I'm Not Going To Take It...

I am supposed to go back to Old Ortho in the morning for MRI results. I have decided I won't. I cannot justify the stress that hell hole causes me. Does it still hurt, yes. Do I need to know what do next, yes. I do not think it's necessary to go there. I called this afternoon to see if he'd bothered to read my results. He had not. I told her to have him call me before my appointment tomorrow. He won't. Instead I will begin calling when the phone lines go on in the morning and keep calling until there's an explanation. If the information warrants going in to the office I will, I'm not enjoying my condition. If it's a matter of picking up a prescription he can fax it to the pharmacy. In the worst case (which wouldn't at all surprise me) if he knows nothing then there's nothing he can do but offer pain meds.

I won't be too dopey to be articulate about my pain and I won't go back if I don't have to. If he knows nothing then I'll try to get in with "the back guy" and my new ortho's office. I suppose with an MRI from the surgeon who did my last surgery (but knows nothing about my pain) they may take me. This is me being hopeful.

I'm thinking horrific sprain or other such injury since I never did develop a fever. Other more scary things are possible, but less likely. If there's fluid in there at least it's a quick fix. A sponge left over from surgery would be infuriating and complicated. A tumor...well it's not because what are the odds (outside of prime time TV) that a person would develop a tumor in the same spot metal was removed 3wks earlier?

I think I'll have ice cream for breakfast tomorrow. Prayers for answers and relief please.

Car Fail

I woke up in the middle of the night with a really intense pain in my abdomen. I tried to roll on to my belly on top of a pillow and it was excruciating to my back issue. Once I finally got comfy I was knocked out. I woke up once briefly heard Mike and Isaac talking and turned off my alarm. I didn't wake up again until 8:30 when Mike got back from dropping off Riley. Whoa, he did a morning by himself and I didn't wake up. So, I got out of bed gingerly. My abdominal pain was gone and if I moved carefully my back wasn't horrible. I got dressed and headed out the door to the hair appointment I made before the pain started.

I got a few minutes down the road and was in the left lane of a busy intersection when my engine stopped. No stutter or anything just silence. I took a deep breath, thanked God for the red light and tried to start my car. No dice. I put on my flashers and prayed. I tried again while dialing Mike. He knew what it was and how to fix it, but I was sitting in the left lane of a busy intersection and there was no way to get out and tinker and live. So I sat. People honked and screamed. People cursed me and with every turn of the light I got more anxious. It was the temperature of the sun in that car within seconds without the air or ability to crack a window.

I'm glad Riley wasn't with me. I'm glad I wasn't on the highway. I'm glad I didn't need to pee, but this sucked! What is with people anyway? Oh! This isn't a parking spot? Well good thing you honked and called me a stupid B*&%$% or I NEVER would have figured it out. Clearly, I've parked my car here to annoy you for my own enjoyment. Obviously, I'm perfectly capable of getting off the road, but simply prefer to live dangerously. Come on! Shake your head in sympathy and go around. After what felt like 4,000 cycles of the light some nice men helped me. They pushed my car to a gas station. Safely in the driveway of the gas station I let out a sigh of relief and a few tears. I called the salon to tell them I'd be late too.

Then cursing the pain in my shoulder blades like Captain Dan from Forrest Gump confronting the hurricane I disembarked the large paper weight. I limped along the side of the car slamming one crutch into the ground with more force than necessary. Then I opened the hood and the pain tore through me like a forest fire. Knowing for certain the mystery pain could in fact get worse I gritted my teeth and attempted once more to prop it open. Once I had the loose battery contact in my sights I slammed my crutch down on it with all the authority of Thor's hammer. Stupid mechanics at the stupid dealership had filed the stupid thing too short cleaning it once. Once I had banged out some rage on that sucker I limped back around towards my seat.

It was at that precise moment that Mike pulled up. That jerk and his timing I tell ya. Shaking with back spasms and dripping with sweat I yelled "I just banged on it." Without taking in the scene he asked, "Does it work." I had the keys in my hand and was just about to pull myself into position. Obviously, I'd tested it, turned it off and then climbed out of the car?!? Anyway, it started just fine.

