ALL ABOARD!!!

I ADORE The Polar Express ever since my second grade teacher read it to my class I was head over heals. It's a beautiful story. When I was fresh out of college and living in New York I got to see the movie in 3D Imax, it was a huge deal back then. The snow, the train careening across the ice, it was all breath taking. I worked for Santa at Macy's 34th street that holiday season and they played The Polar Express soundtrack pretty often. I loved that music and it became forever tied to those wonderful weeks working for Santa, in my memory.

Needless to say, when my father-in-law acquired the Polar Express train and invited us over to play with it and watch the movie I was super excited. My kiddos grow up into between each visit to the rails.

2009

It was more for Isaac's benefit back then, but Riley liked the light and movement.

2010

By this year Riley was 18 months old and had the most adorable indignation about the train. She chased it and yelling and gesturing. I think this was the year Grandpa let Isaac drive the train too. So much growing up that year.

2011

We took a year off from the trains for a trip to Ice & Snow! My amazing father-in-law invited us to an amazing adventure with snow, ice sculptures and ice slides! We had a blast. Isn't Roo's tiny (s)no(w)man adorable?

2012

By 2012 it was my turn to grow up or at least that's how it felt. This was the year they brought the polar express to our house. I put out appetizers in my Christmas apron, Mike made the grown ups chicken bryan and the kids wore jammies. It felt so grown up to host my in-laws. This was the first year Riley remembered the previous train night. We enjoyed Polar Express in 3D, talk about warm fuzzy memories! Isaac was a much...more careful engineer too.

2013

This was the year Isaac got his own train! Here's the story of Isaac's train, it's a good one. It was the second year in a row Roo informed me which pajamas she was saving for train night because by now it was an important event in her life. The train was beautiful all set up around our tree. I love the idea of all the happy childhood memories a passed down toy has already been a part of before we start making our own. Can you tell I cry after all the Toy Story movies?

2014

This year we were back at Grandpa's for train night. He remarked how Isaac has matured and is a lot more trustworthy on the train controls. I think Riley will be ready to try her hand by next year. On the flip side Isaac was far to cool to observe the traditional Hot Chocolate song dance break. What can you do? They just keep growing.

This Year's Christmas Cards

At some point last year I was watching a Psych Christmas episode in which Shawn is in the office and the Grinch walks past the widow behind him. Pardon me while I Google that episode name for you..."Polarizing Express" from season five (you're welcome). I decided holiday photo bombs was the way to go for our next Christmas card. Mike agreed and soon we were seeking out cheesy family photos to imitate in our post card style pictures. Oh and did I mention Mike talked me into to doing FOUR of them? In the end it was really fun that everybody had something different, but next year we'll go back to a single card for sure.

Here they are! Top to bottom: Bumble (abominable snowman from Rudolph) putting the star on a tree, Heat Miser (Year Without a Santa Claus) riding on a geyser, The Grinch stealing Christmas and Santa peeing into the ocean.

Which one is your favorite?

All family photos by Mad Clix Photography

Happy Hanukkah!

Things we learned:

1. The first day of Hanukkah and the first night of Hanukkah are not the same thing. This year the first night was 12/16, but we celebrated the first day 12/17.
2. Proper dreidel spinning technique
3. That Mommy likes latkes, but Riley is not a fan
4. That there are several different verses in the dreidel song
5. One of the acceptable spellings of Hanukkah
6. The candle used to light the other candles is called the shamash
7. You light the candle at night then blow it out and relight it the next night
8. Hanukkah being way less commercialized than Christmas is part of what makes it fun!
9. The first female rabbi was ordained in East Berlin in 1935, but female rabbis have only been ordained since 1972 in the US

Chag Urim Sameach!

What Exactly is Your Persuasion on the Big Man?

I was absolutely correct about last year being my last chance for a picture of both kids with Santa. I was prepared so I didn't even flinch when Isaac opted out this year. I know the magic isn't completely gone for him, but it's not cool to take Santa photos when you're a twelve year old boy. He still fretted about being on the nice list when his yearly video message from Santa arrived. He was still up for almost all our Christmas traditions. The boy lives for Norad tracks Santa.

Last year Isaac started gently questioning Santa. I told him he was free to believe whatever he chooses, but I reminded him it sure is a lot more fun when you believe. I also told him that no matter what he believes he has no right to take it away from anyone else. That was all I needed to say, he never questioned me again. I've always told my kids that anyone who dresses as Santa is doing it to not to trick anyone, but to make children happy. Santa's busy and a lot of kind people give him a hand during the holidays.

