Good in the World

It's there, but you have to put it out there to attract it. I've learned the hard way though that helping someone when it harms you isn't good for anyone. Today a huge opportunity to give came up (love more than money). I wanted to be the hero, but it wasn't the right time for me. God worked his mysterious ways and I knew exactly who was in the right place for the kind of help needed.

Everything worked out and a lot of people are sleeping easier tonight (I'm one of them). Whatever happens now, my faith in humanity which trends towards optimistic is safe and sound. Thank God for good people and amazing timing. Someday, it'll be my turn not just to be a middle man of kindness, but to step up. It'll be a good day. I hope the kindness keeps moving for a while tonight. I hope others are inspired to give and care too.

People with open hearts and minds tend to attract the same. I have amazing friends.

So Much Love To Give

If Mike and I were wealthy or even in less debt and I were physically up to it I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have stopped at 2 kids. I think we would have had a handful more. Most of my time the rational part of my brain keeps that feeling at bay assuring me 2 is the perfect number. However, I feel that way every time Mike adds another feature to the playground out back. I feel that way every time I have a group of kids running and playing through my house for an event. I feel that way every time one of my friends announces they're pregnant. I feel that way every time Mike builds something out of Legos with Isaac or dances with Riley.

Today my Mom was babysitting her neighbors' 4mo old and she ended up spending the day with us. I felt that way today. Where does the time go? Miss Loo was so tiny in my arms. I had forgotten what a 4mo old felt like nestled in your arms. It was my pleasure to hold her most of the time she was here today. I had started to talk myself down mainly by remembering how much work potty training is when Mike came home.

I passed her to him with instructions to give her a bounce to help her tummy. He sang and bounced and spoke to her so sweetly it was heartwarming to see. She's a very sweet girl and Mike never talks to children like they are less than people. I've always loved that about him. It was sad to say goodbye, but a relief too. We've always said someday when ours have left the nest we'd adopt. It's a distant future kind of dream. I hope we're older and wiser and much more financially stable then.

Get Out of my Space

Can you tell what kind of day I had? Generally, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but some people really flaunt their inconsiderateness. I've only been out of the house a handful of times since I can't drive. Today Mike was off (he worked Friday) and the kids were away so we ran a few errands.

I live in a state heavily populated by the elderly so it's not uncommon to have trouble getting a close space. I've been glared or even yelled at for parking in a disabled space because at first glance they only see a young mom. I'm glad they care whether the privilege is being abused, but let's go over this again: Everyone listening?
Not all handicapped people are old.
Some of us have nice cars.
Some of us have families.
We do not live in parking lots, but we sure do use them!
I digress, I understand that it's hard to tell when a disabled space is being abused in some cases, but there doesn't seem to be anyone checking for this abuse. Mike read me an article about how many people admit to using a relative or spous's permit. There were also people granted temporary tags that renewed them. Why was it so easy for the paper to get this information, but no law enforcement agency seems to be able to do it?

We circled the parking lot for about 5mins before we pulled into an open space, the farthest row from the curb. I unfolded my walker and scooted my non-weight bearing butt out of the car. As I hopped past the full disabled spaces I noticed at least 3 vehicles with no disabled tags of any kind. Give me a break. One sure footed gentlemen clammered into a large van. Mike sneered and spat "he doesn't look disabled." Wait a minute, it might be on the license plate. It was.

What does that prove? Just that the registered owner of the car is permanently disabled. Is that him? No idea. Could he have been suffering from a heart defect or other less visible affliction making it difficult for him to march 100ft to that door? Maybe. I on the other hand am 3wks post op and all the hopping is making my leg cramp. Once I did get to the building there were people smoking outside so I was holding my breath as I hopped, not easy. When my bussiness was complete it was a long hop back to the curb and by the time I got there tears were welling up in my eyes. Mike pulled the car around for me.

What Mike and I think would help would be some sort of priority rating. Top level within 3 weeks of major surgery, severe physical limitations, severe heart issues, etc. Next Level less severe versions of all of these. So on down the line they could be color coded and arranged with degrees of closeness. For people whose conditions would be improved from walking a few feet put them a few more spaces down.

What about people using grandma's tag? Report them! If it's obivous (in my state your driver's license number is printed on the permit) or there's a serious doubt don't let them get away with it. Please don't put yourself in danger. Get their plates to the authorities or tell someone who works in the building the parking lot is for and let them tow them. People have been clearly warned about being fined or towed when they park there so don't feel bad. You're saving someone like me an afternoon in bed recovering from an unnecessary over exertion instead of playing with her kids (or being any part of their day).

Conversations With Christmas Cute

Riley:(Sees an inflatable snowman out the car window) Hi! (S)nowman. (waving).
Mommy:(laughing)That's nice Riley
Riley: (as we're pulling into the driveway, still waving) Hi, hi (s)nowman. (her voice lowers slightly) Hi, Riley!
Mommy: (laughing harder)
Riley: Did you hear the (s)nowman say hi?
Mommy: Yes, what a friendly snowman.

