Conversations With Christmas Cute

Riley:(Sees an inflatable snowman out the car window) Hi! (S)nowman. (waving).
Mommy:(laughing)That's nice Riley
Riley: (as we're pulling into the driveway, still waving) Hi, hi (s)nowman. (her voice lowers slightly) Hi, Riley!
Mommy: (laughing harder)
Riley: Did you hear the (s)nowman say hi?
Mommy: Yes, what a friendly snowman.

Riley was being very two the other day. Finally I made her look at me and asked her to be a good listener.
Mommy: Riley, be a good girl. You know what? Santa only brings toys to the good girls who listen to their mommies. You want Santa to bring you toys, don't you?
Riley: Gonna be good, yeah. Santa bring toys, yeah.
Sometime later
Mommy: Riley that's not nice! Mommy doesn't like that. Santa doesn't like that. What does Santa like?
Riley: Reindeer!
Although she missed my point she wasn't wrong.

Conversing With Cute

Riley: Want a coooookie!
Mommy: Please?
Riley: Please, have a cookie.
Mommy: Here ya go.
Riley: Ah, (T)hank you!

She sits down and eats it. The room is silent for a minute. Then she springs to her feet.
Riley: Nother cookie, pleeeease.
Mommy: I don't know how old are you?
Riley: (Without skipping a beat) Twelve.
Mommy: (trying to stop laughing long enough to disagree) No you're not. How old are you, Riley?
Riley: (long pause) Two
Mommy: That's right. You're two so you can have two cookies. (I give her the cookie)
Daddy: (laughing) I bet you wish you were twelve now!

Several days later.

Mommy: What a good helper, Thank You.
Riley: You're Welcome!
Mommy: Should we have a cookie now?
Riley: Yes. I'm two, two cookies!

This morning Riley was laying in my bed talking to me and Mike was still dozing. She kept asking me to sing Tiny Tim faster and faster. She thought it was very funny. Eventually, Mike stirred and Riley gave him some hugs.

Riley: Good Mornin'!
Daddy: Hi, Riley
Riley: (pointing to the flowers I got in the hospital)they're not (s)cary. Want to (s)mell them!
Daddy: They don't really have a smell
Riley: It's ok, they're not (s)cary. (s)mell them!
Daddy: Ok (they "smell them)
(Riley stands up to look out the window and notices some green paint spots on the the white tile window sill)
Riley: Uh-oh! Daddy (s)pilled some paint.
Daddy: Where?
Riley: On dare! (points to the window)
Daddy: Oh
Riley: It's white not green. Don't paint there.
Daddy: Ok
Riley: Green for walls. You're supposed to be sorry.
Daddy: (laughing) I'm sorry, Riley.

Being Almost Two

Riley has a lot of moments where I shake my head and say "Are you being 2 again?" When she insists on picking her own clothes and ends up in head to toe pink. Afterward she adds every plastic necklace in her collection and a dinosaur baseball cap. Sometimes she insists panties and a bike helmet is dressed. Sometimes she demands cookies for breakfast, you know, the usual stuff.

She has incredible mood swings. She'll get all excited about something (ie Grandma coming over, going to Boo's or having some watermelon) and moments later be upset about it. The other day she was screaming in excitement to go see Boo and then I asked her to come get dressed which got a mini meltdown response. I talked her into it and then we got out the door all smiles, but in the driveway she refused to get in the car. I have no idea why. Through herself on the driveway and screamed. I asked her if she wanted to stay home and go to time out instead of going to Boo's and she answered "time out!". Unfortunately she'd called my bluff this time. I'd say I'm more consistent than most, but I was not prepared to follow through this time. I got her in the car seat and she played happily. When we pulled up in their driveway I said, "Do you want to go see your friends?" "no!". She did go in and play and I have no idea what that stuff was all about.

Frustration is the biggest thing. When we don't understand what she wants she looses her cool quickly (increasingly dramatically depending on level of sleep). It's understandable that now that we know what she's saying 90% of the time the other 10% is super frustrating. Welcome to the second year (almost) Miss Roo.

