explained they were offering to help once I'm discharged.
It all seemed pretty 50's to me. Don't we, in this age of convenience and technology, expect everyone regardless of their gender to be able to fend for themselves? Ok, I digress...
Please, don't think me ungrateful. Heaven forbid everyone quit asking how they can help God knows I'm drowning already and the surgery is still a week away.
If only everyone was close by and knew enough to just drop by every day or two post-surgery to lend a hand at whatever might be pressing at that moment... it sounds like having to tell everyone how to help is one more thing YOU have to do. Overwhelm central. Sending you love and keeping the "you're a trouper!" for another day.
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