Yesterday was a bad, bad day. I kept Riley out of daycare because her Aunt is visiting and there was supposed to be a play date. Fast forward through one of the longest mornings of my life, I wish I could have, nothing had gone according to plan by nap time.
I was crying by late afternoon out of frustration. It seemed someone had come and kidnapped my sweet, loving, docile, little girl who communicates so well and replaced her with a shrieking, defiant, tornado of destruction and tears. Mental note don't keep Riley home from daycare on Mike's office day until plans have been confirmed in the future.
My nerves were shot by 3:00 when Isaac got home from school. Riley reacted to big brother's reappearance with the same whiny fussing she'd been serenading me with all afternoon. It was abundantly and painfully clear we were not having a one nap day at this point.
On a normal day I would say "Ok, Riley let's go get a book." and she would pick up her water cup and follow obediently behind me baby duck style. After more struggle then was necessary we cuddled together in her big girl bed with How do Dinosaurs Eat.
She listened to all 3 readings and then snuggled me sleepily for a minute before I attempted to take my leave. It was an unsuccessful attempt she howled like she was on fire. It didn't bother me that she was screaming because that seemed to be the day we were having. It was the moment after that when she bounded off the bed and followed me to the doorway.
I put the baby gate in her doorway and told her to get her cranky butt back in bed. She didn't think that was a good plan. She played quietly for about 15mins during which time I decided any break was well worth it and I was too tired to fight with her. Pretty soon it occurred to her that she needed to be upset about the baby gate.
She stood and screamed for endless torturous minutes. I walked over to the doorway and she turned her tear-stained face to me and grinned. I took the baby gate down (can't step over with my bad hips) and took her hand and led her to her bed. The shades of confusion that passed over her features were almost comical.
I reassured her that it was, in fact, nap time. Just a short nap I kept saying, but what she heard over the screaming I'll never know. I left and she got out of bed, screaming all the while. When I went back in I led her back to bed, tucked her in and sat on the end of the bed for several minutes. After she had stayed put that long I stood next to the bed reminding her to lay down every time it looked like she was gonna make a break for it. Eventually, I made it to the doorway and then the hallway always reminding her to lay down as needed over her cries.
When she finally feel asleep I locked myself in the bathroom and cried. It always seems like giving the kids independence will make our lives easier, but it is always more work on our part. I knew that I had to be clear about nap time rules so early in the big girl bed experience. I was pretty proud of myself later for channeling Super Nanny(which I used to watch all the time, but haven't since I gave birth) and staying tough.
It was a horrible, count to 10, breaking point, kind of bad day. I know next Monday Riley will be happily back at daycare and before then we'll have overcome the growing pains of the big girl bed transition. It's funny I researched every major decision I've ever made even if it was just by talking to other moms, but I didn't research switching to a bed at all.
I went by what Riley needed and what I could handle, alone. Huh. After Mike came home I cried in the bathroom some probably out of relief and prayed for the strength to survive until bedtime.
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