Behind the Toddler Toons...Scandalous

Oh, how children's programming engages the adult mind. When you're a parent you find yourself watching kids TV after they've fallen asleep or left the room. I know I'm not the only one who's looked over at other adult in the room and said "Why are we still watching this?"

I do actually enjoy watching these shows with Riley sometimes, but they bring up some things - for example, "Word World".

"Word World" is bright, colorful and educational, what’s not to like? The characters are animals made up of their letters. When they put letters together to "build a word" they turn into the object they spell. If they spell c-a-k-e those 4 letters turn into a cake. If something happens like a gust of wind the cake becomes 4 letters again. Here's my question, can the characters themselves be pulled into piles of letters? Is there murder in Word World?

On one episode, Duck (not the brightest crayon in the box) accidentally makes a "fox" and I was really worried he'd pull the fox apart to keep searching for the word he actually wanted to make instead. He didn't pull him apart on camera, but "fox" was never seen again after that episode. Fishy stuff. While I'm on the subject of this show, why is it that all the animals talk except Dog? At first I thought it was because he was a domesticated pet, but then there was an episode with Cat who does talk (and hold down a full time job). Not Cool. Also, I don't think Noah would have much to do in their world as there appears to be only one of each animal. I wonder if there’s inter-species dating.

"Kelly always has exactly what I need!" - Handy Manny.

I have also spent more time than I care to admit pondering our dear friend, Handy Manny. I am probably just as big a fan of this show as Riley is. Again, it's bright, colorful, and educational. I also enjoy the diversity on the show not just ethnically, but also the handful of disabled characters.

When I was a kid if there was a character in a wheelchair they made a huge deal about it. Handy Manny is the second show I’ve ever seen with a disabled character that isn't just around for one episode so the protagonist can work through their issues about people who are "different". The first one was Doug. Anybody else recall that Patty Mayonnaise's dad was in a wheelchair? He was. There was no tear jerker episode where Doug contemplated whether he could date Patty because her dad was different, he just was.

I digress, in the grand tradition of Mark Summers and Robin (nudge, nudge. You know what I'm talking about) Manny and Kelly have some palpable sexual tension. I guess having 8 constant talking tool companions isn't exactly romantic. Speaking of the tools does Pat the hammer strike anyone else as the dumb gringo? Maybe it's an overreaction, but occasionally he feels like a comment on dumb Americans. Also, does anyone else feel like Mr. Lopart's got some kind of secret life? Drag queen? Circus performer? Investment banker?

Let's talk Nick Jr shows for a minute. Keep in mind I wouldn't have time to consider these shows if I didn't watch and enjoy them. Here's one, all these baby animals that get into trouble on Wonder Pets, where are their parents? I mean why aren’t their parents pulling them out of the quicksand or whatever? Better yet why aren't their parents keeping track of them so they don't get into trouble in the first place. I have two words for the neglectful parents from Wonder Pets: Animal Control!

Am I the only one who enjoys Blue’s Clues, but can't stand Joe? I really, really dislike him. Partially because the shoes were too big to fill. No one can replace Steve. Steve was incredible. He was sincere and it came easy to him. Joe does what my teacher in college used to call it "faking the funk". Joe is always faking the funk. I never let Riley watch the Joe episodes I always search the On-demand for Steve episodes. I will say that my preference for Steve led me to do a little internet research. Steve Burns is quite a hottie and I enjoy his sense of humor. I wish him well. I also wish they would cancel Blue’s Clues and make more episodes of Jack's Big Music Show instead.

Here's something else that bothers me, there are 5 Backyardigans. However if you miss the opening credits you'd never know it. It's more like 4 and an alternate. There's Uniqua, Tasha, Pablo, Tyrone and sometimes Austin. It seems to me they are never all 5 in an episode together. Maybe I haven't seen enough of the show, but Austin is almost never involved. I was stunned that there were 5 because of this 4 characters per episode rule. Maybe the voice actors are underage and have a maximum of hours they can work. OR maybe Austin has a substance abuse problem...hmmm..

Austin and Uniqua behind bars