The silver lining is that Santa pictures are now a girls' tradition. There'a nothing like quality time with my little girl. She wrote her own list this year. Santa read all four items with a huge grin on his face. She was a bit star struck, but they had a lovely visit. It's nice now that she can remember a few Christmases. I look forward to all the Christmas magic ahead of her.

Christmas Memories

It's funny how the best memories come at unexpected times. When I was living in Los Angeles, it eventually happened that I couldn't go home for Christmas. There were two consecutive years that ended up being my absolute BEST Christmas memories (pre-family of my own, of course). I remember work gift exchanges, coming home to piles of packages on the doorstep, bribing my room mate to help me put up my first real tree, driving around looking for a Christmas Eve service (and scoring big time), friends that were like family and driving to work through beautiful neighborhoods with amazing lights. I found so much magic in those years. I never felt sad or lonely like you'd expect to feel. I was grateful for my job and holiday pay. I loved the Christmas Eve shift because it was quiet and co-workers were laid back. Every gift I received from friends or in packages from family was extremely appreciated. Christmas was everywhere even in a big anonymous city.

I even remember a neighbor of mine who I would frequently see and exchange pleasantries with in the mornings, but never actually introduced myself to. He left a Christmas card for me under my wind shield wiper. If that isn't the Christmas spirit, I don't know what is. What a great way to learn someone's name.

The radio switching to Christmas music made my commutes more pleasant, the lights filled me with childish wonder. I recall it being the best time of year to get lost because of the Christmas lights. I had my first Christmas tree and my one and only tree decorating party. Those memories are treasures. I still own the ornaments people brought to the party and I can still tell you where each one came from. I was so blessed for those Christmases where I didn't take a single bite of food or kindness from someone for granted.

I think those Christmases were on my mind because we were hit so hard by all the illnesses this year that I lost the reigns. I just couldn't do all of the things I normally do for my family and friends at this time of year. I tried, but ended up feeling sad and discouraged. That's when I realized maybe this year was another one of those tricky blessings. It looked like a curse, but I was in a position to scale back and in doing less, spend my time in a calmer state. My less-wound-up state allowed for feeling completely overwhelmed with gratitude for things as simple as the day to day health of my family. So while two months of compromised health for one or more members of the family wasn't pleasant it was a perspective adjustment.

Happy Holidays, do less (trust me, it'll be better).

Mitzvots

Riley's school kicked off December with "Mitzot Week" aka Good Deed Week! I love this theme and Miss Roo ran with it, big time. She did genuinely try to go out of her way every day to be extra kind and helpful. In previous years her brother's school had the same theme and he'd come home hard pressed to tell me his good deed for the day so I was pleasantly surprised by Miss Roo's commitment.

I took Riley to a "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" story time event at the book store after school the first day of mitzvoh week. It couldn't have come at a better time. After the story they explained how December 1st was the beginning of the "Grow Your Heart" program. Kids do three good deeds and then mail in their card and the publisher donates a new book to a kid in need. The good deeds are things kids can easily do like play with someone at school who is by themselves, help mom make dinner, say something kind, etc. Amazing right? It didn't take Miss Roo long at all and she was so proud! Happy reading underprivileged girl in our community. Good Work Random House!

Every year I ask the kids to clean out their toys before Christmas. Up until now I have sorted Riley's by myself. I talked to my kids, like I always do, about giving the toys that haven't been played with to other kids who will be happy to have them. Color me surprised when Riley then volunteered to donate toys to a younger friend and younger class at her school. She's so sweet. She helped me collect all the pieces, wipe everything down and she even volunteered to take batteries out of other toys so we could replace the ones in the toys we were donating.

It is so important to remind kids to be grateful, generous and kind in our instant gratification world. It's always a struggle and even I forget that there's no kindness to small. It does my heart good to think of all the kids growing their heart three sizes by offering kindness to others in their own small way. I wish everyone a month full of random acts of kindness given and received.

Nice List

The sticker chart prevailed! Well, not on its own mind you. I kept thinking "it takes twenty one days to break a habit." For the first two weeks we were fit free about every other day. I think what finally penetrated was when I told her to think about Cinderella, The Stepsisters were selfish and mean and had a fit tearing her dress to shreds! No happy ending for them. Cinderella was kind and generous. That's why she deserved the magic that took her to the ball. Honestly, that was the one I saw register. I guess I shouldn't be to surprised, it would have had an impact on five-year-old me.

