Lattes and Labwork

I always forgot/block out what a long day pre-op lab work day always is. I had to do it right away because next Friday is Miss Roo's 4th birthday and the next day is her party. In order to get my head in the right space I threw coupons to the wind and splurged on my beloved pumpkin latte and donuts. so, I started the adventure caffeinated and with an overwhelming sense of deja vu.

They still needed the actual disc of my cat scan films because Dr. B was only able to view them online thus far. That added an annoying errand to the itinerary. I'm just grateful my mom was driving after picking up breakfast. I met with Joe, the right hand man, and him alone regardless of the mention of the hardware rep the day before yesterday. He seemed confident that once we got the disc to them we'd be ready to roll. He discounted my theory for the loose hardware with complete confidence and told me it wasn't "uncommon" for hardware to come loose. (Yikes.) I may get more aggressive about exploring other explanations down the road, but for now I'm requesting a copy of my chart and hitting the Google. Besides, it's completely obvious that I forced the hardware out with my Jedi mind powers! Duh. The force IS strong.

After our chat with Joe we proceeded to procure the elusive disc (but not before obtaining stickers and a lollipop to bring to Miss Roo). When we got there the old man at the desk was a bit huffy that we hadn't called ahead and dismissed the nurses claim that the line was busy out of hand. Nevertheless fifteen minutes later we were walking out the door with the object of our quest. My Jedi powers probably helped us out there too (they can't hurt).

Because one hospital in one day wasn't enough we went over to the hospital where my surgery will be. Sigh. That's when the real fun began. Pre-registration (just like for a vacation), blood work, EKG and chest x-ray. I still hate needles. How far are we from functional tricorders? While we're on the subject I'd love an ETA on the Doctor's super scalpel that can just beam objects out of you too. Anyway, back in reality everything went pretty much hitch-less until the final test which we had to wait almost a million hours to do which was annoying because it was far from crowded and the X-ray itself took less than two minutes. After which they forgot to give me my paperwork back. After one last chat with the admitting nurse it was time to deliver the disc to the Ortho and find some freaking lunch.

I miss being single on days like today when my fondest wish was to finish my lunch and go home and crawl into bed. No such luck, Isaac needed paperwork filled out and supplies gathered for gifted, homework supervision and a ride to the library to pick up his hold items before they close for the long weekend. After that it was off to collect Miss Roo from school and back home. Despite being told I was tagging him him at 6pm exactly if not sooner Mike is still working well past 7pm so I had a clumsy jaunt into the kitchen to reheat leftovers for the kiddos. Thanks to some streaming Hello Kitty cartoons I'm hoping all will be quiet until Mike really is off the clock.

Speaking of, I hope all his quiet until the 10th.

The Not So Exciting Conclusion

I apologize for letting this post sit in my drafts box, but after everything was said and done I just didn't want to talk about it anymore. In fact, I explained the situation to Riley and let her fill people in when they called that day.

It turns out I have a hormone imbalance that causes very large cysts to grow and subsequently burst every month. Apparently it's common in "skinny girls" according to the Dr. The pain change I felt was the latest one bursting. They saw it clearly on the MRI and confirmed it had burst. The answer at this point is to start taking the pill to prevent ovulation. I'm not sure how long it will take my body to right itself, but I am grateful it isn't more serious. It's such a bummer to have to regulate your hormones when your no longer worried about contraception.

The Dr. maintains removing the whole apparatus or even part, would either do nothing or cause more harm than good. I will follow up with her in six weeks. After my appointment I expected a sense of relief to wash over me, but mostly I feel disappointed. I hate that I subjected my body to that process for a year, I hate the solution and I super hate how long it took to get to it!

So, now I am on the roller coaster of crazy that is restarting the pill after having been on it a decade and off it for four years. Poor Mike. At least I'm (hopefully) done with intense pain waking me up in the middle of the night because that really is the kids job after all. I'm not going to lie I am looking forward to more predictable clear skin too.

Getting Ready for the Next Round

Last night I started really thinking about discussing my test results with the doctor. I had flashbacks of the first time this happened and that even in the emergency room setting I felt like no one was listening. Even after they had gone in laparoscopically for a picture of the mass no one was listening to me. They wanted to send me home doped up and hope it went away on it's own. I fought harder and they agreed to remove it. I'll never forgot the doctor standing at my bedside apologizing to me. Thank God I pushed. The thing is the whole ordeal was supposed to be one of those freak events almost never happens. So why is it happening again?

