Lattes and Labwork

I always forgot/block out what a long day pre-op lab work day always is. I had to do it right away because next Friday is Miss Roo's 4th birthday and the next day is her party. In order to get my head in the right space I threw coupons to the wind and splurged on my beloved pumpkin latte and donuts. so, I started the adventure caffeinated and with an overwhelming sense of deja vu.

They still needed the actual disc of my cat scan films because Dr. B was only able to view them online thus far. That added an annoying errand to the itinerary. I'm just grateful my mom was driving after picking up breakfast. I met with Joe, the right hand man, and him alone regardless of the mention of the hardware rep the day before yesterday. He seemed confident that once we got the disc to them we'd be ready to roll. He discounted my theory for the loose hardware with complete confidence and told me it wasn't "uncommon" for hardware to come loose. (Yikes.) I may get more aggressive about exploring other explanations down the road, but for now I'm requesting a copy of my chart and hitting the Google. Besides, it's completely obvious that I forced the hardware out with my Jedi mind powers! Duh. The force IS strong.

After our chat with Joe we proceeded to procure the elusive disc (but not before obtaining stickers and a lollipop to bring to Miss Roo). When we got there the old man at the desk was a bit huffy that we hadn't called ahead and dismissed the nurses claim that the line was busy out of hand. Nevertheless fifteen minutes later we were walking out the door with the object of our quest. My Jedi powers probably helped us out there too (they can't hurt).

Because one hospital in one day wasn't enough we went over to the hospital where my surgery will be. Sigh. That's when the real fun began. Pre-registration (just like for a vacation), blood work, EKG and chest x-ray. I still hate needles. How far are we from functional tricorders? While we're on the subject I'd love an ETA on the Doctor's super scalpel that can just beam objects out of you too. Anyway, back in reality everything went pretty much hitch-less until the final test which we had to wait almost a million hours to do which was annoying because it was far from crowded and the X-ray itself took less than two minutes. After which they forgot to give me my paperwork back. After one last chat with the admitting nurse it was time to deliver the disc to the Ortho and find some freaking lunch.

I miss being single on days like today when my fondest wish was to finish my lunch and go home and crawl into bed. No such luck, Isaac needed paperwork filled out and supplies gathered for gifted, homework supervision and a ride to the library to pick up his hold items before they close for the long weekend. After that it was off to collect Miss Roo from school and back home. Despite being told I was tagging him him at 6pm exactly if not sooner Mike is still working well past 7pm so I had a clumsy jaunt into the kitchen to reheat leftovers for the kiddos. Thanks to some streaming Hello Kitty cartoons I'm hoping all will be quiet until Mike really is off the clock.

Speaking of, I hope all his quiet until the 10th.

Getting Ready for the Next Round

Last night I started really thinking about discussing my test results with the doctor. I had flashbacks of the first time this happened and that even in the emergency room setting I felt like no one was listening. Even after they had gone in laparoscopically for a picture of the mass no one was listening to me. They wanted to send me home doped up and hope it went away on it's own. I fought harder and they agreed to remove it. I'll never forgot the doctor standing at my bedside apologizing to me. Thank God I pushed. The thing is the whole ordeal was supposed to be one of those freak events almost never happens. So why is it happening again?

Even before the pain started I complained that something was wrong. I listened when she said it was nothing, but I refused to go on anything to regulate my hormones. I believe the exact sentiment was "if it bothers you, go back on the pill." Then the pain started and I was sure I knew the score. The clear ultrasound threw me for a loop and doomed me to months and months of more suffering. I stalled under the erroneous belief that it had to be a GI issue.

Now a year out from when the pain started I know I was right and I am terrified. I'm absolutely horror struck that it went on this long. I had to fight to get my results from the cat scan in the right hands. It doesn't bode well for me. I was told things that can't possibly be right in the absence of my doctor.

Today I left a message asking if the Dr. had seen my results. Gloves on, although I've lost track of the round number. The nurse I've grown so disdainful of after the faxing of results fiasco called me back after an hour. The moment of hope I felt glancing at the caller ID was dashed when I answered. Even the sound of her cigarette riddled voice tightened my stomach. "The doctor wants you to have an ultrasound."
[Long conversation about repeating the test when showed nothing at the beginning of the process. Mostly, me making valid points while she repeats her original statement in different ways]
In the end I relented. I will have ANOTHER ultrasound in a few days. The difference is this time the Dr. will see me as soon as am done to discuss all of the results from the scan and the ultrasound.