Riley was being very two the other day. Finally I made her look at me and asked her to be a good listener.
Mommy: Riley, be a good girl. You know what? Santa only brings toys to the good girls who listen to their mommies. You want Santa to bring you toys, don't you?
Riley: Gonna be good, yeah. Santa bring toys, yeah.
Sometime later
Mommy: Riley that's not nice! Mommy doesn't like that. Santa doesn't like that. What does Santa like?
Riley: Reindeer!
Although she missed my point she wasn't wrong.

Experiment Failed

I saw a preview for Arthur Christmas in November and decided Isaac and I would be equally thrilled to see it. I knew for sure he and I had to attend Thanksgiving weekend. What I was unsure of was whether I'd be driving by then and if Riley would be up to it. I proposed the outing to Mike fully expecting him to pass. I had my mom lined up as back up and everything, but he thought a family trip to the movies sounded good.

I figured it couldn't be that bad with two of us. Surely, Riley would be engaged by a 3D movie about Santa for at least half the film. Mike could spend the other half walking her around the lobby since he's not such an animated movie enthusiast. No big deal. Turns out both of my suppositions were wrong I couldn't drive and Riley could not handle it.

She lost it at the end of the 30min of previews. I was a little stressed at that point too. Good lord, Disney these are kids give them a break! She watched about 20ish minutes of the movie in total (it's a 2ish hour movie). Mike ended up taking her next door to Target for more Christmas lights. When the movie ended Isaac and I had been thoroughly entertained. I had a bit of trouble getting up the incline and out of the theater after all that sitting, but the nice man at the end of the row lent a hand (probably because I was blocking traffic).

We left having paid $48 for Isaac and I to watch a movie while Mike and Riley walked. Sigh. I think Miss Roo needs to grow up for another year or so before we try that again. Live and learn. She wasn't bad at all. She's just so 2. She got restless. Despite missing the movie she assured me all the way home she "had a gooood day!".

It's Beginning...

We're off and excited!

We inspected the options...

Loaded it up

Brought it home

And after rearranging some furniture it was in the house.

Tree's up and decorating the house/yard's begun!

Thanksgiving

I am thankful that the kids played nicely until 9am and let me stay in bed. I am thankful they can enjoy the parade while Mike cooks our contribution to a big family Thanksgiving that we are not hosting. Yay!

I am thankful that I am recovered enough from this surgery to enjoy a Thanksgiving meal. I am thankful that my children are old enough that I can get dolled up without having to stop and breast feed or change diapers. I am thankful for the family pictures we only get over the holiday season. I am thankful for Etsy and Riley's amazing Miss Gobbles barrette.

I am thankful for Mike's job where he is appreciated. I am thankful that I am healthy (outside of Orthopedic issues), knock on wood. I am thankful for two intelligent, funny, healthy children.

I am thankful to have a wonderful co-parent helping me raise them. I am thankful for extended family that lives nearby and for sincere compliments. I am thankful it's 70 degrees on Thanksgiving in Florida. I am thankful that I'm surrounded by good cooks. I am thankful for pie!!

Happy Thanksgiving

Hand Turkeys

So, I really wanted to do a Thanksgiving art project with Riley, but I needed it to be low key as I'm still recovering. The answer of course was hand turkeys. We did ours a little differently. Instead of tracing her hand we made brown hand prints with paint. Now, if you have time and paint it's much cuter to do the palm brown and paint the fingers different colors (for the feathers). I did her whole hand brown and used two hand prints per sheet of construction paper. We used her left hand so they are playing follow the leader, but you can use each hand and have them chatting if you like. Also if you let your toddler choose pieces of construction paper you might want to pull black out of the options it doesn't read well.

As you can see we just drew on the hand prints with markers. I had a hard time with the googly eyes on the ghost footprints and less patience this time. By all means go nuts add feathers, googly eyes and glitter.

Happy Thanksgiving!

A Stitch in Time

Today was the day. The first time I'd see Dr. B since I left the hospital and get my stitches out. I was so excited because this is a big milestone in the healing process. It also means no more stupid dressing with stupid tape making stupid wrinkles in my skin that ITCH. I very much appreciate the use of stitches because they make a nicer scar and in my opinion are much easier to get out.

Riley and I in the waiting room.

Riley putting grandma's pen to good use on the exam table paper. Just like her Momma did thousands of times as a child over the course of 15yrs worth of orthopedic surgeries. Ah, memories.

Laying on the exam table, insisting Grandma trace her. Then she sat up and pointed at the outline and said "There's Riley!!" It was adorable. We made a family of hand turkies as well. She was so bubbly today greeting everyone and wishing them all Happy Thanksgiving. Until Dr. B came in. He was very sweet and he spoke directly to her like a person (which Old Ortho never did). She clammed up, pouted and shook her head in response. It was strange. He didn't do anything scary. He reported I was healing well. It was amazing to see my hip in the socket correctly on the X-ray.

