When Kids Go MIA

Every parent has had one of those moments when their child terrifies them beyond the ability to take breath. When the whole world becomes an irrelevant haze around you and your stomach turns inside out. Human beings have the ability to frighten one another in general, but there isn't even a word for what children do to their parents.

A few months ago we loaded the whole family in the car and headed down to the splash pad. Normally, Riley and I go with our mommy group friends on weekday afternoons. This time it was a Saturday. Even though Riley and I were meeting a mommy group friend I felt I'd need Mike as backup since I was bringing Isaac too. It was hot and Mike was cranky about being roped into going along so the mood in the car was muted. Until we pulled up.

Isaac had never been to this park before. He was screaming with excitement at the splash pad and playground before him. Mike and I surveyed the huge crowds and felt less than excited. I'd always gone on quiet weekday afternoons before and I felt stupid for not considering how crowded it would be. Mike grumbled as he unhooked the baby. I was talking to Isaac as I climbed out of the passenger seat. By the time the baby was out of the car and I was upright Isaac was gone. I assumed he was just standing on the other side of the car at first. As Mike walked in a circle around the car and calling his name was ineffective the panic grew. The park wasn't in the best area and it was so crowded. I went numb with fear.

I have no idea how long we stood by my car searching the crowded playground and sputtered sentence fragments at each other: "He was wearing..." "I was just talking to.." "Where could he..." After what felt like eternity I spotted him running across a piece of playground equipment. By the time I pointed him out Mike was already at a full run towards the playground. I don't think I breathed until he buckled his seatbelt. My stomach was full of hot sandspurs and my hands were shaking. I was grateful not to have to drive home. Which is where we went immediately after that.

It was only a matter of time before Riley gave me the same kind of heart failure. Last night Mike came to bed after I was asleep and turned on Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I woke up to that horrible scene where the little kid goes through the doggie door and gets abducted by aliens. So, scary, but why does she let go? She clutches him to her chest all through the house and then she sits down on the kitchen floor and lets him go. Not a nice way to wake up.

Today the kids were playing out in our big beautiful fenced yard. Mike had run to Home Depot. He's adding the slide to the swing set this weekend. Isaac was hogging the big kid swing at first, but he decided to give Riley a turn and push her it was super sweet. I ran in for my camera, but by the time I got back with it the moment had passed. Later they got in the box the slide came in and were laughing like hyenas. After that they drew on the box with sidewalk chalk. I helped Riley find a yellow piece and she ran back to the box while I ducked inside for a minute.

I was coming back out when Isaac came to the back door. It had been 30ish seconds (long enough to pee) and I'd been watching through the window from the back bathroom. He wanted to come in so I told him to go get his sister. Very matter-of-factly he told me "I don't know where she is." He had smile on his face so I told him to stop teasing and get his sister. I adjusted my shoe and followed him out. He walked to the middle of the yard looked around and then turned to me and shrugged. Now, I started to worry.

The Earth rotated slower as I instructed him to double check the slide box. I checked the latch on the gate and both shed were locked. I called her name. Isaac thought this was amusing. I half expected her to be behind me giggling, but she was nowhere. I snapped at Isaac, "This isn't funny!" and instructed him to keep looking. I picked up my phone to call Mike. At that moment Isaac yelled "I found her, mom." She was sitting in the bike trailer which was facing away from us. I suspect she climbed in and couldn't figure out how to climb out. The neighbor was mowing so she made have answered my calls, but I wasn't able to hear her tiny voice.

I helped her out, hugged her and pressed send on my phone. Mike was a block away. When he got back Isaac breathlessly recounted the tale of the missing Riley. I gave Riley another hug and tagged Mike in for a round. I dry heaved in the bathroom before crying in the shower. Now they've each had a turn and I'm done being terrified in that way, right? Oh, I hope so.