There was a nice old man approaching my car just then with a sincere look of concern. God only knows how much he witnessed, but I can imagine seeing the gimp wincing in pain as she limped around her silent car taking two tries to get the hood open and then taking her frustration (albeit painfully) out on the engine. I shut the door and drove off before he ever got a chance to speak.

I didn't look back, but I think Mike acknowledged him as he climbed into his car. Sorry, nice man. You're a descent human being and I'm grateful. I am truly grateful for the folks who pushed me through the intersection to safety. I am grateful to Mike for dropping everything at work to came save me, despite his timing. It was a baaaaad few minutes. I lived. I was only a slightly late to my appointment (although no longer shower fresh). My car ran fine the rest of the day.

First Vet Visit

First before I get into puppy milestones and cuteness for an update on Pain-a-Palooza 2012. Above is a rather dramatic picture of Riley in Old Ortho's waiting room where we found ourselves this morning. It perfectly sums up my emotions about the situation as well. 1,000 words and none of them suitable for print. I called this morning and was told to come right that minute. He did a less than thorough exam at which point I looked him in the eye and said "it's a 10 on the pain scale. A 10. You've known me a long time. Have I ever given you a 10?" Then he sent me for an immediate MRI and after all that haste...wait until Friday to find out anything. Awesome.

In other more pleasant news today was Leeloo's first trip to the vet. She was adorable the whole time. I brought my mom for back up since the pain has made me less than capable of puppy duty. She refused to go out the front door until she knew I was coming. Then Leeloo entered the vet's office charming every human in her path. Clearly they were all there to see her.

Everyone was very nice. Excuse my ragged appearance it has been a rough few days. Leeloo gave them all kisses. She was 13lbs when we brought her home just under a month ago. Today she weighed 21.12lbs! Growing up...Puppies grow waaaaay faster than kiddos. She's healthy. She got two shots and her microchip without so much as a whimper. I was sooooo proud. We'll go back in a month for some more shots. We'll also be back around 6mo to get her spayed. The vet also recommended a site for tags that snap directly onto the collar instead of hanging down, cool.

The only slight mishap was that I had no idea her flea medicine was also heart worm and intestinal worm medicine so the poor puppy got double dose de-wormed. Oops. Poor sweetie. Mike was supposed to come with me and he knew, but he was stuck working through his lunch break. Hopefully it'll work its way out soon. I also pushed myself a little more (because the vet wasn't enough EYE ROLL) to go pick up some paperwork to help up the hubbie and failed. All and all not spectacular, but not bad for operating under duress. I try to be a good mommy to puppies and humans alike. No one can say I don't try. Yay, Leeloo my big brave girl.

Memorial Day

Remembering fallen soldiers? Check. Super duper cute girlie in a flag shirt and home made red white and blue barrette, CHEEEECK! I was in bed in pain, but the company was good. I painted Riley's nails with her new sparkly nail polish from the party on Saturday. Then for the first time ever Riley painted my nails (with the nail polish my Dad and his wife gave me for Mother's Day). I had mounds of green polish on my nails in sections and other parts had no paint at all. I asked Mike to fix it. He did a pretty good job, huh?

I like them and the idea of a manicure in bed very much. Mike and I have been trying to catch up on the last season of House now that it's over. I think in hind sight possibly not the best choice for someone having intense and (as of yet) unexplained pain. Dormant disease? Strange tumor? Exotic parasite? Yup, I'm definitely dying. I always yell at the screen when they argue with House why doesn't anyone trust the guys who is always right? Come on. Anyway, there were also puppy hugs so I survived.

The Fear Factor

I'm not a wuss. I've got a pretty high pain tolerance. Please understand that if I admit that pain is so severe it's causing me fear I'm in bad shape. There aren't a lot of things I fear, but I'm afraid. For the past five days or so I've been having intense back pain between my shoulder blades. Yup, where they just surgically removed some metal. All I could think when the pain increased to a point where it was difficult to move today was "Oh God, not an infection." Post operative infections are indescribably painful. I had always hoped the one I suffered after abdominal surgery would be my first and last.

