Conversations With Cute: Just Because

Shall we? Shall we, Mom? (long pause)Miss Frizzle says shall we.
Santa brought the kids the complete Magic School Bus series on DVD. Both kids are HUGE fans.

I was reading Riley a bedtime story: Barbie's Perfect Christmas.
Me (reading):"The girls sang together. They didn't fight anymore."
Riley: What do the boys do? (pause) Do they fight for China?
I laughed so hard I teared up. I think I've mentioned before that's she's a big Mulan fan.

Me: Riley pick up your shoes
Riley: (Without missing a beat):Do I have to? Who made up THAT rule?

Mom, I have to go the potty
Ok, go
It's driving me nuts
Having to go potty?
Mo-om! It's driving me UP a Wall!

Apparently, she and Daddy discussed what would happen if Roo fell asleep on the potty and they concluded she would get cold and dream that penguins were licking her bottom. I didn't know any of that had taken place when I walked into the bathroom and she yelled:
Mom, penguins won't lick my butt.

Me: Why is that woman running down the road right next to the jogging path?!?
Riley: Are you mad, Mommy?
Me: Well, it's not very smart. She could get hurt.
Riley: Mom, that lady is a...Bum in the tuchus!

Me to Mike: Check and see if you have the address on your Facebook
Mike: Ok, but I know it's on yours
Riley:(Singing & Dancing) Your Facebook or My Facebook! (on repeat)

After leaving the grocery store with a new pink ball.
Riley: I told the lady thank you! She let me borrow this pink ball
Me: No she sold Mommy and Daddy that ball for $2.
Riley: Oh! I got this ball for TWO DOLLARS!!! (with Christmas morning level enthusiasm)

Heart Banner

I have an archway between my kitchen and living room. For most holidays I have a pretty sign or festive garland of some sort for that spot. I like to display things there because you see them as soon as you walk in the door. As it turns out when Riley and I put up my Valentines decorations this year we had nothing for the archway. It also happens (sniff) that this is the first year Miss Roo opted for store bought cards for her friends. Here are some of my past creations: Valentines Shirts & Pillows, Heart Cards, and Punny Raisins with Cards. I'm a little relieved to have the pressure off, but I'm a little sad that she's growing up and Mom's homemade cards won't be cool much longer.

All that long winded back story to tell you, I decided to make a banner!

Materials

• Patterned Card Stock
• Scissors (or a craft cutter)
• Cardboard Heart Template (or craft cutter template)
• Crop-a-dile
• Assorted Ribbons
• Grommets, Glitter, Glue

By all means fire up a set of hearts on your Silhouette or Cricut or what have you. I happen to have received a small square pad of polka dot card stock for Christmas. I was afraid to send such small paper through my cutter, but I loved the look. I also already had a heart template I saved from an old project. I printed a heart from an image search, cut it out and then traced it onto cardboard. Remember if your paper is one sided like mine trace on the blank side. Do you like my festive nails? Glitter and hearts!

I punched through all my hearts in one stack to make sure the holes would line up. I opted not to add grommets, but depending on the look of your paper you may want them. They make threading the ribbon easier and decrease paper wear. I threaded my hearts in alternating colors. I tied my banner to the superyard and spaced out my hearts. I attempted to make 3D hearts from the scraps. They came out cute the problem was that they didn't work with my 2D banner (at least I don't think they did). I left them out.

I did add red, pink and white curling ribbon on each end. I'm very pleased with the final product. Happy crafting!

Makin' Muffins

Boring Medical Update: I went to the ortho and the hip looks good. No need to see him again unless a problem should arise. He gave me a referral to a new "back guy" if I want to investigate the upper back pain. It's ranking a little low on my to do list just now, we'll see.

On a much more interesting note, Riley and I did some baking! It was cold and rainy today and I felt like baking. I also had a whole lot of fresh strawberries on hand (bogo sale). We started with a just-add-milk muffin mix for cranberry orange muffins. Then I added a whole bunch of fresh strawberries. I wish I'd gotta two packages of mix because they only make six muffins each package and we could have done with a dozen.

I've been a lot more prepared for baking projects lately, which is wonderful. Getting up on a cold rainy day and having everything you need is such a gift. My joints complain a little softer when there are goodies to eat and a nice warm kitchen. I feel resourceful for mixing in fresh fruit and having a few muffin mixes on hand. I think we'll have to make these again for sure.