I'm hoping we have a plan we can agree on by the time I leave, but I'm afraid there will be a long boxing match first. "This the most common cause...." "but this is my history" "True, but the odds..." "The odds of having it the first time..." "It maybe slower this way..." "I've already been dealing with pain that would have sent me to the ER if I did have to work out kid logistics for a year! Now's not the time to hope it goes away..." etc...

This time I have my age and the fact that I've already had a baby working for me rather than against me at least. Maybe I'm paranoid, having not yet actually spoken to the doctor it's hard to know what she thinks. I'm still grateful that at least the fight for answers is over and now it's about a plan.

Abdominal Angst and Answers

Last 4th of July I had a horrible pain in my abdomen. I thought it was terrible cramps, but as it persisted I became convinced it was another fibroid. I had one removed from my uterus 2yrs before I had Riley. It seemed to be effected by hormone levels and I'd only felt that intensity of pain with the necrotic fibroid all those years ago. Despite my certainty I waited months before seeing the doctor.

They took my claims seriously and did an ultrasound immediately. They told me a few days later that it was clear. I was stunned. They told me to go see a gastro intestinal specialist (ick). I waited months and in that time the pain became more frequent and intense. The GI wanted me to go for a scan immediately.

As it turns out, I got my results almost one year to the day from when the pain started. Surprise!! My GI tract is fine. What they saw that alarmed them was a mass on my left ovary. Deja vu! That is exactly how this presented last time. Also "I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO!" As an added bonus the hardware in my back is coming loose! Do I have any pain in my upper back? God yes! Damn my old ortho to hell!

An all day game of phone tag with the GYN has resulted from trying to get them the results. They were faxed at 9:30, but the fax line was down. Then the GI was at lunch so I couldn't give them the new number. Since they re-sent the results I've tried calling the GYN, but have only been able to leave messages.

I hope they take this thing out really soon. It's been hurting me for a long time.

Foot Fail Update!

I've been really suffering with the pronation issue as my shoes are now completely shot. I've been having crazy foot and ankle pain as well as spasms up my legs. It super sucks because I'm so busy right now and I can't afford to be in pain. This week inspiration hit: I would call a pediatric hospital and see where they send kids for this kind of thing! Duh, right? Honestly, I'm sure it occurred to me before but I didn't follow up because I had no idea what an impossible quest the whole thing was.

The pediatric hospital here is big and it took twenty minutes of menus, transfers and new phone numbers to get my question answered (which after a year of on again off again searching is pretty damn good). Next I hit up Google for their contact information and a general sense of who I dealing with. "This could work..." was my cautiously optimistic assessment based solely on the hospital's referral and their web presence. The receptionist assured me they work with children and order small shoes all the time and then let me talk to an orthotist. He also assured me small sizes were no problem and was sure a few inserts would have me all fixed up. Silly man, my orthopedic problems don't do simple. I set up an appointment.

I had to swing by my orthopedic's office for a new prescription because he wrote the old one LAST July (impossible quest). With the newer and shockingly more legible script in hand off I went. I was honestly beside myself with anxiety that they may not be able to help. As it turns out I am complicated, but not entirely hopeless. She even has a daughter with CP! So she was familiar on some level with my brand of complicated.

As you can see from the photo she made molds of my feet. I've been through this process quite literally thousands of times. I think I've worn every kind of brace ever invented at this point. So, when she began the cast saw spiel I interrupted and said "It's ok, I'm good. Go ahead. They run it along their hand to show it doesn't cut you, etc. They do overheat if handled improperly, but that's a whole other story.

She's going to consider the copious amounts of information I gave her and my feet for a while. The hope is that we can come to a solution that will help me without breaking the bank. The insurance clowns will pay for inserts, but not shoes. Even if they're medically necessary adults are on their own with shoes. Chronic orthopedic conditions and insurance companies don't play well together. So, here's hoping in the near future this whole issue will be behind me.