I pray I'm wrong. I hope I've just injured it some way. Either way the problem now is what to do now. The Emergency Room? Pass. Going back to Old Ortho? Oh. No. I've wracked my brain for an alternative, but there doesn't seem to be one. This CAN NOT HAPPEN. I don't deserve pain like this from a surgery so minor I wasn't even admitted! I shouldn't have to go back to Old Ortho ever again. God help me, I'm in tears writing this.

What if I have to be admitted for IV antibiotics? I have plans this week we're going out of town soon I need to keep them. What if he doesn't take me seriously? What if he tries to give me pain meds? I shredded the prescription they discharged me with. I've been hitting the Advil hard this past week. I want to know whats wrong not to be a doped up zombie, the level of functioning would be the same.

It had to be a holiday weekend so I can't do anything until Tuesday. This post is whiny and horrible and I apologize, but I'm not capable of complex thought. Sunshine tomorrow I promise.

Mommy Kudos: Birthday Party Edition

Hot May day? Shady playground adjacent pavilion, check. Platters of both flavors of Uncrustables for the kiddos (genius), check. Bubbles and coloring books, check. Water balloon baseball, heck yeah!

10,000 times better than a pinata? You betcha. Those soggy sluggers had a blast. Everyone got to be entertained while they waited their turns. Youngest to oldest could all participate. I'm so stealing this one Miss Mel! I'm thinking water balloons suspended on strings and decorated like squids for Isaac's next party. A backyard full of water balloons and little boys with bats, how much fun will that be. Plus Riley's a pro now so she can give big brother some tips.

We weren't bombarded with structured activities, the kids just played. Hula hoops, playground, bubbles, water balloons and friends. Fun stuff. She even had some face painting (washable paint and a willing Daddy to apply it.). Getting your face painted is a very serious thing according to Miss Riley. She looked like a gunslinger squinting into the sun getting her pink and white butterfly applied.

It was a great day. There was a Dora cake and cupcakes! Riley loved hers. There were noise makers too. Miss Mel made girl goody buckets and boy versions too. Smart, smart mom. Riley's purple Dora "baskick" had a purple wand, lip gloss, sparkle nail polish, colored goldfish crackers in a Dora ziploc, Dora fruit snacks, a ring, a Dora whistle and stickers. A+ goodies. Epic fail on my part NOT taking custody of it for the ride home (sorry about the nail polish on the car seat Mrs. D). Good time had by all check!!

Kudos to you Miss Mel!!

Photo Friday

New Bubble Machine + Kids + Puppy= Awesome.

No Kids Allowed

A friend turned me on to STFU, Parents. It's a blog about over sharing on Facebook. It has claimed countless minutes of my life while Riley napped, and inspired a few lively discussions between Mike and I.

For example, I fully admit to taking a picture of Isaac peeing into a river while we were camping a few years ago, but I did NOT post it to Facebook. And while I'm totally guilty of potty training related statuses, I've never stopped changing a diaper or helping a kid on the potty to take a picture and put it on Facebook. I'm totally guilty of "Mommy Jacking" (hijacking someone else's post to talk about my kids), but never on a status about someone dying. Sometimes it's hard to remember that even though your life revolves around the kids no one else's does. I guess most of us have made our fair share of missteps on the inter web social scene. Those of us who never learned in real life will always be inappropriate and attempt to make everything about them. A passive aggressive medium only makes the passive aggressive folks well...worse.

That's all to be expected, but what blew my mind was all the parents being demanding and judgmental. Looooong speeches on people's walls about how you don't count as a worthwhile human being until you have children. What the? Most of them are new parents, ummm...weren't you one of "those" people a few months ago? Jeepers. There are great people without kids and probably more to the point there are not so great people who are parents. I understand that the world changes completely when you have children and a good parent does deserve credit. You shouldn't have to put down others to get it. I do not think your loss of the single lifestyle means you should be nasty to those who haven't made that sacrifice.

The biggest thing these high and mighty parents say over and over that has always bothered me is that their children should always be invited and included in everything. One mom said every event should include her children and have snacks and activities! Whoa. Here's how it works you don't go to these things until you're okay leaving the kids with a sitter. That's all there is to it. Most of the time there is a very good reason kids aren't welcome somewhere. Safety, time of day, appropriateness of activity, etc. I have been on both sides of this issue. I have thrown adults only events and attended them without my children. As a parent I don't want to bring my children somewhere they haven't been invited. In the best case scenario the kids will be bored. I take it as a sign I need a few hours off and take them. If you can't be away from your kids for a few hours then stay home. That my friends is the sacrifice you're always harping about. The idea is to balance the family friendly stuff with the stuff that isn't, not to demand everyone caterer to your family's needs all the time.