Even before the pain started I complained that something was wrong. I listened when she said it was nothing, but I refused to go on anything to regulate my hormones. I believe the exact sentiment was "if it bothers you, go back on the pill." Then the pain started and I was sure I knew the score. The clear ultrasound threw me for a loop and doomed me to months and months of more suffering. I stalled under the erroneous belief that it had to be a GI issue.

Now a year out from when the pain started I know I was right and I am terrified. I'm absolutely horror struck that it went on this long. I had to fight to get my results from the cat scan in the right hands. It doesn't bode well for me. I was told things that can't possibly be right in the absence of my doctor.

Today I left a message asking if the Dr. had seen my results. Gloves on, although I've lost track of the round number. The nurse I've grown so disdainful of after the faxing of results fiasco called me back after an hour. The moment of hope I felt glancing at the caller ID was dashed when I answered. Even the sound of her cigarette riddled voice tightened my stomach. "The doctor wants you to have an ultrasound."
[Long conversation about repeating the test when showed nothing at the beginning of the process. Mostly, me making valid points while she repeats her original statement in different ways]
In the end I relented. I will have ANOTHER ultrasound in a few days. The difference is this time the Dr. will see me as soon as am done to discuss all of the results from the scan and the ultrasound.

I'm hoping we have a plan we can agree on by the time I leave, but I'm afraid there will be a long boxing match first. "This the most common cause...." "but this is my history" "True, but the odds..." "The odds of having it the first time..." "It maybe slower this way..." "I've already been dealing with pain that would have sent me to the ER if I did have to work out kid logistics for a year! Now's not the time to hope it goes away..." etc...

This time I have my age and the fact that I've already had a baby working for me rather than against me at least. Maybe I'm paranoid, having not yet actually spoken to the doctor it's hard to know what she thinks. I'm still grateful that at least the fight for answers is over and now it's about a plan.

Abdominal Angst and Answers

Last 4th of July I had a horrible pain in my abdomen. I thought it was terrible cramps, but as it persisted I became convinced it was another fibroid. I had one removed from my uterus 2yrs before I had Riley. It seemed to be effected by hormone levels and I'd only felt that intensity of pain with the necrotic fibroid all those years ago. Despite my certainty I waited months before seeing the doctor.

They took my claims seriously and did an ultrasound immediately. They told me a few days later that it was clear. I was stunned. They told me to go see a gastro intestinal specialist (ick). I waited months and in that time the pain became more frequent and intense. The GI wanted me to go for a scan immediately.

As it turns out, I got my results almost one year to the day from when the pain started. Surprise!! My GI tract is fine. What they saw that alarmed them was a mass on my left ovary. Deja vu! That is exactly how this presented last time. Also "I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO!" As an added bonus the hardware in my back is coming loose! Do I have any pain in my upper back? God yes! Damn my old ortho to hell!

An all day game of phone tag with the GYN has resulted from trying to get them the results. They were faxed at 9:30, but the fax line was down. Then the GI was at lunch so I couldn't give them the new number. Since they re-sent the results I've tried calling the GYN, but have only been able to leave messages.

I hope they take this thing out really soon. It's been hurting me for a long time.

Ultrasound Appointment

I felt awful last night so I took a muscle relaxer and slept until noon today (I'm pretty sure it was the first time in 5yrs). I, of course, woke up enough to direct children and husband in morning activities, but that was it. I needed it. I bummed around until right before my appointment. That part of the day was nice.

The tech listened carefully while I recounted my complicated history. I never know whether finding something or finding nothing is worse. She did say she didn't see a cyst. The working theory is currently that it ruptured last cycle (hence the increase in pain). Then she informed me it could take 2 weeks for results. Of. Course. I'm fairly certain at this point it isn't too serious, fingers crossed!

I did get the call about hip surgery right after I left the ultrasound appointment though. I'll be getting my hardware out the Monday after Thanksgiving in the afternoon. Honestly, it's a big relief now that it's scheduled. I'm so glad the timing worked out. It's extraordinary how much peace having it on the books brought me. So, now that it is just another line on my to do list I will just go back to business as usual.