My feet are in your hands now.

F#&% Tape!

Yesterday, I ventured out on my own. Not far, not for long, but I did it. I was feeling pretty good. The itching under my bandage, which had started to bother me, intensified. Sooooooo much tape! Never mind having to wrap my leg in garbage bags to shower this stupid thing had passed inconvenient and become painful. Between Mike and my Mom we trimmed back the tape. I assumed giving it some air would help and I'd make it to my follow up on the 11th with the bandage intact. It's the ONLY disadvantage to day surgery: you go home with the bandage they put on in the operating room. They ALWAYS over do the tape. When you're admitted to the hospital they change your dressing before discharge. You get a little air and they're more conservative with the tape.

When they trimmed my tape it was obvious my skin was breaking down. It kept me up last night it was so uncomfortable. This morning I called the doctor to report this development. I was afraid I'd be stuck like this for several more days. Nothing causes a psychotic break like the interrupted sleep caused by and sheer torture that is constant itching. Not to mention the wounds caused by skin breakdown/scratching. Luckily, they had a cancellation so I only had to make it until noon.

The nurse looked sympathetic and told me anyone with any skin sensitivity has issues with the tape they use in the OR. I get welts from bandaids so it isn't surprising I was having such a miserable time. I was stunned when they took it off and told me my stitches could come out (almost a week early). It was mildly unpleasant to get them out, but it meant no more tape. WOOHOO! I didn't really feel it until it until I got back to the car, but Ouch! Not that I'm complaining, I'll take the temporary pain over constant itching any day. Phew. I hope this means decent sleep tonight.

Onward healing process. Now I don't have to go back to the Ortho until after Christmas. Yay!

Set Backs and Forward Motion

I got a call about the ultrasound results and they were "clear" when I asked if the doctor wanted to see me she said, “No”. I assumed we'd just wait and see if the pain returned. It did (x3) and I called to find out what to do next. I was afraid she would tell me to go to a specialist. She did.

I've decided to wait until after the birthday party, Thanksgiving and surgery to do something about it. It was totally one of those I know it's coming, but I jumped anyway moments (not that my life's a horror movie). I'm not in the mood to think too deeply about it today.

I've been reading/listening to books on couponing from the library. I also got a second pantry (on sale with a gift card, of course) and I upgraded my coupon binder to this (isn't it pretty):

This week I scored some adorable Dora and SpongeBob wrapping paper for free. I'm getting really excited for Christmas. I have abandoned Toys-R-Us forever because they refused to honor the wording on my coupon and were rude about it. Technically, it was a last straw situation after 3 or 4 attempts to obtain toys they no longer/never carried (that I found elsewhere cheaper anyway). Then when I described the incident to customer service they emailed me a copy-and-paste-d section of their website FAQ's without ever specially mentioning my issue (let alone answering my question or apologizing). So, screw them! Target price matches anyway.

I've been scoring deals left and right (and keeping my mind off surgery and such). I'm very happy about the way things are going and aside from Toys-R-Us being dumb and I've only had one other incident. I ordered a bunch of great Christmas gifts from a website having an amazing sale. I even got a confirmation email. I strutted around all proud that most of my Christmas shopping was done, for about a week. Then I tried to check my order status and found out it didn't exist anymore. I followed up twice before I got someone willing to re-do the order with sale pricing. I was told that only one item was sold out. Again, I was relieved and proud of myself that I had navigated the whole mess and gotten most of what I needed. Except, they cancelled my order again a few days later. I give up I will have to find other gifts for those 6 people...sigh. At least my kids are done.

I've got everything I needed for the birthday party and Thanksgiving using sales and coupons though. Now how do I use coupons for a live Christmas tree? Another milestone this week was sending out my first two rebates, woo hoo! Three if you count my two free Coke-a-Cola Polar Bear Bowls from Dollar General.

Medical Shenanigans

It's a terribly long (probably boring) story, but let's just say I've had enough of doctors for two lifetimes. So, I did what any mature adult would do after years of complying with medical advice...I stopped. I just quit showing up/making/telling anyone I needed appointments for anything. For months I pretended to be one of those "normal people" I've heard about. It was good while it lasted, but as anyone might have predicted it bit me in the ass. So, tomorrow: Hi, Ho Hi, Ho Hi, Ho it's back to the doctor I go.