Mother's Day Recap

I know it's been a while, but I got a beautiful card from Riley that she made at school a few days after Mother's Day and then visited Stuff Kids Write which inspired me to dig out my scanner. So here is her beautiful card:

The Front

Her hand prints. Of course the finger nails are painted, my little girly girl.

The message it was raining that day so it got a little smeared. It says:

HANDS DOWN!
5 Reasons I Love Mommy...
She dooz kisses!
Mommy plays house!
She pushes me on swings!
Mommy make my hair wook pretty!
She gives food on the table!

Just imagine a Mother's Day card that doesn't have any mention of video games. If only her brother had been guided through his Mother's Day card process by a preschool teacher...

I described his card in my Mother's Day Post and here it is in its full glory. He poses the question "Does being good at video games count?" Count for what? We never do find out, but maybe it's a more existential query than I'm giving a 9yr old credit for.

Yes, Happy Mother's Day and I love you Mom BUT did you know how they layer the backgrounds of video games in a specific way to give them dimension? Whoa! Right? Now you'll NEVER forget because I wrote in in your card. My research is pretty reliable, it may even be half true. So, you're welcome for the quasi enlighting "fact" and the rushed sentiment.

If deep thinking and made up video game facts weren't enough, a portrait. Thanks kid, that one is a real confidence booster. I didn't recognize myself with the hair cut. I may give hime permission to stop making non-stick figure renderings of me from now on. On top of my lovely self he drew what he tells me is his dad falling in the background (the speck over my shoulder there). I guess you only get parachutes on Father's Day.

All joking aside, weird cards are what memories are made of. Also in his defense "The Euro of Women will rise" was a tough act to follow.

Building A Curriculum

Here's the situation if I weren't an actress, writer, stay-at-home mom, event planner I would be teaching. I have survived by teaching acting a few times. I enjoy it. I especially liked working with younger kids. I spent two semesters of college teaching kindergarteners. I think it helps my parenting in general that I have teaching experience. I even considered (when Isaac was having such a tough first grade year) homeschooling him. I knew I could give him the appropriate levels of academics and one on one attention. Aside from not wanting to "give up" on the public education system (how will it ever get better if we all bail?) I knew Isaac needed the forced socialization.

Over the summer we usually enroll Isaac in some sort of science camp. He loves it. He is a creature of routine who very much comes unglued with something at least vaguely familiar. It keeps him around his peers, but better than it's kids his age who enjoy science. It gives Mom a break and keeps us all sane. He usually goes for 9 out 10 weeks during regular school hours (8am-2pm) plus after care. We've always skipped the last one before school starts. The problem is when I began my research this year our best option was the camp he went to last year, but the grades are grouped two years for each set of classes. He's in the 2-3rd group again and the classes are almost identical to last year. There was no way I was going to shell out that kind of money for repeats.

I briefly considered petitioning to bump him up to the 4-5 group since there classes looked amazing (robotics, rocket building, etc), but again Isaac has social issues so an environment full of older kids is asking for trouble. I spent a few weeks looking for an alternative, but everything near us was completely inappropriate, very short term or really expensive. Then I found great stuff hours away, but with a toddler and a puppy there's no way.

I decided we would enroll him in the same science camp he did last year, but only do three weeks. One week in June, one week in July and one in August. Which means a lot of work for me. He's all signed up now. With his spot secure (for the weeks Mike and I hand picked) it was time for me to work on his curriculum at home. A teacher friend recommended Summer Bridge Activities and we'll be using the 4-5th grade book from them. It's set up to span a summer. It breaks up the subjects up nicely and makes suggestions for hands on experiments or physical activities to do. It also has a companion CD. I'm excited. On top of that we found a physics workbook with lots of fun games. It's AP physics, but Mike assures me it's not over Isaac's head at all. I hope it's not over mine and Isaac will certainly think it's a treat.