Now, it's time to "Get Kraken" on throwing a 10th birthday party. A squid themed 10th birthday, no less. I'm making squid lanterns and Mike and I are collaborating on squid cupcakes. It'll be interesting. Isaac's parties have always been a little outside the box.

Medical Shenanigans

It's a terribly long (probably boring) story, but let's just say I've had enough of doctors for two lifetimes. So, I did what any mature adult would do after years of complying with medical advice...I stopped. I just quit showing up/making/telling anyone I needed appointments for anything. For months I pretended to be one of those "normal people" I've heard about. It was good while it lasted, but as anyone might have predicted it bit me in the ass. So, tomorrow: Hi, Ho Hi, Ho Hi, Ho it's back to the doctor I go.

First up New Ortho and the one year follow-up to my surgical hip dislocation. It was a major procedure to give me a normal socket and delay what I'm told will be inevitable hip replacement (future's so bright I gotta wear shades, my friends). I know what will happen. I could write the script word for word.

Looks good. Any problems?
It's still popping all the time.
Yeah, your IT band over the screw head. Better take them out.

I'm just too skinny for all this hardware. Too bony to be bionic. Another notch in the surgical...bed rail? Minor, sure. Necessary? Probably. Face the prospect in a mature adult manner? Pass. I'll cry and eat chocolate, thanks.

Speaking of, that brings me to my other issue. Is it another mass? More cancerous cells? An incubating alien life form? According to the OBGYN there's no indication of a mass. That's something. The pain went on for 6 months before I was scared enough to go back in. My 10 on the famous frowny-face-pain-scale is higher than most trust me. It was like dying last time it the pain happened. This issue is like having another child, it likes to wait until the middle of the night to cause me stress, fear and pain. Seriously, I can tell when I'm scaring Mike and I scared him.

The girlie doc says it's probably nothing going back on the pill won't fix. Grumble..grumble...stupid pill. The point of having your tubes tied is that you NEVER have to take the pill again. She thinks it's a run of the mill cyst and stopping up the plumbing will fix me right up. Hmmm...I just don't buy it. It's not impossible. Still one sided excruciating pain for 6 months? She scheduled me an ultrasound. That'll be Wednesday. Back to back fun, that's how I roll.

Sometimes, I think I got a used model. I'm only 30yrs old, but my parts seem much older. The ortho stuff is one thing. Bones are easy to see, touch or screw back together (I know that last one from experience). This other stuff is much trickier. Fingers crossed and kids Halloween candy raided!

That's A Wrap, Worldly Wednesday

I'm sad to report we never got a response from our pen pals. We started with a little boy in China and when he never responded we tried a girl in England, but never heard back. I'm guessing kids write to their pen pals more regularly during the school year. We studied a hand full of Asian countries (mainly China & Japan), Australia and New Zealand, The United States and today we wrapped up with a discussion of the Celts.

On our summer schedule we're typically on the go Tuesdays (library), Thursdays (take-a-trip) and Fridays (errands). Mondays and Wednesdays we usually stay put, but today I had a bone density test. Every time I thought about it I heard an old fashioned comedy routine: how dense are your bones? My bones are soooooo dense....cheesy punch line and ba, da, bum ching. So, we did a little math and had some literary discussion (Matilda and Coraline) before we headed out.

Apparently, they measure bone density by taking x-rays of growth plates and measuring something. They normally do your leg, wrist, hip and spine. They had to skip my spine because of the rods though. It was very brief. Isaac waited with Grandma and did almost two sections in his workbook. Afterwards, we got happy meals at the new McDonalds and I had planned on taking Isaac to Brave, but it wasn't to be. Maybe over the weekend.

We came home and poured over the The Book of Kells and lots of other stunning examples of Celtic knots. I told Isaac as much as I could remember driving back from my appointment, but we filled in the blanks when we got home with help of the interweb. I gave him a Celtic cross to color and asked him to design his own as well.

After that, I tagged Mike in for dinner and bedtime and went off to a meeting at Panera. (:

Goodbye, Worldly Wednesday.