There are also moments when it's a complete blessing. Like not having to change poopy diapers anymore. This morning Riley saw her brother all dressed in his yellow summer camp shirt and said "Camp!". I replied "Yup, Isaac's ready for camp." Riley sighed slightly and then said "Eye-Gick, camp. Help me." She paused pointing to her back and said "Rye-Ee backpack". Now, dumb old Mommy figured it out. "You want to help take Isaac to camp and wear your backpack?". When I take her with me to drop off or pick up Isaac she wears her Dora backpack so I can hang on to her. "Yes!" she replied.

I was so proud of her for not getting frustrated and screaming or throwing herself to the floor. She just gradually added more information to the statement with the words at her disposal. I got her dressed so they she could go "help me" and told Mike the story. We gave her lots of praise and even dusted off the potty treat container and rewarded her for using her words so well. It's going to be interesting from here...

Michigan J. Frog

Riley's brain grew overnight. She came to show me a pencil, unsharpened, her brother gave her for Valentine's. It's got owls and hearts all over it. Well, she marched right over to mommy, held it up and said "Owl. Pen-sol" and then "Whoo!" before she ran away. I was stunned. I didn't know she knew what the word "pencil" meant.

A few minutes later I looked over to see Riley writing on a piece of paper. Not making random scribbly motions with her whole arm, but considerately making a line in a spot and picking up her pencil and doing it again, making a little zigzag at the end. I asked Mike if he was seeing what I was seeing. He confirmed it, she was attempting to write. Inspection of her coloring book revealed she'd been "writing" all morning, using different colors for different "words". I thought that attempts at writing were at least a year away, who knew?

Riley's been answering "no" to things a lot. She has a "No-No" that means you're not supposed to be doing that (usually accompanied by finger wagging) and a "Nooo. No." which means I don't want to. She's been a lot more verbally responsive lately in general. If you ask her a question she answers you. She also has a gleeful "Yes!" and a causal "yup." It's amazing how much she understands about spoken language.

She shocked us again at dinner time. Mike was getting something out of the fridge and as is mandatory for all toddlers she was running under his arm and grabbing condiment bottles. She brought me salad dressing, and Mike and I gave her the obligatory sing-song, "Oh, what do YOU have? Saaalad dressing! Verrry nice!", and then I sent her back to put it away, which she proudly did, trading it for the barbecue sauce on the sly. Mike asked again, "What do you have?" This time she said clear as a bell, "barbecue!". We both started laughing histerically, and she repeated it again, "barbecue," pointing at it like, "I'm not kidding guys! That's what this is."

Communication Stinks

I think every parent has been in the middle of three things and absentmindedly said yes to something that they shouldn't or wouldn't have, "zombie answer". It happens to the best of us. The consequences usually involve a flooded bath room, food explosion in the microwave, missing keys (wallet, cell phone, etc). There's also the case of "the over-ask". When you've been asked 27 times for anything it has the exact opposite affect then was intended.

Yesterday, Isaac asked me every 30 seconds from the time he got home until bedtime for $2. I was already planning to give it to him before he asked, but after the 5th time I said snapped and told him if asked again there wouldn't be a field trip. As a result I was so sick of hearing and thinking about it that the money didn't get paperclipped to the permission slip before he left for school. I have to admit I'm glad he had to sweat it out a bit before the money was dropped off in the office for him. "The over-ask" is one of the worst.

On the other hand there's the "didn't I tell you.." Mike is a big perpetrator of that. I discuss my plan for months and he nods along until the day of when there's suddenly a huge problem. He usually thinks he told me about it, but sometimes he admits he's been thinking about it all week and not mentioned it. Typically, I'll ask him to do me a favor and typically it's something I usually do that if he took over would allow me a break. He agrees enthusiastically in the moment "because I should rest". I remind him of my approaching break and he absentmindedly nods or grunts from behind his laptop with best of intentions. When the day arrives though, the reality of everything he's agreed to is too much. He's overwhelmed and (perhaps because he feels guilty) he doesn't let me in on this until the last minute. At this point we're both overwhelmed and irritated. Badly timed information makes for a bad day.