Obviously, we'll be doing a lot more than workbooks. There will be field trips, summer reading lists, free time and maybe if I play my cards right some arts and crafts that will engage Riley too. I'm still formulating a daily schedule, but it's already feeling less overwhelming. I'm open to suggestions too. Riley will still go to her school three days a week this summer so I have four days a week for 6-7wks to entertain a 9 & 2yrs old. May the force be with me.

Back To Adapting

It was a slightly different "back to normal" today. I found myself with kids neatly squared away at their respective schools rushing home to Miss Leeloo. Which wasn't an altogether unfamiliar thing, to have a baby at home. I reflected on what I saw as the biggest challenge all the way home: How will I get her outside quickly? Luckily, she had been out a few minutes ago and was lazily munching her breakfast in her "room" (crate) when I got back, passing my husband in the driveway.

She was calm enough and settled down to sleep for a bit afterward so I had time to ponder. I mulled it over while I folded laundry and tidied toys. I wasn't going to cause a regression making her pee on the pee pee pads all day. Plus, that wouldn't be super fun for my back either. I decided to try my go-to in Middle School, I would attempt to use my wheelchair as a stroller and push her to the backyard. If that failed I could attempt to carry her on my lap.

Plan A was an epic fail. She wanted nothing to do with being in the wheelchair by herself and even with my arm serving as a seat belt she jumped out. Than I attempted to sit down and scoop her up, but she is no longer the 13.1 pound baby we brought home. While I am still able to lift her from the lower couch trying to pick her up from my wheelchair is a no go. Shoot. We'd have to do it baby duck style. She'd have to follow me.

I got her outside, but she recoiled from the heat and camped out in the shade on the patio. I rolled down into the grass and tried to coax her out. I used the same words Mike does "pee pee time". She didn't budge. After such a long nap she had to be bursting. I got down on the ground and petted her, eventually pulling her into the grass. I got up and watched her for what felt like forever and then finally she got up sniffing. With her bouncy puppy run she found a nice spot in the flower bed and took a tinkle. I praised her no end and thought maybe we might just make it.

The rest of our potty trips were increasingly longer and in some cases unsuccessful. Just like a toddler she followed happily then almost immediately began testing my resolve. On the plus side she knows Mommy and Daddy can take her out to potty now with certainty. Also a bright spot she's 11 weeks old Thursday which means in a week she'll be old enough to hold it. She's growing up so fast.

We Planted Pumpkins!

On Mother's Day (May 13th 2012) these went into the ground. They are "Big Max" pumpkins. We're starting with eight seeds and hoping to have between 2-4 large pumpkins by the fall.

Ready for planting.

Look at those roots!

Here's the growth from May 13-May 22nd

Grow pumpkins, grow!

Smart Women

My family is now full of them. This picture is of Miss Riley and Miss Leeloo, my girls. Riley was having her dinner while enjoying Fern Gully while Leeloo took a nap. Leeloo now understands: Down, Drop it, Sit, No Bite, Pee Pee, and Put it Back (for her toys). I cannot believe how fast see learns. If we stay on top of her potty schedule (taking her out every 2hrs and/or when she wakes up from naps) she never needs the pee pee pads. She's had a few nights in a row sleeping in the crate. If we don't close her in while she eats she stays in calmly until she's done. I also gave her a large low basket for her toys a few days ago. She was very excited about this. She took each toy out in turn and eventually climbed in herself, so cute. Sometimes she would sleep curled around it, guarding it. Today for the first time I saw her bring her toy back to the basket. Mike said "Oh, she learned put it back." She sure had. She proceeded to drop a toy in a pick another one several time to much praise. We definitely got the pick of the litter.

Riley's no slouch either. She is her mother's daughter for sure. Riley has an extraordinary memory in general, but specifically for movies. For example she climbed down from her "Rapunzel tower" in the backyard and then bent down and felt the grass. After that she ran around the backyard saying "I can't believe I did this" over and over. It was a very successful recreation. This afternoon she brought me one of her plastic princess crowns. Then she instructed me to "see yourself in the jewels Mommy." Then she "saw herself", tried it on as a bracelet and then ran off to get Pascal.