When Dr. B left Riley said "That was (s)carey." I was taken aback. I asked if Dr. B was scary and she said "it was terrible." with teary eyes. I hugged her and assured her he was gone. When the nurse came in to pull the stitches Riley watched the whole thing without batting an eyelash and spoke very sweetly to her.

Even stranger when we passed the Dr in the hall she kindly wished him a happy holiday. I can't even guess what that was about. The ladies at the front desk thought Riley was adorable and gave her a cookie. Oh, to be two...

I'm An Award Winner!

Welcome to my award winning blog! The Liebster Blog Award is given to bloggers who have less than 200 followers, all in the spirit of fostering new connections. Leibster is German & means ‘dearest’ or ‘beloved’ but it can also mean ‘favorite’

I was quite shocked to find this comment waiting for me today! A fellow blogger and mom: Debi, from the Shit My Six Year Old Says nominated me for this award. Which is lovely, but a touch frustrating since she'd be the first I'd nominate. Beat me to it. She has a lovely, intelligent, unique little boy and documents some of his singular perspective on life. I read often because I love knowing I'm not alone in parenting such a little boy. More than that I read her blog to laugh.

Now it's my turn to do some nominating. Which is no easy task since I've found quite a few wonderful blogs along the way. I've narrowed my favorites down to those with less than 200 followers (which was already in the rules) who have posted in the last month (just to help me narrow the field/motivate some bloggers to post). Here goes:

1. I have to start with Disabled Mama Kati is also a disabled mom, obviously. She has a lovely name and gave birth to her daughter a few months before I had mine. She writes with intelligence and humor about the day to day of motherhood, crafts/sewing, cooking and all manner of things. She lost her leg to childhood cancer and not unlike another Kati(e) I know she is a force of nature. It's always a good read.
2. There is also Misty at Mommy's Crutch. She's also a disabled mom. She has cerebral palsy and a daughter, like me. What I love the most about her blog is the unabashed honesty. I strive to be open and honest, but I never feel as eloquent as Misty in doing so. Her posts aren't as regular as mine, but they are always worth the wait.
3. Surprisingly enough I'll follow my disabled mom favorites with a running blog. Sandy writes Not Fast But Not Last. It is absolutely true that I can not at all relate to running, but determination and passion are very familiar to me. Competing with oneself is best kind, in my opinion. I've never missed a post.
4. I'm not only a disabled mom who had hip surgery two weeks ago I'm also planning my wedding. I've found some remarkable wedding blogs in my incessant research. Unfortunately, a few are way more popular than this award allows or haven't published in a few months. I have been following and enjoying Kelly at The Whimsical Wifey. Now the fact that I read her blog is significant given my distaste for term Wifey. Aside from that I can't find a flaw. Kelly will be married next fall. She's very much a crafter and she just learned to sew which inspires me to bite the bullet and finally learn too.

Conversing With Cute

Riley: Want a coooookie!
Mommy: Please?
Riley: Please, have a cookie.
Mommy: Here ya go.
Riley: Ah, (T)hank you!

She sits down and eats it. The room is silent for a minute. Then she springs to her feet.
Riley: Nother cookie, pleeeease.
Mommy: I don't know how old are you?
Riley: (Without skipping a beat) Twelve.
Mommy: (trying to stop laughing long enough to disagree) No you're not. How old are you, Riley?
Riley: (long pause) Two
Mommy: That's right. You're two so you can have two cookies. (I give her the cookie)
Daddy: (laughing) I bet you wish you were twelve now!

Several days later.

Mommy: What a good helper, Thank You.
Riley: You're Welcome!
Mommy: Should we have a cookie now?
Riley: Yes. I'm two, two cookies!

This morning Riley was laying in my bed talking to me and Mike was still dozing. She kept asking me to sing Tiny Tim faster and faster. She thought it was very funny. Eventually, Mike stirred and Riley gave him some hugs.

Riley: Good Mornin'!
Daddy: Hi, Riley
Riley: (pointing to the flowers I got in the hospital)they're not (s)cary. Want to (s)mell them!
Daddy: They don't really have a smell
Riley: It's ok, they're not (s)cary. (s)mell them!
Daddy: Ok (they "smell them)
(Riley stands up to look out the window and notices some green paint spots on the the white tile window sill)
Riley: Uh-oh! Daddy (s)pilled some paint.
Daddy: Where?
Riley: On dare! (points to the window)
Daddy: Oh
Riley: It's white not green. Don't paint there.
Daddy: Ok
Riley: Green for walls. You're supposed to be sorry.
Daddy: (laughing) I'm sorry, Riley.