First up New Ortho and the one year follow-up to my surgical hip dislocation. It was a major procedure to give me a normal socket and delay what I'm told will be inevitable hip replacement (future's so bright I gotta wear shades, my friends). I know what will happen. I could write the script word for word.

Looks good. Any problems?
It's still popping all the time.
Yeah, your IT band over the screw head. Better take them out.

I'm just too skinny for all this hardware. Too bony to be bionic. Another notch in the surgical...bed rail? Minor, sure. Necessary? Probably. Face the prospect in a mature adult manner? Pass. I'll cry and eat chocolate, thanks.

Speaking of, that brings me to my other issue. Is it another mass? More cancerous cells? An incubating alien life form? According to the OBGYN there's no indication of a mass. That's something. The pain went on for 6 months before I was scared enough to go back in. My 10 on the famous frowny-face-pain-scale is higher than most trust me. It was like dying last time it the pain happened. This issue is like having another child, it likes to wait until the middle of the night to cause me stress, fear and pain. Seriously, I can tell when I'm scaring Mike and I scared him.

The girlie doc says it's probably nothing going back on the pill won't fix. Grumble..grumble...stupid pill. The point of having your tubes tied is that you NEVER have to take the pill again. She thinks it's a run of the mill cyst and stopping up the plumbing will fix me right up. Hmmm...I just don't buy it. It's not impossible. Still one sided excruciating pain for 6 months? She scheduled me an ultrasound. That'll be Wednesday. Back to back fun, that's how I roll.

Sometimes, I think I got a used model. I'm only 30yrs old, but my parts seem much older. The ortho stuff is one thing. Bones are easy to see, touch or screw back together (I know that last one from experience). This other stuff is much trickier. Fingers crossed and kids Halloween candy raided!

Tuesday is Test Day

These are the things that came out of my back on 5/3/12. Well, not these, but this is what they looked like. I told anyone who would listen that I wanted them. In my childhood if hardware came out they washed it with Betadine tossed it in a specimen cup and let you take it.

In fact that seems to have been the policy until very recently. When I had the surgery I was informed that it was not procedure to send anything that is removed from a human body to pathology. Even if it's not biological matter. STUPPPPPPID. So, I was informed that I had to come back and pick them up from pathology within 30 days. So, I went back today unaware that it was day 31 and they had thrown it away Monday. I had told Riley all the way down there we're going to get Mommy's treasure. When the door shut she turned to me and asked, "Did they throw away your treasure, Momma?". "Yes, baby they sure did." "That's mean." "Yes, it is." "Don't worry I'll find you some new treasure." "Thanks, sweetie."

I had an MRI at Old Ortho's that showed a fracture so he sent me for lab work and some scans. I went and got radioactive isotope shot into me, had a CT scan, got blood drawn, not pick up my hardware and then do the bone scan. I had an exhausted screaming toddler, two discs full of images and another day before (hopefully) answers in the end.

What the?!?

In my head I'm her. Freshly showered, hair brushed, make up on, cute dress, freshly pressed apron, clean kitchen and dinner on the stove. In reality? I'm less than put together and I've been unable to literally lift a finger towards cleaning the kitchen (or more accurately an arm). So, are there any House fans out there?

• 30 year old female (with Cerebral Palsy)
• Full spinal fusion 2yrs ago
• Hardware removal on 5/3/12 from my upper back.
• Wheelchair tipped over 5/13 and my upper back hit the front step. An X-ray was taken the following day, no injury.
• 5/21 severe pain starts.
• No fever, no redness, the skin is not hot to the touch.
• No injury recent to the pain.
• Some swelling.
• Taken Advil, used ice and heat.
• Vitals and blood work have not been taken.
• MRI taken 5/29 indicates a FRACTURE on T4
• More tests have been scheduled to confirm fracture and rule out bone infection.
• Pain continues to be debilitating.