I cut up the remaining strawberries for snacks. They won't last around here. I'm planning on making the kids some french toast this weekend I'll probably toss a few on top. They add a lot of color to things.

Same Old...

Most of the time, it doesn't matter. Most of the time no one mentions it. It just is. The sky is blue, the Earth is round and I walk funny.

I don't exaggerate; it is usually of very little consequence or importance. There are moments, days, or even stretches of time when it does matter. Times when someone says something that brings it to the forefront in a way it doesn't deserve to be often. If a friend of mine adapts to a challenge and then laughs about it (like it's the most ridiculous thing ever), I might find myself thinking "Oh, yeah I'm different than you." Those kinds of stories resonate because my disabled mom friends and I have made those adaptations to cope without a second thought. When someone rails against keeping a toddler on a lead. When someone talks about me like I'm a decorated war hero for taking my kid to the playground. It matters.

I'm not saying it should never matter - of course it matters sometimes. It matters greatly sometimes. My existence is different than a lot people I know. I live in a physical flux. I am not a normal specimen of humanity. I have not been injured and recovered back to some magical epicenter of functionality. I started out with a set of issues and challenges to adapt to. When there is an injury, surgery or other change in circumstance, I adapt. I am changed each time, and each change is a link in a chain. It's not a ripple in a pond that will still itself again.

It's not linear. Injuries, healing, back to normal? Not quite. Yesterday, you saw me hobbling around unaided by crutches and today I'm in the wheelchair? In your world it means there's something wrong, but in mine it's day-to-day adaptation. I'm not "getting worse", I'm coping with uneven terrain, distance, a swollen joint, a speedy preschooler. I just didn't feel like walking/finding my other crutch, needed both hands, wanted to wear a bigger purse. You change clothes, I change my method of mobility (or whatever else is needed). You take Aspirin for a headache, I walk less when I need to.

I'm not saying it's never linear. Particularly after surgery there is a reasonable progression, but in my day to day life things are always changing. Please don't take any of my comparisons here as hostility - on the contrary, I adore all my able-bodied friends and fans so much that I felt I could share. I am not trying to elicit pity from you. I see what is different between us which is tricky when so much is the same.

Maybe I'm just permitting myself to record a stream of consciousness with no real significance to anyone but me. In which case I'll indulge further and say I don't have any aspirations to be "other" than I am. We all have struggles, it makes us human. I never seriously longed for a "cure" from what is, as I stated at the start, simply a fact of my existence like any other.

It's all in the "eye of the beholder", as Rod Sterling so nicely put it, it is merely "an accident of birth."

Conversations With Cute: the Hits Keep on Comming

Riley comes out of the bathroom in my novelty shower cap
Look it's like an umbrella for your head when you have a fancy hairstyle

At the store
I'm going to the bar!
The bar?
The balls!!
Runs over
Time to go
I'll see you later balls

Does cat in the hat rhyme?
Yes
(several other word pairs until she starts the nonsense ones)
Does Donk Wonk rhyme?
Wonk? What's a wonk
(without missing a beat)
It's a kind of fancy hat made from a lilly pad
Wow, Riley that is the weirdest thing you've ever said

Gets away from me in the parking lot
Here you are mom! (nowhere near me)
What? get over here!
You're over there mom. (pointing to the space in front of us)
What are you talking about?
Your picture, Mommy. On that blue square!
Oh! (Disabled parking symbol equals Mommy)

Time for bed Riley
Ok, but dad we moved...we operated my nighties into the frog bin. We operated them out of the dresser.
Ok, bed.
But I'm making drowsy!
What? Do you know what that means?
No
Drowsy means sleepy
Oh, Mommy's drowsy
True
You're just drowsy Mom!

At the Playground:
(swinging from the bar over the top of the slide like a monkey)
Are you going to slide down?
I can't! It would kill my head off!

Helping us garden Riley gets whiny.
Riley that's enough, be a helper.
I can't! I'm too tired.
Ok, then let's go in and have a nap.
No! I'll help.
Good.
(Several minutes go by, she's fussing again)
I want to go in.
Oh?
I want to go in. I suppose I could take a little nap.

Grandma, it's Tinkerbell's birthday! Let's go shopping and get her some handy downs at Target!