Ups & Downs of Parental Post-Op

I've been tired and grouchy with having to re-grow bone and all. I was thinking about how nice it would be to heal without kids around. How much more rest I'd get. How quiet the house would be. How there wouldn't be any toys to trip over while hopping on one foot with terrible balance. Wondering if I'd feel less guilty about my pain without having to worry if the kids were fed or Riley pottied before nap, etc. You get the picture.

Then I thought about how I powered through the check list to get the heck out of the hospital and back to the kids. I thought about how I haven't taken more than an extra strength Tylenol since the day after surgery. Partly because after 20 surgeries my pain tolerance is impressive, but also due to the distraction and entertainment the kids provide.

Speaking of distraction, my post-op depression lasted about 72hrs this time compared to months with the spinal fusion. I haven't lost any noticeable weight this time either despite 3 days of (gag) hospital food. I'm busy enough not to mope, but not too busy to eat.

It's so helpful to have other things to focus on besides my recovery. I've been really feeling the whole I have a break in the most major bone in the body today. I got out for an hour this morning and spent the rest of the day in bed. I napped and iced it, but I also had conversations with the kids. I listened to them laugh and play in the backyard with Mike while I read a book. It was a downer day pain wise, but not a bad day at all in general.

An Educational Day

Yesterday, Mike volunteered for the Great American Teach In. A few years ago we both did it and really enjoyed it. It's basically career day. You go and talk to a class for 30min and then you go to a different class and so on. It's always a huge deal to Isaac when one of us goes to his school for something. He's especially proud of his dad though.

Mike stayed up late drawing huge mazes in varying degrees of difficulty. The kids learned basic programming commands and then used them to navigate a chicken through the maze to sit on an egg. I thought it was a very clever lesson plan. He stayed the whole school day and spoke to 3-5th grade classes. One of the classes he spoke was Isaac's.

He said some classes understood faster than others, but overall it went very well. I am a big supporter of public education, but more than that we have to make sure the kids feel important right now. It really did just make Isaac's day. I'm so glad, too. He's getting older and soon enough he won't want his parents at school anymore. It's amazing how much growing happens between 7 and 9. I'm just overwhelmed at all the growing up around here.

Photo Thursday

Isaac's balloon giant squid from his birthday dinner with Grandpa and Ya Ya

Wednesdays Stink

I had trouble sleeping last night. Both kids were in bed late and they both tried to get up at an unreasonable hour. When laying in bed a little longer was thwarted by my tiny bladder the dark clouds really rolled in. I got from the bed to the chair, but Mike had dropped his pants in a wad directly behind my tire. It was like those wedges of wood they put in front of airplane tires, I wasn't going anywhere.

It took considerable begging on my part to get Riley to move the jeans. Normally she thinks putting clothes in the hamper is fun, but today she brought them into the bathroom and dropped them directly behind the door! So, I got to the bathroom and couldn't get the door opened wide enough to get in. I was in tears and bursting by the time I "helped" her (I can't bend or lift) move the pants.

After I had relieved myself I went to the kitchen to get Riley something. I have no words for the state of my kitchen at this point. (Shudder) I discovered when I opened the fridge I'd forgotten to put out the veggie tray for Isaac's party. Annoying. Then I had a to pull out a few empty packages from the fridge to get to anything, more annoying. Then I lost my balance standing on one foot to get something. Most annoying, but no injury.

Then I scratched my foot on the chair getting on to the couch. Come on! At which point my mom called and offered to bring us to her house. I was relieved, but I wanted to double check what time my physical therapist was coming. I reached farther than I should have for the phone and when I tried to sit my weight went on to my bad foot. I was terrified. After that I managed to pull it together and dress Riley except for shoes. When my mom got here we searched high and low for my shoes and NEVER found them.

Losing things makes me nuts. I wore them Saturday. They have to be here somewhere. I had vigorous therapy today and I'm beat. I would have just gone to sleep afterward, but Mike's work is crazy today. So I stayed awake and kept Riley out of his hair. We started hand print turkeys. I'm dying.

Tomorrow is The Great American Teach In so Mike will be at Isaac's school all day. It would be a great chance to rest if I could find someone to watch Riley. My poor mom's been here every day for a week and I want to give her a break, but there aren't a lot of folks available during the day. I'm still working on it.

Silver lining: my kitchen's getting cleaned tomorrow. Woo-hoo.

Isaac's Nine Today!

Just a few pictures of Isaac opening his presents from us:

Wait for it

Rip..

What?

Oh my..

Yippee!

Unwrapping with his eyes fixed on the 3D DS...

The game he wanted too

Life is complete

So happy

Watch Your Mouth

So, I've talked before about hissing or growling to prevent cussing when I'm in pain. I still do that which usually means I'm on the verge of tears and my kids are laughing at me. I'm usually pretty aware around the kids. I'm only human and I'm sure I've slipped here and there. For all my effort though we still had a couple lessons in how much the kids around you absorb.