Maybe you think it's just one movie she's seen ad nauseum. Very recently, like in the last week, Riley has seen Mulan between 4-6 times. There is a song near the start of the movie You'll Bring Honor To Us All. Here are the actual lyrics:
We'll have you washed and dried
Primped and polished till you glow with pride
Trust my recipe for instant bride
You'll bring honor to us all.
I was sitting in the living room when Riley came in with a large paintbrush and a small play food cake mix box. She had opened the box like a compact and was brushing the paintbrush inside it and then offering to paint my face. She started singing immediately, but it me me a minute to realize what she was saying:
Washed and dwied!
Painted, polished till you glow the pwide.
Recipe for instant bride.
You'll bring honor to us alllllll
She was pretending to paint my face like a Chinese bride and insisting I twirl my hair at the end of the process just like Mulan in the movie. I love her!

Sleepy Kids & Canines

Leeloo slept like a baby in her crate ("room") last night. We moved her closer to us. There were a few whimpers, but nothing like last night. She's make a quiet whining noise and I'd say "it's ok." and she'd settle right down. She slept several hours before needing to go out and pee pee. She had a little bit of trouble settling down after her trip out back, but she did. As usual she was up at dawn and everyone else needed to be too! It's hard to be mad when you wake up to puppy kisses.

I got Isaac out the door on time and was overwhelmed by the feeling I'd forgotten something. The end of the school year becomes a relentless onslaught of events. Yesterday, he had a big party for his last gifted class of the year. Today, was a inflatable water slide party for meeting his reading goals for the state "battle book" program. If it's not food or plastic silverware it's a bathing suit and change of clothes. Isaac is certainly the kid who would forget his head if it weren't attached, but I'm usually pretty on the ball. Back to back parties fried my circuits a bit.

I, of course, had Miss Roo dressed with shoes on and hair done up and fed, but was still in my PJ's. I explained to Riley we needed to be heroes! Like Mulan (a new favorite of Riley's). She was hesitant, but game for the adventure. I dressed quickly with a little shoe help from my husband. Then Riley helped me gather Isaac's necessary garments and put them in a bag. She's very helpful picking out clothes.

I explained that we were NOT going to Isaac's class just into the office. She was a little bummed. I think she thought we were joining the water slide activities. I parked in a space that probably wasn't meant for me, but they only have a single handicapped spot anywhere near the office and it was taken by a parent running in with a tardy student. Riley objected that this was not her school. I explained that was next, but next is tricky when you're two and a half. Riley walked in with me all business and then didn't want to leave. I explained now it was time to go to her school and now is something she has a firm grasp on.

"We're heroes Riley!" I told her as we made our way out of the parking lot. I stayed with my favorite toddlers most of the morning. When I came home however, my puppy was displeased. She was mopey and mad. She went potty on every pee pee pad in the house and off of them a few times no matter how long I spent outside with her. She was just upset with me for leaving and Mike for working instead of playing with or taking her out as often. She had more accidents today than in the entire time we've had her. Regressive days happen in potty training. She's lucky she's cute and that Nature's Miracle spray exists.

After a long afternoon Isaac ended up having a friend over to spend the night for the first time ever. His friend had never spent the night away from home either. They're 9 & 10yrs old. They were so excited, it was adorable. When we told them they'd have their own pizza they jumped up and down. They watched movies and played a Star Wars computer game. They were in their PJ's by 9:30 and settling down by 10pm, but when we got up to take Leeloo out at 2:40am they were still awake! They went to sleep shortly after.

Leeloo did even before better than the night before. She settled right in for bed. Woke us up only once, did her business and went back to sleep. She even got up at dawn and waited another hour to insist someone play with her. I think like human babies puppies get their days and nights confused at first. I think she's figured it out now.

The Overnight Issue

So it seemed to me crate training was a bit like getting the baby to sleep in its crib. As far as potential stress, time commitment and rewards. All the expects agree it's a good idea, but they all seem to circulate the same vague information on how to achieve this. We were suprised last week that Mike's dad told us he had crated his puppy right from the start. The more I thought about it the more I figured most people don't have a choice. We knew that puppies bladder muscles don't mature until 12wks and up until then they have a 2-3hr bladder capacity at most. That worried us as well as the idea of rushing the whole crate idea.