And from Big Brother:
Isaac are you going to fast forward? Or all we watching ALL the previews?
I was watching them...ok. Oh, I can't it says it's Fah-buyed-in.
What?
Operation Fah-buyed-in.
(Laughing)Forbidden buddy.

Putting away dishes
(holds up the baster) Mom, where does the giant eyedropper go?

Check-up Time

Every so often (probably less often than I should) I check in with my regular doctor. The impetus this time was my impending birthday and some requests from the DMV. You see they've passed a new law that requires more frequent letters of eligibility for disabled parking permits. That is all well and good, but I don't think it will cut down on fraud the way they are hoping. The criminals will still cart granny to the doctor for a letter and then use her tag for their own ends. What's needed is more enforcement of the rules. I understand it's a question of resources, but the only way to change things is to start catching and punishing more cheaters.

From the stand point of someone with a permanent life long disability the requirement is pretty humorous:
Dear DMV,
I did NOT wake up without Cerebral Palsy this year.
Sincerely
Me
It reminds me of the time my high school demanded a doctor's note stating that my wheelchair could not go up the stairs before I could have an elevator key. Sigh.

Anyway, as it turns out I'm in pretty good shape. Reasonably sized, reasonable blood pressure, reasonable heart and lung function. My only compliant being more frequent migraines lately. Weather? Stress? Not enough sleep? He was most concerned about how tired I looked. I explained that I'd had a few pretty intense nightmares. We discussed them, but couldn't pinpoint an obvious cause. It could be that I recently started getting the paper delivered (for the coupons) and you can't ignore some of those headlines. Maybe it's because I've been watching my fair share of Twilight Zone since the New Year's Eve marathon. Darn it, Rod! It's really neither here than there.

I left with my letter for the DMV and a prescription for migraine medicine. I hope it will be another year and a half before I'm back in again. I like my primary care very much, but visits are so expensive especially if you're sick.

Ready, Set, Normal

As always I use that term loosely. I merely mean all the holiday fuss has died down and we are back to the routine. I, for one, am beyond grateful. I like my routine (you'll see why in a minute). Yesterday the kids went to school and I cleaned the house in peace. Today I went to the library for story time with Riley and her friends. They've grown up so much! For your viewing pleasure I present the first Shake Your Body Down of 2013.

Good stuff! Happy same old same old everybody (:

Conversations With Cute: It's A New Year

I lean over and touch my forehead to Riley's forehead

She Giggles and says: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

I took Riley popsicle away because she left the table
MaaaaaaaMom! Where is my pop-sick-el?!?
Back in the freezer, you know the rules.
But I WANT it! I'm NOT done....etc (several minutes of fussing in protest)
Hey Riley, wanna take a shower?
brief pause in fussing
(while running at full speed toward the bathroom)
Oh yes! I feel so guilty now. I am as excited as the world. Sorry about fussing. Yes, please a shower.
Those are EXACT words.

Riley to me at nap time:
Mommy can you read "The Monster That Ate My Socks" on your candle?
(Laughing) Kindle, honey. Sure.
Oh good! Let's push that story.(referring to the way you turn electronic pages)

Riley loves to clean so much. She was wiping my kitchen cupboards while I did dishes when suddenly it was more than she could bear.
What is this? (points to a reddish drip on the cupboard)
(Without looking up) I don't know Riley
Daddy! Daddy!
What Riley?
What IS this! What the HECK is it?!? (pointing to the same drip)
Ketchup?
No!! It's pizza sauce! Daddy, did you make this mess?
Maybe
You did. Damn it Daddy. You made this mess.

Remember while Mike is generally a slob, this was merely one drip on one cupboard. Her exasperation and cursing were a complete surprise. Don't worry Mike apologized and Riley wiped it off. Stupid white cabinets.

While playing with the magnetic dolls her Grandma gave her for Christmas I offered Riley a red coat for her girl.
She considered it briefly, held it up to her doll and then rejected it saying: No, it's too...French!
(I have have no idea why she would say that, but I found it very funny).

In the car.
The grass is wet
Yeah
The grass is wet because...the bees dropped pollen on it.
(laughing Mike explains about dew)
Oh, can you SEE pollen?
Not one piece, but when there's a lot of it.
Do bees leave footprints in the wet dew?