I was having a rough day with Miss Roo. She was just being two and I was grouchy and tired from pushing it too hard post surgery. Generally, I hold fast to my sense of humor and distracting her distracts me too. We'd been playing and laughing in the bed. I put on a movie and she was mellowing out and then she decided that wasn't the best plan. She started kicking me in the bad hip and being aggressive. I heard myself say "stop it" in a tone that implied I was losing my calm, but she didn't. So in frustration more to myself than to her I said "I'm gonna smack you!".

I honestly said it to myself in that way adults say "I'm gonna kill you" when we're annoyed with each other. In any event, I couldn't unsay it. After a moment of silence Riley said thoughtfully "Mommy said gonna smack you." Another brief silence followed and I replied "You're right Riley I did say that. That's not a nice thing to say, is it? Hitting is not nice. Mommy didn't mean it." She thought about it and agreed "not. nice." Just a little reminder.

Not long after Isaac got sent to the office for saying "I wish I was dead." He said it in an impassioned fit of frustration. He didn't mean it, but the school was right to investigate such a horrific statement. It was one of those moments were I felt completely overwhelmed trying to decide how to handle it and I'm so relieved not to be a single parent.

Mike kept pondering where he would have heard such a thing. I pointed out that we're not just contending with what he hears at home, but what all of his friends hear at home or on tv too. The root of the idea to claim such a thing seemed irrelevant and only served to make make me feel powerless to protect my child. Beyond that I wondered how we had produced such a sheltered kid. How is it possible that not being able to draw a cheetah perfectly on the first try feels like a life or death scenario?

Clearly, I had failed somewhere. We addressed the issue as calmly and rationally as possible. We made him understand how serious those words are. We talked about the kids who do feel that way. We talked about good ways to deal with frustration. We did everything we could do to address it without giving him undo positive or negative attention for it. We still went to bed wondering if we did the right thing.

You have to be so careful to say what you mean and mean what you say around kids. Hopefully, they'll grow up and do the same.

Maddy's Baby Shower

Five days post op I squeezed my swollen hip and tired bones into my "big jeans" and went to a baby shower. Maddy is due in February to Mike's cousin's wife. Get that? I just say my cousin's baby, it's less confusing. I digress, it was a very special shower. Lara, Mike's sister, and some of Mommy-to-be's co-workers got together and threw a spectacular Harry Potter themed shower.

The food was all from the books. Butter beer, chocolate frogs and cupcakes with little owls on them among others. The presentation was stunning. I brought my camera, but didn't take a single picture. Failure. It's the fatigue I can't concentrate to the end of my own thoughts. Anyway, the tables had maroon table cloths and the signs to identify the food were written in beautiful Harry Potter font. There was a display with an owl and stacked books and wands. Even the favor bags looked like brooms.

ABC Family just happened to be doing a Harry Potter marathon that night too. We all wore white owl name tags and the pens for filling out the baby games had feathers attached to look like quills. It was really well done. I love a theme. We played the standard games not saying baby, guessing how many pieces of candy were in a bottle and baby word scramble. All the games that involved writing were glued onto black card stock which had hole punched at the top for maroon and gold ribbon.

She got the usual baby shower haul gift-wise, but her invitation requested everyone pick a children's book and write a message to Maddy inside instead of cards. It was so interesting to see the choices and a little emotional to hear the inscriptions. Maddy's one loved little girl. I gave her two owl clipies on headbands (headbands for now and the clips detach for later). I also gave her two onesies "stormpooper" in black and white and "mischief managed" in pinks. I got all of those things on Etsy: Geeklings and Craving Cuteness respectively. For our book we chose one of Riley's favorites that we got from the library recently. It's called The Witch Who Wanted To Be A Princess. It's a great story about being yourself and also Harry Potter appropriate.

It was an amazing shower. Gold star ladies. It was totally worth dragging myself out of the house newly surgeried. I'm so excited to see the Harry Potter nursery finished. I'm just excited all the way around. See you soon Miss Maddy.

The Back to The Future Shindig

Here I am! I just finished my home made flame trails. Making a "Great Scott! It's Isaac's party sign for the yard.

Here's the "clock tower" (note the clock is stuck at 10:04) and cable that the flame trails were taped to the walls beneath. The cable was later used to add a zip line to the playground in the back yard. I also had the movie playing in the living room during the party.

The kick ass cake. I bought a really ugly cake at the grocery store. I'm 4 days post op so baking is not in the cards. I just crushed Oreos to make soil and used it to cover the ugly balloons. It worked out nicely. Mike made the praying mantis tractor from Coraline out of fimo clay. He bought tiny lights for the eyes and covered them with the bubbles on the bottom of a Coke bottle painted yellow. As you can see, it came out wonderful! I also bought the candles with colored flames they were a nice touch.

The birthday boy with one of his gifts. Note he's wearing his Marty McFly vest.