At first everything we were reading was the same. The crate's their den-like quiet space it keeps them safe and helps house train them. Never use it as punishment. Make sure they get in voluntarily and have a pleasant experience. Ok, great...We tossed treats and toys in there. We only praised her when she's in the crate, never make a big deal coming out. Always let her out when she's calm never associate crying with being released. That was all fine, but how exactly to we get to the point of crating overnight?

This was the first video/article we found that described the progression. We had already diligently "introduced the crate". Now it was time to start feeding her in the crate. You put the dish in the back and shut the door while they eat. At first you open the door right away when they finish and you gradually increase to 10min after eating. She was doing so well with this during the day I decided to try crating her overnight. I worried that we waited too long. That it would be harder because we hadn't made her sleep in there with the door shut from the start.

We had moved her in there when she was sleeping and left the door open a few times. She's even gone in and laid down herself a few times with the door open. So after a rockstar day eating and hanging out in her crate with the door shut on Monday we decided to try overnight. We took her out to potty, played with her for awhile and then threw a treat in her "room". She settled down happily at first, but got anxious after about 6-7min. Mike laid on the floor next to her crate until she fell asleep. When she woke up to go potty in the night Mike took her out and didn't have the heart/wakefulness to put her back in and shut the door.

Yesterday, we continued to close her into her "room" to eat and hang out. She didn't do as well, but not terrible. We stayed up later last night than we had the night before. We took her out to potty and then praised her when she went in to her "room" and laid down. Mike and I were in sight in our bed watching a movie. After a few minutes of calmly laying down she sat up and tapped the door to be let out. Then she whined and cried. When we didn't respond she started barking it was awful pained barking. Then Mike got down on the floor next to the crate and she mellowed out. This time she woke up several times crying during the night it was terrible. After Mike took her out to potty during the night he put her back in and shut the door. I think she slept 20 more minutes, at least that's what it felt like. It was a horrible night.

We both dragged ourselves out of bed upset and exhausted. We agreed to do more research. We think moving her a little closer to us may help since she calms when someone is next to the crate. Other than that I re-read that first article, which didn't really get into overnight. I found this article. Right away, I felt better. They suggest increasing the time in the crate with the door shut up to 30mins slowly before leaving them home alone in the create. They also specifically discuss overnight saying you do have to take them out to go to the bathroom during the night which seemed obvious to us. They also say this about what happened to us last night:
If the whining continues after you've ignored him for several minutes, use the phrase he associates with going outside to eliminate. If he responds and becomes excited, take him outside. This should be a trip with a purpose, not play time. If you're convinced that your dog doesn't need to eliminate, the best response is to ignore him until he stops whining. Don't give in; if you do, you'll teach your dog to whine loud and long to get what he wants. If you've progressed gradually through the training steps and haven't done too much too fast, you'll be less likely to encounter this problem. If the problem becomes unmanageable, you may need to start the crate training process over again.

This morning when I put Leeloo's breakfast down and she went in and I shut the door, but she didn't eat. This time instead of leaving her in there the 5-10min and then releasing her I just let her out when she calmly indicated she was ready. Then I took the food dish out and set it on top of the crate and left the door open. The prior two days she was going back in and eating with the door open until someone noticed on occasion. After 20min she went looking for her breakfast and I put the bowl back in. She went in and ate with door closed at that point. Mental note: this is the way to go. Hopefully, if we play our cards right during the day (when she almost never whines or cries with the door shut) and make a few adjustments at night maybe she'll do better.

Although letting her "cry it out" was suggested most of my research indicates it simply isn't necessary if you do it right. They say crying indicates you increased time with the door shut too quickly and to just back up a bit. They also suggest a little crying the "first few" nights is ok. Which implies to me she'll be done fussing after a week of this. It's hard, just as hard as listening to Riley cry when she was 2mos old. At this point all though we were ready to, as dawn found us with more fingers on one hand than hours of sleep, give up we will persevere. I worry about her getting bigger and harder to contain at night and getting hurt. Parenting is so hard even when it's a furry baby. Wish us a peaceful night.

Clean-up, Clean-up...Everybody Does Their Share

Here's Riley sweeping to When Will My Life Begin. Excuse my singing.