Sticker charts, Cinderella and identifying a serious growth spurt were what she needed. With Disney princesses cheering her on and a jam packed lunch box we soon had a perfect week! The next one was even better she earned smiley faces every day. She even had a day with the elusive gold star! Her teacher and I were so proud! We still check her chart every day before we leave school, but it's been a long time since we had a fit. I can honestly say I can't remember the last one. Thank Goodness!

She was beaming when her video message from Santa revealed her nice list status. She's a superstar! Don't get me wrong every now and then we have a bedtime fit or some mean words, but for the most part my Riley is back. Take heed parents, light at the end of the tunnel. I've heard the odd years are rougher for kids. The beginning of 3 and 5 certainly were for Miss Roo. Gold stars for both of us!

Thanksgiving

I am so grateful I was well enough to participate (and grateful I went to the doctor soon after). Grateful we didn't have to travel to see our loved ones. Grateful that at least I got to listen to the parade while I cleaned. Grateful there was laughter! Grateful the food was done on time. Grateful for everyone who came. Grateful everything was delicious! Grateful for left overs. Grateful for some quiet moments snuggling with the kids while we digested. Grateful no one had to leave the house the next day. Grateful for traditions. Grateful for family.

Cleaning Sucks

I have two kids, an extremely messy husband and pets...and oh yeah a physical disability. Sweeping, mopping, vacuuming cause back pain and hip dislocation. Bath tub scrubbing makes my knees swell. Dish washing hurts my ankles. You get the idea. Don't worry this is not a complain/vent. It's another post in which I attempt to cut myself some slack. Before kids I did all the necessary cleaning and then I was "done for the day". Now, I recover from cleaning the way I recover from illness...I don't.

That is a REAL picture of the actual sink/counter/kitchen full of dirty dishes I woke up to on my 28th birthday (aka first birthday after I had Riley). I'll leave the condition of the rest of house to your imagination. Yes, I woke up on that post-partum birthday and wept at the massive mess. Then I whipped out my camera and documented it like an insane person. I think I wanted proof of what I'd done all day on my birthday while tending to a 7yr old and 5mo old. Truth is I can never be sure with all the hormones and sleep deprivation why I took 20+ pictures of my trashed house. As I started trying to deal with the situation I got mad, I mean really! Today?!? So, I decided I needed professional help (Yes, probably that kind too). I called a cleaning service. It would be Mike's birthday present to me, I'd inform him of his generous birthday gift later.

That was the first time I asked for help, but not the last. Like most moms keeping the house clean is a constant source of stress. Soon after that birthday I had a major back surgery and I started paying my friend to come once a week and help me. I was essentially stationary on the couch. A stack of diapers and a drink beside me, a baby gate encircling a patch of living room floor, and Riley climbing on and off my lap. I got up to use the bathroom and make our lunch. It was some rough times. $20 for someone to come run the vacuum and clean my bathrooms was well worth it. As time passed and different surgeries and recoveries happened the person helping, rates and tasks I needed them for changed, but I had weekly help whenever we could swing it.

Since our move it went from weekly to once a month. For awhile now I've been going it completely alone sending up the bat signal on special occasions. Before you get all "cry me a river" you have to clean your own house all the time. I live with an amazing slob (I love him and he's great at many things, but being aware of the wreckage of his presence is not one of them), a fused spine, two kids, pets and unpredictable physicality. I do my best, I ask the kids for help and I try to remember how much better things are now than in the old days. I feel like I'm pretty on the ball, but I'm not a miracle worker and I can only do so much. Recently I stumbled on this post: What Normal Looks Like. Some of it was accurate, some of it didn't apply, but the spirit of it gave me a moment of relief. I forgot that it's not just me struggling.

I hate it when the house gets out of control, it is literally hard for me to get around in it. I am doing my best at any given moment to keep things pleasant and functional. Note: I did not say "to impress people." I just want to be comfortable and relaxed in my house. If my physical abilities ever caught up with my expectations of myself this place would be immaculate! Short of the nano technology my husband swears will be the end of all my orthopedic issues someday I don't really see that happening.