Catch that? A spine fracture. How bad ass am I taking care of two kids with a spine fracture for two weeks with only Advil. I thought caring for and breastfeeding an infant after spinal surgery was hard...Well it was. This is equally difficult because I can move around, but using my arms is excruciating. So, I'm well enough to be up and around, but not functional. I have two kids and a puppy who depend on me.

Another weekend to live through before CT and bone scan on Tuesday. I'm pretty sure I glow in the dark at this point. Freaking ouch. Typing is becoming bothersome as well. I'm hoping this will all be over shortly. I have a life to get on with, this is nuts.

Staple Removing

When I had the spinal fusion they had to remove 113 staples. Today there would be notably less to come out. I was having a full on anxiety attack last night. Back to Old Ortho's hell hole of an office. My mom came with to hang on to Miss Riley. My appointment was at 9:30am. We pulled in at 9:15am we were signed in and seated shortly after. We sat down and read Riley's books for a while. A LONG while. 45min later not one person had been called back. It was the same old crap. Jerks. In just under an hour of waiting I FINALLY got called. I remember feeling faint from pain after being confided to one of those awful chairs in the waiting room for over an hour after back surgery.

They made me get an X-ray. An x-ray? They removed hardware. What were they checking? The empty space where the metal had been? It wasn't part of the bone's integrity just an extra bit from 2yrs ago. Sigh. Then she came in and said "how long since your surgery?" Geez people, read a chart. Then she asked if anyone took an X-ray. Do you even work here? Geez. She said everything was fine.

Then a gentleman came in and popped up the 22 staples like he does this in his sleep. Only 2 hurt. Then we were making our way back to the front when the Old Ortho stopped me in the hall and starts looking me over. It was eerie like he was looking for a way to squeeze more money out of my broken body. He even acknowledged he may never see me again after today. Darn right.

"

A Stitch in Time

Today was the day. The first time I'd see Dr. B since I left the hospital and get my stitches out. I was so excited because this is a big milestone in the healing process. It also means no more stupid dressing with stupid tape making stupid wrinkles in my skin that ITCH. I very much appreciate the use of stitches because they make a nicer scar and in my opinion are much easier to get out.

Riley and I in the waiting room.

Riley putting grandma's pen to good use on the exam table paper. Just like her Momma did thousands of times as a child over the course of 15yrs worth of orthopedic surgeries. Ah, memories.

Laying on the exam table, insisting Grandma trace her. Then she sat up and pointed at the outline and said "There's Riley!!" It was adorable. We made a family of hand turkies as well. She was so bubbly today greeting everyone and wishing them all Happy Thanksgiving. Until Dr. B came in. He was very sweet and he spoke directly to her like a person (which Old Ortho never did). She clammed up, pouted and shook her head in response. It was strange. He didn't do anything scary. He reported I was healing well. It was amazing to see my hip in the socket correctly on the X-ray.

When Dr. B left Riley said "That was (s)carey." I was taken aback. I asked if Dr. B was scary and she said "it was terrible." with teary eyes. I hugged her and assured her he was gone. When the nurse came in to pull the stitches Riley watched the whole thing without batting an eyelash and spoke very sweetly to her.

Even stranger when we passed the Dr in the hall she kindly wished him a happy holiday. I can't even guess what that was about. The ladies at the front desk thought Riley was adorable and gave her a cookie. Oh, to be two...

Recovering

I was so calm and peaceful for the four hours I couldn't feel my hip yesterday. When the medicine wore off it felt like I was being crushed under an enormous weight. I don't any other way to describe it. It was overwhelming. First I cried because it was overwhelming for the pain to be gone and then I cried because it was overwhelming when it returned.

I don't know if it was horrible because of the contrast between numbness and my normal pain level or if it was horrible because there had been a giant needle in there hours before. Suffice it to say, Ouch. I'm glad I didn't do much after the test. Also with return of the pain came an enormous appetite and incredible fatigue.

I ate two dinner, chips and guacamole and lots of cookies before falling into a deep sleep. I had weird dreams about drowning, I wonder if they're related to the procedure. It'll be Tuesday before I see my new ortho and found out the plan. At least we know the problems is with my bones. We'll see...