It was a nice party all things considered. I was thrilled to meet some of his school friends. He got wonderful gifts. I was very impressed, a motion sensor pterodactyl, Lego interceptor ship from Star Wars, Cars 2, a drawing robot, great books and amazing gift cards. What a lucky kid.

Great Scott! It's Party Time.

Isaac woke up humming Happy Birthday. The day has arrived, although neither myself or the house seems at all ready. The show must go on. I haven't been sleeping great. It's hard to be comfortable, but I'll take that over a drug coma any day. So, I pretended to be with it as I instructed Isaac though some tasks and got Riley ready this morning. It's chilly today so it was harder to get moving than it should have been, too.

In summation, I am a superhero. Everything pressing got done and everyone got out the door. Now to delegate a few tasks to my mom, nap, get my dressing changed and maybe go to the store for party food later. I have cleaning help coming too (thank GOD!). Don't get me wrong, the house looks pretty good considering I was gone 3 days, but it's not party ready. I'm down to no cleaning ability at all (expect wiping things within arms reach) and I'm going to have parents I've never met before in my house tonight. Speaking of, I wonder if I could squeeze into "normal" pants? The swelling has been steadily decreasing, but jeans are probably still a few weeks away.

I want to make sure everything gets picked up, make sure food gets purchased, supervise decorating and be fresh and ready for company when they arrive. Is that a lot for 4 days after surgery? Well, it's my plan any way. I'm very excited for Isaac's first birthday at the new house.

I'll do my best to get pictures up tomorrow. 11/11/11, let's see about you...

Back to Business

So, life did not freeze in it's tracks while I was gone. Isaac was a well behaved little helper for exactly one evening before he started taking advantage which is really silly since he's supposed to have a field trip and a birthday party tomorrow. Oops, I think most nine year boys are often short sighted.

I had a look at the notes home from his teachers and confronted him with both his impractical timing and my hurt feelings. I hope we're back on track. I told him I won't cancel his party for behavior, but there are lots of other consequences that could make his weekend less pleasant if he doesn't shape up.

What were we thinking? A Friday evening the week of my surgery. Poor Isaac's birthday is right on the heels of Halloween and right before Thanksgiving so it never gets as much attention as the other fall birthdays.

He wants a Back to the Future Theme. Obviously, you can't just go pick those decorations up at the party store. I've been brainstorming decoration ideas. I think we've got some solid concepts at this point. He also wants a cake with "the robot mantis from Coraline" After that request he got self conscious that it wasn't in theme. I told him it's his party and there's nothing wrong with his choices.

We decided to forgo the trip to Lego Land as the present idea because he longs for a 3D DS and none of us are up for a theme park yet. I think the DS upgrade will be less expensive. Plus, Isaac's computer has not been operational since the month after we moved. Mums, the word party guests he's not getting his Mom and Dad present until Tuesday (his actual birthday).

End of (hospital) Days?!?

Today I kicked butt. I did everything required for discharge. I couldn't wait for afternoon to come and discharge papers to materialize. When 2:00 came and went I got a little stressed. It would be a bummer not to go home today, but at least I'd have it from the horse's mouth.

I'd given him the benefit of the doubt and soldiered on, until it started to approach shift change. Woah, my nurse is going to depart for the night and we know nothing?!? No. Wait a minute, I did everything I was supposed to do to go home. I want to go home. What's going on?

I promptly finished my dinner and hopped in the wheelchair. I was going to make damn sure I wasn't forgotten. I wanted to be discharged or at least hear from the doctor why I wasn't being discharged. I sat in the hallway, I wheeled the the length or the unit and I checked in at the nurse's station a few times. After two hours the charge nurse informed me Dr. B was on trauma call and it would be hours if I saw him at all tonight.

I want to go home. I have no recourse. I have to stay another night because he's busy. In the meantime my night nurse has yet to identify themselves. At the end of hospital stay when you're at a higher level of independence everyone begins to ignore you. Really stoked I'm still here for this Dr. B, thanks a bunch. Huge waste of everyone's time. If no one's taking care of me why am I here?

Spoke to soon

I was a very squeaky wheel and sure enough Dr. B appeared at 9pm (minutes after the original post was published). He checked my incision and asked me a few questions. Are you sure you're ready to go home? Are you sure you want to be discharged now instead of in the morning? I also clarified that the blood thinner injections were just during my hospital stay I'll be taking Aspirin twice a day at home. Yay!!

I have a follow up with the Dr right before Thanksgiving. Until then, he gave me a very stern expression and instructed me to "take it easy" in that I mean it tone. No weight bearing on my left foot of two weeks. Aye, aye.

I was home in bed by 10:00pm last night. It was such a relief.

First Day Post Op

I asked to get up and sit in a chair first thing. I stayed up a little under an hour. I started to feel wiped out and dopey at that point. I decided the pain meds were doing me harm than good. As an added bonus they came injected me with blood thinners during the night. I wish I'd been prepared for that! He told me low dose Aspirin. Anyway, I was getting out of bed to go to the bathroom by mid day, but otherwise hanging out in bed.