The other time this happens a lot is invitations. It always goes like this. Me: Hey do you want to go to (family gathering, wedding, birthday party, etc)? We have (other events/nothing) that weekend. What do you think? Mike: Ok. That's fine. A few days later Me: Don't forget we're going to _______ this weekend. Mike: Oh, yeah. Ok. The day before Me: We have that thing tomorrow. Mike: Oh ok..do we have (the gift, directions, etc) Me: Yes, we're all set The day of Mike: Why are we going to this? (As he searches for his other shoe, keys, wallet, etc) Me: You said you wanted to go. We already told them and our kids we were going. Mike: (continues to complain as he grumpily heads out the door) In the car Mike: What we should have done was...(better plan for the weekend, getting there, the gift I picked, etc that he has not previously shared until this moment)

The mother of them all is the lie of omission. Not an absent minded forgetful thing (often revealing itself with the worst of possible timing), but a malicious omission. Like when you ask "where ya going?"/"whatcha doing?" and get "no where/nothing" as an answer. No good ever comes after someone answers "no where or nothing" to a direct question. When it's a child it results in similar or more devastating destruction than the "zombie answer." With your spouse it's way worse. It is never a romantic surprise like us girls always hope for. It's a 3am trip to Taco Bell, an entire weekend working on the car while you watch the kids by yourself, the demolition of your kitchen for the sake of a project or the bank account suddenly being in overdraft. Beyond that it makes me feel like a monster or at least not an equal partner.

I'm human too. I would understand your desperate need for a taco just tell me before I wake up find you gone and have an anxiety attack. I watch way too much TV to assume everything's fine when you're not in bed in the middle of the night. I certainly understand needing to disappear for a while, but it works much better if we're both in on it. I even understand that there are occasionally things worth draining the bank account for, but if you don't give me a chance to agree or come up with a plan B than I feel irrelevant. I don't want to be the Nanny who enforces the rules and keeps everyone in line while you get to be the fun impulsive one. We're supposed to be in it together.

Communication is a lot like a traffic light that's out at a major intersection. Either everyone does what they are supposed to do and executes a beautiful four way stop or it's chaos. I've seen it done many times. When I lived in California people understood the procedure and followed it amazingly well, most of the time. I was always filled with anxiety coming up to a light that was out and then I'd see everyone waiting their turn and my faith in humanity would replenish itself. On the other hand some people plow through obviously causing accidents, nearly missing police officers directing traffic and making everyone else really nervous. The goal is to do more of the former and than everyone gets what they need. Here's hoping.

Sign of the Times

I have never subscribed to the "children should be seen and not heard" philosophy. I have vivid memories of how painful and frustrating being ignored as a child was. I always hoped for a smart and eloquent child. Not being able to express yourself clearly is so frustrating and leads people to all kinds of false assumptions about your manners and intelligence.

I find myself humbled by karma alot as a mother. There are so many ill-informed judgments I made before I had children that I find myself on the receiving end of now. Apologies universe I had no idea what parenting was really like. For example my dad recently expressed dismay that I had "taught Riley these weird hand signals." He went on to explain that "it would be better if I just taught her to talk."

Thanks, Dad. First of all those "weird hand signals" are American Sign Language. I didn't instruct my toddler to conduct Mozart, coach softball or land fighter jets. Secondly, I am teaching her to talk. It is my first priority (at least until potty training gets more serious). I need her to be able to tell me, or any adult, what she needs that is why I taught her a few signs.

As Miss Roo crept closer to her first birthday a disturbing pattern of screeching at Mommy emerged, especially when she was hungry. At which point I taught Riley the signs for more and eat. That helped my ear drums and stress level immensely. When she was old enough to eat all her meals in a high chair she started screaming to be let out (or later throwing food) when she was done. I decided then it was time to teach her the sign for all done.

At this point she does more, eat, all done and sometimes please. That's 4 signs I see on a regular basis. Do you want to guess how many words I hear everyday?  Mama, Dada, Shooz (shoe), Peezz (please), Out, Baah (Boom), Bruder (brother), Bath, Yes, No etc We're probably talking at least 10 words I hear daily not counting copious animal noises. When you start talking about words I used to hear all the time, but don't anymore there's Hair, Duck, Ho (Hold), Help, Pretty, Good etc. There's also things I've heard once or twice in proper context and then never again like Clock, Wipes, Mad, Gasses (Glasses), etc. Riley's vocabulary is pretty good for someone her age and more important than that her cognitive abilities blow my mind.