Imagine if cleaning didn't just exhaust and frustrate you, but actually caused you physical pain. Are you sympathizing? Good! Now with that in mind, call before you drop by so I have time to tidy up.

Judgey Wudgey Bear

As we approach the holiday season, I'd love to clear the air as much as a lowly little mommy blogger like myself could ever clear the air. Here's the thing, one of those teeth brushing epiphanies, I don't judge other moms even a tenth as much as I perceive them to be judging me. I'm definitely weird on many fronts, but I have to assume, after some reflection, I'm not being judged as much as I think I am. Obviously, there is judgement, let's be honest it's just human nature. I'm just saying we may project our fear of being judged more often than we actually are judged. A+ if you're still with me, phew.

When you don't feed your kid an 100% organic locally sourced diet not only do I not judge you, I don't care. Same goes for what kind of diapers you use. Let's just be perfectly clear, unless your reading reviews as a new mom, no one in the history of humanity even cared what anyone else's baby poops in. Especially when your own kids are potty trained, just saying. As long as your kids seems happy and functional your parenting is okay by me. If they're alive/growing I'm not going to tsk, tsk over what you fed them for lunch or whether it was presented in a themed bento box. Lord knows, it's a small miracle to get food in them AT ALL some days. I do look at your lunch meat panda munching a celery bamboo stick picture on Facebook and think "that's cute." That is not however the same as judging other moms, my self included, for not embarking on an around the world Pinterest worthy lunch adventure. Although, I probably will judge myself momentarily for the uncrustable I threw in the lunchbox this morning, I'll get over it.

We're all doing our best in an incredibly challenging situation. Don't worry about flack from me because you allow your kids to watch television. I grew up in the 80's we watched a lot of great, at least when viewed through a nostalgic filter, children's programming. I don't talk about my kids viewing habits with other moms for fear of judgement. I'm not raising couch potatoes, I monitor what and how much they watch. I know how wildly different kids personalities can be and I allow entertainment suited to them. Guess what? I trust that most parents are doing the same. Call me crazy, but I'm fairly certain in this technical age most of us figured out what worked for our lifestyles and our children pretty quick. So, the end, right? I still avoid the subjects of politics, religion and screen time in unfamiliar (and sometimes familiar) company.

Everyone's got their hot button issues about parenting. I personally, see one of my hot button issues every now and then. I immediately vent to my bestie or spouse for a bit. After that, I have more of a feeling that we're "different kinds of moms" more than a condemnation of anyone's lifestyle. I probably file certain moms in this category to avoid them judging me for our differences than anything else. I'm not an insecure person in general, but there's nothing like pouring your heart and soul into something and then receiving harsh criticism. There's no harder job than raising tiny humans.

I also understand that it is so easy to take things out of context. I don't know a lot...scratch that ANYONE in my exact parenting situation. Peeking in from the outside at someone else it's likely that what I perceive may be entirely incorrect.

When do I judge? When I see a happy kid having a good time. A kid in mismatched clothes, in a cardboard fort in the backyard beaming up at the camera with a chocolate milk mustache. That's when I think "Wow there's some good parenting." It's all about those happy childhood memories. It's about feeling loved intensely, because you are. It's all about growing up knowing who you are because it was always ok to be yourself.

I don't know many people who go to therapy to discuss what their mom packed in their lunch, how their mom decorated their room or any of the other nonsense that seems so important since social media. Oh Boy! If I'm wrong and we're raising that generation they'll have proof of everything!

Keep doing your best for the smaller humans Moms & Dads and don't worry about what I think (because most of the time I think you're doing better than me!).

You Don't LOOK Like a Ballerina...

Here is some of what Miss Roo has learned in ballet so far this year. I love it. I think starting her at two was fun, but not...productive. I would have totally held off until five knowing what I know now. She loves it now and I'm not surprised. I adore ballet too, but she's a much better dancer than I ever was (duh).

I took ballet at about the age she is now and didn't last more than a few classes. When I was in college it was required course. I remember shopping for ballet slippers at twenty years old. The middle aged lady at the dance store eyed me as I came in. No doubt she thought that the lady with strange unbalanced gait must have taken a wrong turn on the way to the Gap. She watched me approach the ballet slippers shelf in total silence and then her smile appeared. She walked over briskly and asked "Who are you shopping for?" She obviously thought she's cleverly figured out the mystery of the gimp in the dance store. I couldn't help but enjoy her momentary surprised expression when I said me.