Medical Adventures

Today I went for a test on my hip. The doctor wanted me to go lay under an X-ray machine and have numbing stuff shot directly into my joint. I had to get admitted and wear a hospital bracelet and everything. It wasn't super early, 9am to get lab work done first.

Have I mentioned how much I don't like needles? Ugh. Lab work took all of 2min. Then it was on to radiology to wait for them to get my lab results. It took me about 15min to get the X-ray tech up to speed with my ridiculous history. I donned the ever stylish gown and laid on the table waiting for the doctor to arrive.

Everyone was pleasant enough, but there were so many needles! Numbing my hip x3. A shot of contrast into the joint so they could see where they were going. A huge scary shot of numbing stuff into the actual joint. After which he moved my leg all around and asked me what my pain was on a scale of 1-10. There wasn't any inside my hip just soreness on the outside where he had been pressing on it. Weird.

Next I got up to walk to the bathroom and he asked again. Still none, super freaking weird. He warned me I'd have weakness because of the numbing stuff, but I couldn't discern anything other than how weird it felt not to hurt.

That's it. Test done. It'll wear off in 4ish hours and I'll follow up with the doctor Tuesday. Now to "take it easy" for a bit.

Looking Forward, While Limping

Today is Friday. A glance at my calender tells me it's back to the New Ortho (NO) on Tuesday. I spent a large part of my day driving around picking up MRI and CT scan films in preparation for this appointment. There was a time I would have naively believed that until they instructed me to handle something the doctor's office would handle it. Now, I've been around the block a few times. I followed up will all parties and have possession of all pertinent films.

In the midst of all the phone calls about tests and films, etc there was a drama unfolding. I am only on one daily prescription, an anti-inflammatory that won't shred my kidneys. It's basically super-Advil. It works best when it builds up in my system. Now, Old Ortho (OO) requires EVERY refill to have doctor authorization. ALL of them even non-narcotics. It's a real pain for someone taking a prescription anti-inflammatory daily. I mean give me a break, it shouldn't be such a big deal. So, I call the pharmacy every 30ish days and they call the OO and so it goes...

This time I called the pharmacy and they called OO, just as they always have. The difference being that shortly afterward the OO's office called me. Apparently, they got sick of approving me every 30days and finally called in 90days worth last time. This was news to me as I was only given 30. Now I was wondering if some kind of fraud had been committed charging my insurance for 90days worth and giving me 30 thus screwing me.

Ok, fraud is a lot less likely than miscommunication given OO's office staff's history. I was informed later by OO that it was "taken care of." Silly me, I even believed it. Now, the pharmacy called to inform me that they needed insurance authorization. I waited a day and then called them to clarify. Apparently, even though the pharmacist and I agreed my last refill was 7/29 and it's a 30day supply the insurance decided it was too soon to fill it until 9/17! Now, I'm no math whiz, but I'm fairly certain 7/29 plus 30days is closer to 8/29 not 9/16! They added two weeks because they could.

Now I have been without too long and I am miserable with pain. It will take a few days once I have it again to get back to my usual level of pain. The pain level I'm better able to ignore. Just prey, my friends, that Tuesday answers some questions, provides a ray of hope and officially begins my severing ties with OO for good.

Dressing for the Occasion

I wish I was an expert on dressing for cocktail parties or interviews, but I'm best at choosing attire for medical appointments. Doctor visits, diagnostic tests, physical therapy, etc I'm on it. For example if you're meeting a doctor for the first time you want to look nice from the neck up (esp if people think you're several years younger than you really are). From the neck down you want clothes that allow him to observe your movement and examine you without having to strip and put on a gown big enough for a refugee family to live in.

Generally, no metal is a good plan. Ortho's often take X-rays in their office. Also, it's just more comfortable to lay on a table without bra hooks digging into your back, etc. If you're comfy in your clothes you'll be more receptive to stressful information. I know I am. Also, wear your walking shoes.

That's all doctors where donning the gown is avoidable. When you can't get out of it like at the Gyno there are other things to think about. Easiest clothes to get in and out of and slip on shoes. I've starting wearing a comfy dress and then if you only have to disrobe waist down you're still covered. You stay warmer and you don't have to wait with the paper sheet across your lap.

