One Leg at a Time

You've all heard the expression, but in my case it is not to be taken literally. As a matter of fact there have been long stretches recently when putting on pants was quite impossible.

Starting in toddlerhood I have always been more of a jeans and t-shirt girl than a dress girl. They just always seemed more practical and comfortable. They were never, however, easier to get on. I have always had terrible balance, thank you Cerebral Palsy, I've never put on my jeans by hopping from foot to foot like they do in the movies. In fact I have never put on a pair of pants from a standing position without assistance in my life.

I always start sitting thanks to my superb balance, then there is the "ankle issue". Even before the ankle fusion surgeries I had in elementary school I had pretty limited range of motion. Think about it for a minute, put on your jeans without flexing your ankle. Pretty tricky, isn't it. I used to put my foot in and then grab the leg of the jeans and pull on alternating sides until I had worked my foot through the hole in the bottom. Viola!

Fast forward to last May when I had major back surgery. Not only did this event severely alter my relationship with gravity, but it also rendered me motionless for weeks on end. So, all the tight spots got tighter, hello hips. Here I was with no option to bend my now perfectly straight spine, only mildly flexible ankles and ever tightening hips.

At first I simply had to rely on others, ugh. It's not like I was going a lot of places back then so stylishness wasn't a priority. After a few months went by I figured out that I could get my left foot into the pants and use the same pulling method to get it all the way through. After that I'd use a grabber to pull the other side wide and hold it so I could get my right leg in.

There have been a couple of sticky pants/shoes moments in doctor's offices because I can't exactly fit a grabber in my pocket. These days as I near the halfway point to a "full recovery" from my spinal fusion it's slightly easier and I've adapted a bit more. I simply drop my jeans on the floor in front of me. I kick them gently with my right foot until I've got a start. Then I lean sideways bracing myself on whatever wall/sink/dresser I'm sitting next to and grab the waist. Once I've pulled them up halfway I raise my left leg, with the slightly more flexible hip, and put it in. at which point I can usually pull myself to standing and button them up.

I suppose it's backwards from most people's jeans experience. I'm pretty sure for most people getting their legs in is the easier part and pulling them up and fastening them is where it gets tricky. So, now you know why getting dressed is such an undertaking. On a good day it takes a few tries when I'm really tired it can be upwards of 10mins. There you have it, that's why putting on pants leaves me panting (for now).