She was professional enough as I selected my ballet slippers and purchased them. I wonder if she ever thought about it again? If she imagined me correcting my gait as I left the store ala Kevin Spacey in Usual Suspects. Maybe she imaged me sadly attempting proper technique only to shatter my delusion that I wasn't in fact ever gong to be a professional dancer. All that, I think, is a bit of ego on my part. She certainly thought "how odd" and went back to selling leotards to the graceful people.

Girls Make the Prettiest Pirates

Riley's eye doctor prescribed three hours a day of an eye patch for at least six months to strengthen her weak eye. Back when I wore one (at about the same age) I had to have a big bandage over my weak eye. It was big and brown and ugly. Worst of all it hurt coming off. I found Eyepatch.me on Etsy. I showed Riley all the wonderful choices and she picked pink and purple butterfly with jewels. I also ordered an eye patch for her cuddly friends with a blue flower pattern and a My Little Pony elastic to hold it on. I love them both! I wish I could go back in time and wear pretty patches too! Riley loves it too and I can totally see ordering some special occasion patches too. Riley was excited to wear it.

Eye patch time has become a special time because it means some serious one on one with Mommy. We play play dough, watch movies, do puzzles and all kinds of fun stuff. She only wears her patch at home because it's super important that she was it three consecutive hours. No peeking. I have to keep an eye on her. She doesn't cheat on purpose, but little Miss loves to change her clothes. She just rips her shirt off to put on dress up clothes and knocks her glasses off. We made a new rule that she can change one time before eye patch time and then again when eye patch time is over if she wants. They helped a lot.

The only thing I haven't figured out is dance nights. We don't have three hours between school and dance class or between dance and bed. It's already our rush around night. I'm just not sure how to work it in, but I figure at least for now 6 days a week isn't bad. I really hope six months is all the time her weak eye needs. She's so beautiful, glasses and an eye patches just make her more beautiful.

Halloween 2014

It FINALLY came! Costume-wise it was more of the same: Roo's request was easy and ready by September and Isaac's was complicated and we were working on it up until the last second. That being said, I think we super nailed it. I'm proud of the teamwork that produced that amazing, one of a kind costume. Go team! I dressed up, of course. Mike bought all the fabric and even hair dye to be the Kristoff to my Anna, but work got crazy so he never even started working on it. I was 100% fine with that. It was a nice thought, but I told him many times the kids costumes were highest priority. We had to hand make Isaac's enormous hat so it would be accurate and fit on a giant squid head. I also made all the barnacles out of paper mache. I even printed an image of carvings that look like tentacles surrounding a heart to put on Isaac's treasure chest. If you haven't seen the movie Davy Jones is so heartbroken he tears his heart from his chest and locks it away in a chest to keep it safe. It all came together so well!

I stocked up on way to much candy. I enlisted the kids for help with some last minute huge spiderwebs and a few other decorations, but costumes (mostly Isaac's) were the first priority. I didn't feel up to trick-or-treating with the kids this time. It's weird because Mike and I usually fight over who is going to go around with kids and this year we both felt less than enthusiastic about it. Even with my wheelchair it's a serious workout. My neighborhood doesn't have sidewalks so it's up and down driveways and rolling along the gutters. A workout that I have never minded paying for the next couple days, but I opted to pass out candy with my mom. After pictures, they were off! We didn't get even half the trick-or-treaters we got last year, but I had fun looking at the costumes and making stupid jokes ("Oh you better eat some candy, you're bones are showing, etc). Mike and the kids were back after a couple hours and there were so few trick-or treaters it was safe to go inside and wait for the doorbell.

This year, as is tradition, everyone potty-ed and shed unwanted costume pieces and then we took pictures of their haul. I turned on Monster House and since it was a Friday and they're older I gave them a time limit for candy eating instead telling them how many pieces they could pick out. It worked out great and no one got sick. In a perfect world Mike would have finished his costume enough to at least take a picture with me and his beautiful (lit with animated lightening) Ursula pumpkin wouldn't have been to rotten to lift off the table, but it was a fun Halloween. I am totally ready to get back out into the neighborhood with the kids next year! It figures the year I stayed home to hand our candy was slow trick-or-treat-wise and no family of friends dropped by. I hope both kids still come out next year. I've already told Isaac he's old enough to be taking a much more active role in his costume next year!