When going for a test/lab work I still say go comfortable, metal free and wear your walking shoes. Don't bother with hair and make-up it's pointless, trust me. Also, consider what is absolutely necessary to bring (id, insurance card, keys, etc) and pick pants with pockets. It's so awkward juggling a purse, finding a place to set it down and so on. Just bring the essentials. I do say pants here because it's always freezing.

I don't know if anyone else deals with these things enough to care, but it occurred to me that after nearly 30yrs I have a pretty good grip on it. Too bad "dressing for an MRI" isn't appropriate for the skills section of the resume.

Ortho Options

No you didn't take a time machine back to this time last year it seems the cycle has begun again. A few things have changed though:

• I no longer have a breastfeeding infant
• I have better insurance
• The spinal fusion is behind me
• There's more than one Ortho on the case
• I have one hell of a motivation to do this and recover in the next 201 days

So, that's the bright side. See, I led with the positive. Is it better to have a two year old at home during all this? Sure she's more independent, but she's also completely aware of what's going on. I can safely say the spinal fusion was (bear in mind I'm about to hit 20 surgeries) the worst and it is behind me (sort of). I'm not fully healed, but nothing that comes after could be anywhere near as bad. It's not possible. Now having more than one Ortho on the case has to do with having better insurance.

For those of you who joined the blog later here's the ordeal of my Ortho in a nutshell: He was the only guy for 3 counties who would see me. He is not a people person, his office staff is not the most competent and he's changed the procedure (ex: hip replacement to spinal fusion) literally the day before. You get the picture. Now, he's sent me for a second opinion because he doesn't know what to do now. He's worried about doing a total hip replacement on a 29yr old he wants me to get another opinion. In fact he insists I get one before he can do anything else.

I went to a place that wouldn't see me on my old insurance. I sat in their waiting room painted a cheerful color in their comfy chairs and thought "the other place is such a sh*thole." I watched the front office staff move like a well oiled machine checking people in and out. I watched people move through the office, it reminded me of the star belly machine from the Sneetches. Was this place just better funded? Did it just attract a higher caliber employee? The patients were very similar to my Ortho's office except there were more non-eldery folks. I wasn't even the youngest one there. Although, I haven't a clue what that indicates.

The new Ortho's nurse took me back and really listened to me as I described my hip saga. She smiled at the mention of a toddler at home and sympathized when I told her I needed to be able to walk around at my wedding. The new Ortho was handsome and composed. He was unabashedly astounded by my "interesting hip." He looked at me like I was a puzzle to solve (in a good way). He conducted a more through exam the old Ortho ever did and showed me my X-rays which old Ortho never does.

The bottom line, I'm in bad shape. The pain is probably caused by the socket bones grinding together. He is sure the answer is surgical, but thinks they can work with my own biology to relieve the pain as opposed to going a full hip replacement. He ordered a 3-D CT so we can get a 360 of the socket and asked me to bring the film from my last MRI since they only sent the report. At which point he can make a surgical recommendation.

Phew? Sigh? Just pray, that everything happens faster than last year. All the test results are timely and decisions are well founded. Above all that I can have a successful procedure and be fully healed in 6mos! I hate that my body is crumbling before the age of 30. I never got to count on my body and now it's betraying me at every turn.

NO (new Ortho) is optimistic and confident. OO (old Ortho) is who he is. I'm dreading wrangling the films from his office tomorrow. I wonder what the ethics are on getting a second opinion and then just switching physicians. It's probably frowned upon...

When to Say When

I have decided no more biopsies. All they have wrought is false hope and more biopsies. It's been years. I have run the gambit of procedures and I have had enough biopsies. Nothing seems to change I sit tittering on the edge of disaster for years. They can monitor the situation through other less invasive ways.

Not to be morbid but if it does turn into full blown cancer at this point that's not up to me. Mysterious ways. I've been a compliant patient for 6yrs. I'm not ignoring medical advice otherwise. I just don't see any benefit to continuing them.

It's like an alien abduction movie. Going in there with bright lights, strange smells and the cold metal. Having pieces of you torn out. The pain and the fear. After all of that you wait. The news is always the same and it leads to more biopsies and more waiting.

No, thank you. I'm good. What ever will be, will be.