You can say "Riley, go get your pink shoes please." and she'll bring you want you requested. If I say "Do you want to go take a bath?" she walks to the bathroom. If I ask "where's Dada?" she knocks on our bedroom door. It's so amazing how quickly the human brain becomes aware. It's so much quicker than the ability to speak develops fully.

So, to my former single judey wudey self, my dad and the rest of the folks who have disdain for baby signs wait until you have a toddler red faced and shirking for 5min on end and your every attempt to appease them fails and then tell me what you think. In the end parenting is all about what works for you and your little one and this works wonders for Riley and I. It makes fussy periods shorter because we have to guess less. It helps babysitters who are less familiar with her routine. It shows her how much easier life is when she can communicate (which encourages her to talk). I've even had her sign and speak a word at the same time. Perhaps the most important thing to me is that it's an early introduction to manners. I love polite children.

At this point more has become the sign for all occasions. When she's hungry, wants you to read the book again, wants to go higher on the swing or needs more tickles. I'm trying to teach her new signs so she can answer when I say "more what, Riley?". I'm trying to tech her milk, juice, play and outside. We'll see how it goes. Sometimes I'll ask her while signing if she wants more and she'll answer with the word and no sign.

No worries, talking is not an issue for Miss Roo. I'm sure I'll miss this stage, soon when she communicates in full sentences and every declaration isn't a surprise. I love hearing her voice, but more than that I love that there are fewer tears when she can just tell me what she wants one way or another.

Productivity

Amazingly, or predictably depending on your perceptive, I finished sewing 10 hedgehog finger puppets in the time it took me to make one last weekend. It helped that my cleaning lady came over. She helped me reorganize Riley's clothes and toys. Between us had we had all the clothes sorted by size and put away accordingly, the book shelf reorganized (so Riley could reach her books), and the toys neatly put away in 2 hours. I felt really good about having her room ready for the onslaught of birthday toys.


While we waited for the laundry she even help me cut out lots of little felt hedgehog bodies. After she left I really got to sewing. I got much better at it with each one I did. I think I'll take a sewing class. I'd really like to be able to make things for Riley. I took a break after a few to reorganize Isaac's dresser. This time I gave folding lessons as well and it must be a maturity thing, but he was surprisingly attentive.


At the end of the business day the house was clean including two newly organized kids rooms, 4 loads of laundry had been washed, folded and put away (even with a pulled neck muscle from a little fall) and all the finger puppets were done.


Pat, pat, pat myself on my newly inflexible back.


When I gave my almost birthday girl her bath tonight she tried to climb head first into the tub fully clothed all the while repeating "Bath? Bath?" I managed to get her undressed and in the tub as excited as she was and her first order of business was to pick up her rubber duckey and exclaim "Duck!" before spraying herself in the face with it. I think as long you have a good sense of humor toddlerhood is great.

My Little Communicator

Riley has always been very communicative. Not just whether she was happy or sad, she really tried to find ways to tell us what she needed. She always fusses in a certain way when she's gonna spit up and if I don't understand she'll sometimes gesture as if she's wiping her face. It's true. Just a little while ago she took an afternoon nap and when Mike went in to get her I heard him say "What have you done?" Apparently, she kicked her pants completely off. Turns out she had a very full diaper and was just getting things started for him. Clever little girl.

She loves hair and it was the first carefully and clearly articulated thing she ever said. Mike was shaking his head and she was smiling. So I let mine down and brushed her face with it and she looked at us and said "hair." Weird, I know, but that was the first word. She makes an "Ah" sound that means daddy and sometimes looks to his side of the couch when she says it. She sometimes does an M sound I'm guessing is an attempt at Mama. She has a sound for milk that's pretty close to the last syllable of the word. She also "says" Help and Now. Mike insists it's because those are two words I use a lot.

The other day there was a new one. She kept saying, "Ho". Over and over throughout the day. I joked she was doing a Santa impression or reading her Christmas socks, but it was clear that this was going to be a regular sound and it would be in my best interest to figure out what it meant. I'd have her on the changing table and she'd look up and say "Ho." It, like most of her "words", was absolutely a request. I guessed at it for two days before I realized she never said it when I was holding her only on the changing table, the crib or the swing. She was asking me to hold her! "Ho" for hold what a smart girl.