In other news, we had "Preschool Jams" with Riley's friends yesterday since the library program is done and then dance class. Here is some cuteness:

Jamming in Dress-up Clothes

Dance Class

Riley and her "big girl friend" C.

Fancy star stamp for a job well done.

Tuesday is Test Day

These are the things that came out of my back on 5/3/12. Well, not these, but this is what they looked like. I told anyone who would listen that I wanted them. In my childhood if hardware came out they washed it with Betadine tossed it in a specimen cup and let you take it.

In fact that seems to have been the policy until very recently. When I had the surgery I was informed that it was not procedure to send anything that is removed from a human body to pathology. Even if it's not biological matter. STUPPPPPPID. So, I was informed that I had to come back and pick them up from pathology within 30 days. So, I went back today unaware that it was day 31 and they had thrown it away Monday. I had told Riley all the way down there we're going to get Mommy's treasure. When the door shut she turned to me and asked, "Did they throw away your treasure, Momma?". "Yes, baby they sure did." "That's mean." "Yes, it is." "Don't worry I'll find you some new treasure." "Thanks, sweetie."

I had an MRI at Old Ortho's that showed a fracture so he sent me for lab work and some scans. I went and got radioactive isotope shot into me, had a CT scan, got blood drawn, not pick up my hardware and then do the bone scan. I had an exhausted screaming toddler, two discs full of images and another day before (hopefully) answers in the end.

What the?!?

In my head I'm her. Freshly showered, hair brushed, make up on, cute dress, freshly pressed apron, clean kitchen and dinner on the stove. In reality? I'm less than put together and I've been unable to literally lift a finger towards cleaning the kitchen (or more accurately an arm). So, are there any House fans out there?

• 30 year old female (with Cerebral Palsy)
• Full spinal fusion 2yrs ago
• Hardware removal on 5/3/12 from my upper back.
• Wheelchair tipped over 5/13 and my upper back hit the front step. An X-ray was taken the following day, no injury.
• 5/21 severe pain starts.
• No fever, no redness, the skin is not hot to the touch.
• No injury recent to the pain.
• Some swelling.
• Taken Advil, used ice and heat.
• Vitals and blood work have not been taken.
• MRI taken 5/29 indicates a FRACTURE on T4
• More tests have been scheduled to confirm fracture and rule out bone infection.
• Pain continues to be debilitating.

Catch that? A spine fracture. How bad ass am I taking care of two kids with a spine fracture for two weeks with only Advil. I thought caring for and breastfeeding an infant after spinal surgery was hard...Well it was. This is equally difficult because I can move around, but using my arms is excruciating. So, I'm well enough to be up and around, but not functional. I have two kids and a puppy who depend on me.

Another weekend to live through before CT and bone scan on Tuesday. I'm pretty sure I glow in the dark at this point. Freaking ouch. Typing is becoming bothersome as well. I'm hoping this will all be over shortly. I have a life to get on with, this is nuts.

I'm Not Going To Take It...

I am supposed to go back to Old Ortho in the morning for MRI results. I have decided I won't. I cannot justify the stress that hell hole causes me. Does it still hurt, yes. Do I need to know what do next, yes. I do not think it's necessary to go there. I called this afternoon to see if he'd bothered to read my results. He had not. I told her to have him call me before my appointment tomorrow. He won't. Instead I will begin calling when the phone lines go on in the morning and keep calling until there's an explanation. If the information warrants going in to the office I will, I'm not enjoying my condition. If it's a matter of picking up a prescription he can fax it to the pharmacy. In the worst case (which wouldn't at all surprise me) if he knows nothing then there's nothing he can do but offer pain meds.

I won't be too dopey to be articulate about my pain and I won't go back if I don't have to. If he knows nothing then I'll try to get in with "the back guy" and my new ortho's office. I suppose with an MRI from the surgeon who did my last surgery (but knows nothing about my pain) they may take me. This is me being hopeful.

I'm thinking horrific sprain or other such injury since I never did develop a fever. Other more scary things are possible, but less likely. If there's fluid in there at least it's a quick fix. A sponge left over from surgery would be infuriating and complicated. A tumor...well it's not because what are the odds (outside of prime time TV) that a person would develop a tumor in the same spot metal was removed 3wks earlier?

I think I'll have ice cream for breakfast tomorrow. Prayers for answers and relief please.