Some Days Are Just Fails

For all my independence, perseverance and positive attitude some days just stink. Today, I loaded Riley up and headed off to get my post honeymoon haircut. Traditionally, I don't bring her to the salon because I'm there for hours. Today I was just getting a cut and her presence was requested. It started with the parking space.

There's a disabled space next to the door, but it was taken. In all the years I've been coming to this salon I've never had to park farther then the third space from the door. I ended up on the other side of the parking lot today. I had myself, Riley, Riley's cup, Riley's snack, Riley's baby doll, my laptop (to show them wedding pictures) and my purse. My hands were full of crutches and I stupidly forgot my tote bag. I usually keep one in the car for these occasions. Now I had a bit of a hike to undertake with all this stuff.

My first thought was to make two trips. This was a great thought. I've decided as a disabled mom that if it occurs to me to take two trips, that is always the right answer. Alas, I didn't today. I unbuckled Riley and handed her her cup and snack. I grabbed my crutches looped my purse across my chest, tucked my computer under my arm and bit the dolly's arm so I could step up the curb.

I was so proud of myself. I'd done it. All I had to do was step up on that curb. Gravity and I (being lifelong enemies) had another spat just then. My laptop took flight shattering dramatically into pieces. I fell backwards onto my crutches. There I was, pinned. The weight of my own body had trapped me. I couldn't pull my arms from the crutches or pull the crutches out from under me. My first thought was that I couldn't scare Riley. "Stay on the curb, baby" I managed with the little bit of breath that hadn't been knocked out of me in the fall. I was hyper aware of my awkward position, but it took a few seconds to think of what to do.

There was an older gentlemen there all the sudden. He was wonderful, I have to say. In the past people have made a HUGE deal or grabbed me and tossed me to my feet without warning. He said in a very even tone "Are you alright? What can I do." I asked him to stay with Riley. Bless her sweet like heart, she had stepped down off the curb and was stroking my hair calmly asking “Are you ok Mommy?” Then I gritted my teeth and rolled over. I got off my crutches and handed him one. By the time I was standing again there was a crowd.

Bloody rubberneckers! Gawking and useless. I had a lot of adrenaline pumping through me so I couldn't feel much pain yet. I thanked the man who proceeded to disappear very respectfully while the old ladies stared open mouthed as if I had two heads. An employee of the salon scooped up my laptop parts and walked with me. Once inside she handed me a wet towel. I was so concerned about not scaring Riley (who's only witnessed mommy having a big fall once before) I hadn't noticed I was bleeding.

Once I was wiped off and bandaid-ed and Riley was happily playing all I could think was, "I'm an idiot! I smashed my laptop. Why didn't I make two trips?" Turns out only the battery flew off and one hinge so it was still functional enough to show wedding pictures. Haircut managed the owner herself escorted us to the car. Mental note: It's ok to ask for help.

By the time I got home I was hurting. Imagine a hard fall causing all of your muscles to tighten into metal, it's rough. I had a badly skinned elbow, a skinned knee and a horribly bruised wrist. By the time I put Riley down for nap all the adrenaline was gone and the back spasms started. I took Advil and laid down. I needed to keep going because Tuesday is dance class and Riley missed two in a row with the wedding.

I felt better after the nap, but not good. I got Riley fed and in her dance clothes. She was just bouncing off the walls with excitement. I decided to take her to the library to kill time before class. She potty-ed about 45 seconds before we walked out the door. I was hurting too much to try and load and unload the wheelchair so I walked.

We had picked our books, colored a picture and were headed to check out when it happened. Riley has never been anything but good at the library, ever. We go to the library between twice a month and once a week. She told me she had to potty. I hurried over to set our books down so we could use the bathroom. She had started to fuss behind me but my back was turned for a moment. It was the mom behind me who said (in a non-judgmental way, bless her) "um, she's naked." and then "can I help?". Riley screamed when the stranger approached, I really can't fault her for that. She'd never stripped in public before and just like my slow reaction time after the fall I wasn't immediately sure what to do.

I pulled her clothes (leotard and pants) back on while she fought me and screamed. Then I grabbed her hand and started leading her to the bathroom. It seems awful now, but I told her in a stern tone that if she didn't stop crying and pulling against me I wouldn't take her to dance class. Once we were in the bathroom it all made sense. There was a small bit of icky-ness in her panties. She'd been at the tail end of a cold. It happens, but it really scared her. No wonder she was crying and stripping. Poor kid. We're so far past the accident days I didn't have spares with me so I cleaned her up and told her she had to wear the yucky clothes for just a little bit.

The library's close so we got her home and changed, but not before the wrestling match of the century getting her into her car seat. I felt like the worst mother in the world. She kept saying "No Mommy please! I'm too poopy. Please." Ugh. Once she was happily playing for a few minutes I had a cry because I won't ever be able to pick her up and run to the potty. Poor girl. To add insult to injury there was no way I could take her to dance class with her tummy giving her trouble. She was so sad.

I guess we'll have to resume conquering the world tomorrow.