Dr. B's physician’s assistant came to check on me. He, Mr. P, told me it went well. He even called it "one of the most straight forward surgical dislocations he'd been a part of." That's a huge deal for me, nothing about my orthopedic problems has ever been described as straight forward. He was very nice and said he'd swing by later because most people think of other questions.

Well, I don't know if he forgot me or if I was sleeping when he came back, but I didn't see him again. I can't believe I forgot to ask about the darn blood thinners that was my only question. That night when my nurse gave me the next one I asked if the dr ever gives injections in patient and then prescribed Aspirin out patient. She said no. (Huge toddler style tantrum). Anyway, I figure it'll all get cleared up tomorrow since it's supposed to me my last day.

Surg-er-yyyy Day

Last minutes snags rained down on me, but I was determined to be positive. Grandma's car broke down eliminating our plan b to pick up Isaac. Boo came down with a rash and was waiting to hear whether she was contagious possibly eliminating Riley's plans. It turned out Boo was ok. Just as I breathed a sigh of relief Riley peed on the floor in front of potty and Isaac annoyed his friend right out the door. Sigh, not the restful night I hoped for.

I super hydrated all night to prevent the cottonmouth I woke up with last time. I got up before the alarm thank you time change. Riley was thrilled to be up before the sun. She was stunned that Mommy wasn't sending her back to bed. She was totally trilled that today was her slumber party with Boo. After a hiccup getting my car started we were underway.

My long goodbye made Riley's brow furrow, but she's a tough cookie. Isaac bounded up to my dad's promising to be extra helpful while I was gone. Go team. We got to the hospital just before 7:30am. After paper work we went up to Pre-Op waiting. This was the first time I'd been in there without Riley. When I saw all the people waiting I was overwhelmed. Luckily, the nurse I had the last two times was my nurse again. It was comforting, even if this is not the place I wanted to be a regular.

As usual I was last in line. They didn't come to get me until 11:00am. So many hours of waiting with an empty stomach. I remember "ok now's the the time for hugs and kisses" and then nothing.

When I woke up I was in a room and Mike was by my side. I could hear everyone in the room, but my eyes were having a hard time focusing. Mike read something to me I haven't clue what. I begged him not to go. After that my mom came by and I called Riley to say good night. It's all blur after that.

The Eve of Surgery

I'm so tired today. Part of it is the time change, but mostly I'm a ball of nerves over the surgery. I slept pretty well, but I was up super early. We took the kids to a playground and then we all went to lunch. It was nice. I'm going to miss the kids so much. To avoid my emotions and for practical reasons we came home and cleaned. I got all the dishes done and toys picked up. Mike took down and stored all the Halloween odds and ends.

I blogged for a few minutes before Riley was up from her nap. I was so grateful for the distraction when she woke up. I painted her toe nails pink as per her request. After that Mike took the kids for a bike ride and I packed Riley's bag. She'll be staying overnight with Boo on Monday and coming home after their dance class Tuesday. I needed to do it so that I felt like she was ready. I also really didn't want her to be ready because that would mean it was really happening. The extra hour is miserable I keep thinking it's so much later than it is!

I put like items in gallon ziplocs:

• Pajamas: Bug Night Gown, Piggy PJs and Castle PJs (She'll be wearing one pair over Monday morning and I wanted her to be able to choose that night.)
• Outfits: I packed 3 pants/shirt combinations, a dress and one pair of spare shorts. I listed what went with what on the outside of the bag. Just for variety sake. Miss Roo can be particular about her clothes.
• Undies: 4pairs in a sandwich size bag
• Socks: 4pairs, 2 solid color non-slips and 2 patterned pars
• Shoes: 2pairs, sneakers and slip-ons
• Hair clips: I put them in a snack baggie. I also packed her brush and de-tangler spray.
• Toothbrush and Toothpaste: I'll also pack them in a snack baggie after she brushes her teeth tonight. I left the labeled baggie out where I could see it with a post it reminding me to also grab piggy pillow and Yogi (the bear her Grandpa gave her that she sleeps with).
• Wearing there: She'll wear her jammies, kitty flip flops and her hooded sweatshirt over in the morning.

I'm so sad about not seeing her for two days, but so proud of my highly organized overnight bag.

The first time I had surgery I asked people to bring Riley everyday. She was 8mos and still breastfeeding when they shoved the rod in my spine. Isaac came twice, but it was too scary for him. His reaction made me feel guilty. The next time when they pulled the pins out of my hip Riley was 14mo old and weaned. She hung out with Boo a lot, but not overnight. I asked Mike not to bring Isaac at all that time.

This time Riley is 2yrs 2mo old and very independent. I've asked that niether of the kids come to the hospital until I'm discharged. I hope I'm up to phone calls the first night. I'm planning on being in and out a day or two. Fingers crossed.