I forget because I see them very day that my kids are growing. They are evolving and changing into capable little beings. Over the weekend Isaac took the dog for a walk on his own. This morning Riley carried one of my crutches so I could carry something else. They can be helpful now, individually and as a team. Isaac's had a responsibility list since he was about 6yrs old. Originally it was pretty much homework and take out the trash. Now he's expected to clean out his lunch box, do homework, do his reading, put away clean dishes/deliver clean clothes to the appropriate rooms, give animals water and tidy his room. On occasion Riley and Isaac load the dryer as a team. He takes the wet clothes out of the washer and passes them to her to put in the dryer. They seem to really enjoy it. I forget sometimes how much they can do.

I think it's good for them to contribute and feel helpful. It reinforces that we're a team. Recently though Isaac has become extremely lazy. I thought it was a 9yr old boy phase, but it goes on and on. I am spending most of my day asking him to finish his list. He resists anything above the bare minimum even when rewards are offered for a task's completion. It's frustrating. I ask him why there are dishes that haven't been put away and he says "they're still wet." At this point I wonder why he's not able to solve this problem on his own. I explain that in that case dry the 3 remaining dishes with the towel and put them away. He reacts with indignation stomping around and crying. What happened?

I explain that he's old enough for an allowance, but until he takes responsibility for his chores I am doing the work and he can't be paid. This works for an afternoon. He suddenly smiles as as he completes his handfull of tasks. He still announces EVERYTHING he's doing which is just as disruptive as having to motivate each task. So we talk about how actions speak louder than words. Don't tell me you're doing a good job show me, etc. I'm tired just thinking about it. I want to be able to relay on the kids to at least make an attempt at their chores.

Riley's different she craves independence and is a natural problem solver. She can be reasoned with to pick up her toys or enticed with a sticker. She likes to help Mommy with the laundry or to brush the puppy. If I give her a rag to dust with she engages with enthusiasm. She's genuinely proud of herself and validation is nice, but secondary. I hope that as they grow and I heal we can strike a more even household chore situation.

I tend to use the domestic stuff to gauge my mobility level. I want to be supermom. To do it all. I want to tell my cleaning lady "I'll do the floors myself from now on." For the kids to come home to a tidy house and fresh baked cookies at the end of a school day, but that isn't reality. Just like the development of children my mobility does not progress in a linear pattern. Good days, bad days...In the near future I how to find a balance of positive reinforcement and consequence that Isaac responds to and to keep giving Riley more independence in appropriate doses. I'm afraid that Isaac is becoming entitled and I don't know how it's happening. I'm also worried I'll cling too Riley's "babyness" too long.

As for me I will continue to (cringe) except the help of others including my children when appropriate until it's no longer necessary. Sigh... I also promise to continue to do everything in my power to try to instill a sense of personal responsibility in each of children in what ever way their personality and temperament accepts. Onward through dishes, laundry, homework, tantrums and such...my glamorous life.

Staple Removing

When I had the spinal fusion they had to remove 113 staples. Today there would be notably less to come out. I was having a full on anxiety attack last night. Back to Old Ortho's hell hole of an office. My mom came with to hang on to Miss Riley. My appointment was at 9:30am. We pulled in at 9:15am we were signed in and seated shortly after. We sat down and read Riley's books for a while. A LONG while. 45min later not one person had been called back. It was the same old crap. Jerks. In just under an hour of waiting I FINALLY got called. I remember feeling faint from pain after being confided to one of those awful chairs in the waiting room for over an hour after back surgery.

They made me get an X-ray. An x-ray? They removed hardware. What were they checking? The empty space where the metal had been? It wasn't part of the bone's integrity just an extra bit from 2yrs ago. Sigh. Then she came in and said "how long since your surgery?" Geez people, read a chart. Then she asked if anyone took an X-ray. Do you even work here? Geez. She said everything was fine.

Then a gentleman came in and popped up the 22 staples like he does this in his sleep. Only 2 hurt. Then we were making our way back to the front when the Old Ortho stopped me in the hall and starts looking me over. It was eerie like he was looking for a way to squeeze more money out of my broken body. He even acknowledged he may never see me again after today. Darn right.

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