Getting Through It

I have developed this mentality that I just need to "make it through." Like "ok, Katie you can do this! Just get through this [doctor's appointment, parent teacher conference, surgery, moving, errands] and then everything will be ok." I purposefully try to get difficult things over quickly. Do the hardest stuff first. Get through the scary stuff fast because in my experience the anxiety of waiting for them to happen is way worse then the event itself (with a few exceptions).

The last two weeks were always going to be difficult. Mrs. D. had to go out of town for two weeks. No school for Miss Roo and no break for Mommy. No big deal on it's own. As a matter of fact, the first week was pretty normal. It was the second week when on top of no breaks from the kids I had to have day surgery and pick up our puppy. That's when things got to be a little overwhelming. Riley and I both missed our routine. Riley also had a hard time not being the baby of the house anymore. It hadn't really occurred to me that there would be jealousy, but a new baby is a new baby.

I was healing from the surgery, Leeloo was learning quickly and everything was about to go back to normal. Riley tipped my wheelchair over yesterday. We were out front and she pulled me over somehow and my poor back slammed into the front step. It was rough. As it turns out that wasn't the only "blow" I'd receive that evening. Mrs. D. returned from her trip ill, there would be no school Monday.

I took it in stride for the length of the phone call and then I hung up the phone and cried. The air conditing had broken over the weekend and had been rigged to work until Monday when they could replace a part. The kitchen was destroyed from the lovely dinner Mike had made me (and me generally taking Mother's Day off). I was injured from the fall and now instead of a few hours of quiet I had a very full plate.

I was startled by the AC guy at 9am and quarantining the toddler and the puppy for subsequent hours of the job was stressful. I got help cleaning up and with the little ones. By the time there was some relief I was starving and tired. I made lunch and kept pushing. In a way it was good to be overwhelmingly busy and distracted because I forgot I had an anxious moment looming. We put Riley down for nap, but she hasn't been sleeping well lately. It not only makes her impossible, but it takes away my laying down time.

True to her new habit she refused to sleep for more the 45min after laying in her room for over 2hrs. After nap I realized my staples come out tomorrow. Don't get me wrong it's a relatively minor ordeal, but I have been so traumatized, by that place the thought of going back for any reason makes me very upset. On top of my emotions there was the Riley logistics and knowledge that however I felt afterward I have to take one or two toddlers to dance class. They have a recital fast approaching.

Inhale. Exhale. Rethink the "getting through it" strategy. It's beginning to discourage me how often I'm using it.