Garage Sale Day

Garage sale day or my last big distraction before surgery. Get up early on a Saturday, no problem I do that every week. Purge clothes and toys, needed to do that anyway. Haul two car loads of stuff and the kids over to the location, no problem they love to play with their cousins. Setting up ALL that stuff was when I began to wonder about my decision.

I had Mike drive over with me and unload. After that I sent him on his way and the kids and I took the first shift. It was a rather impressive amount of stuff between all of us. I was hoping to pocket a little money to go in the wedding fund, but mostly I just wanted to get rid of the stuff. Mike gave me some change this morning and said if I made more profit then the $20ish change he gave me he'd be shocked. I sent all kinds of toys and clothes to new homes. I sent all kinds of baby gear off with moms-to-be. I was happier to see it go than to make some money. However, I was thrilled to shock Mike with my take.

At lunch time Mike scooped up the kiddos. They had been well fed by then and were ready to crash. I stayed a few more hours before the waves of customers had slowed to less than a trickle. Then I was thoroughly depressed at the amount of crap I had to load up. I enlisted help to load the car. When I called home Mike remarked on how "beat" I sounded. I realized that he was very right. Although I had a grand plan of going by the clothing donation bin I didn't have the energy.

I came home and took a long nap. When I woke up I had the startling feeling that now there's only surgery to look forward to. Oh, no. What have I left undone? What horrible world shaking mistakes have I made? What consequences will my family suffer in my short absence? I feel completely depressed about my inadequacies and apathetic about things intermittently.

I'll do my best to blog from the hospital, but that didn't work out last time. We'll see.

Building Up...

Yesterday was the slowest day of my life. I had dinner ready and warming in the crock pot by 3:00pm. I was willing the minutes by. Today is the opposite. Where is it going? I've been pre-registered and now actually register and at 6am Monday they'll check me in for surgery.

I have a defiant toddler, a-slobby-work-obsessed-doesn't-know-how-to-react-to-my-stress partner, an eight year old with his eye on his birthday party and a feeling of being completely overwhelmed. It's awful how run down I feel from all the preparing. I'm just in slow motion today.

I really, really wanted to go to the toy store today. I hallucinated for a moment that I could take Riley, but that was not going to happen. I snunk away in the afternoon and wondered the aisles. It was fun. After today's trip we just need Isaac's big present which I think we have to order online and I earned a $10 gift card for today. My kids are essentially done and Mike and I aren't doing gifts for each other this year so I have get going on my DIY projects for the extended family.

Honestly, I could get each kid at least five more things, but I have to keep in check this year. I sent my annual wish list to the grandparents with a lot of the toys I'm not getting so I feel better. Speaking of toys people aren't getting there wasn't a single one of those dolls on the shelf in this store. It's a conspiracy. I'm glad I have one tucked away. Phew.

The Dr. B's office called when we were walking to meet Isaac and it turns out we don't have to be there as early as I thought, so that's something. Easier for kid drop off, harder on my poor empty belly.

Riley Makes Mommy Cry and Laugh

I've been trying to take everything in stride and remember I wouldn't see my baby for 48hrs very soon. There's been a lot of quality time and memory making moments overall. I really do love my girl. It's just tricky because we've entered the oppositional stage two-year-olds are famous for. I get that she needs to practice being assertive, but when it's aimed at you 12hrs a day for almost an entire week it wears thin.

She's usually so agreeable and sweet. This week she's been to time out more times than she has been in her whole short existence. For awful things like hitting Mommy. It's hard to take her places. I tried to bring her with me to the store for my stock up before surgery trip. Big Mistake. It went something like this:
Riley, do you what Blueberry or Apple nurti-grain bars (her favorite)?
No!
Oh, you don't want any. (walking away)
No. I don't like it. I don't! Go back.
Can you ask nicely?
Pleee-ase! nutri-grain bars.
(I put them in the cart)
(she reaches back and picks up the box)
Are you gonna hold them? Thank you helper.
(Pause)No!(she tosses them on the floor)
So much fun. Cryptic answers and erratic behavior really mess with your concentration. I must have made 3 round trips of that stupid store picking up stuff I forgot. Also, it is clear we are in a phase where it is no longer the best plan to get her a cookie at the bakery before we start shopping. I miss when she munched quietly and calmly through the store.

I was living Llama Llama Mad At Momma today. It was bad, but I'm fairly confident it will pass. She is a sweet one at heart. On a lighter note Riley's been watching my old VHS copy of The My Little Pony Movie and apparently she picked up some phrases. Yesterday at the coffee shop while waiting for “Grandma Dorween” she exclaimed "What will become of us." It was pretty stinking cute, but I'm glad I recognized the context. At the store today she said "Never break promise, never!" Ponies strike again. She delivers these with perfect emotion and inflection. She does her actress Mommy proud. I laughed so hard I cried.