Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Seventh Circle of Hell

Aka the car circle...If only I could reclaim the hours of my life sucked into that vortex of misery. When Isaac started kindergarten I thought the spectacle was kind of cute. The way parents would park their cars to avoid the car circle and scramble up to the gate and wait. When the first kids begun trickling out parents would stand on tip toe to get a glimpse. With ninja like speed they would grab their child's hand and flee to their waiting cars. The whole thing reminded me of baggage claim at the airport.

We, too, spent the first half of that year parking the car and walking to avoid the car circle. Not long after Christmas break I was pregnant and working nights, so Mike always picked Isaac up. By spring break I was on bed rest. It wasn't until Riley was born in the fall and Mike got his new job that I was back on pick up duty again only this time I had a newborn so there was no avoiding the car circle.

In the early days of Mike's new job he worked at the office Monday-Friday. I often refer to this as the "golden period" of being a stay-at-mom because Mike's absence and my physical state still allowed me autonomy and independence in domestic matters. It was just me and my brand new baby and all those new mommy infatuation chemicals, until pick up time. We would get ready and head over to the school 10-15min before dismissal. If I got lucky, which was rare, Riley would sleep through the whole ordeal. Most days she would sleep for all but the last 5mins and then wail all the way up to claim her brother and the whole ride home. On the worst days she'd wail through the whole thing.

At the end of kindergarten there had been a parent survey sent home in which 98% of the parents who filled it out listed car circle as the biggest problem we had with the school (Mike and I among them). This resulted in two car circles with the students divided in half by grade level. One was in the front of the school where the original had been and one was on the side which had previously been buses only. It did help some, in the way that an Advil might "help" after a root canal.

The problem really is the parents. No one wants to pull all the way up. I swear the people in front of me today were waiting for engraved invitations to move. Is it that the trauma of getting into the actual line to get your kid shocks you into a state in which you believe you are the only person in line? Are two car lengths a reasonable space to leave between cars on your planet? There are people behind you hanging out in the busy intersection and you're leaving extra space? Keep it up, one of these days the parents behind you will descend on your car like the angry mob we are and show no mercy.

These days there's no danger of having to jump in the backseat and nurse the baby, but life's not easy. I still have Riley in tow, parents are not anymore apt to follow the rules and just when you think it can't get any worse it does. I don't leave early anymore, in fact I leave the house no earlier than dismissal time. That was a parking garage revelation. Why does everyone clamor to be on the first two floors of the parking garage? A space close to the elevator on any floor gets you there just as quickly. So, why would I wait in my car burning gas when I can let things die down from home and ultimately we get home at the same time anyway.

The school year's winding down and today I was smiling to myself that we were leaving this car circle behind us forever. Isaac's new school is less than two blocks from our house. You can see it from the corner. So, to the idiots who went the wrong way on the one way, the Lexus and VW who refused to ever pull up a reasonable distance, the guy who parked and got out at the front of the freaking line and the mom waiting at the wrong number (that's only today) I will not miss you. I only hope your children have better capacity to follow simple directions! I mean geez, there's less than two weeks of school left, nobody's new here.

I will conduct myself as I always have by following the rules and showing common sense and consideration, but once the last pick up is made on the last day car circle can kiss my butt!

1 comment:

  1. Since I dont do it on a regular basis, I can truly say I like car circle. Im not in a hurry, I take a magazine, and move a little read a little. But I dont have a todler in tow either. It seems to be the same parents over and over, breaking the rules. Its important to show your children how to be responsible, and follow the rules. That was a problem in our home because I was married to someone who didnt believe in following the rules. Be a good role model, let your kids see you following the rules.

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